i know it aounds really bad but i have hurd of teen moms like wishing they dident have there baby and im scared ill feel like that to when i get stressed out is this at all normal?? i dont mean to sound like a freak but i get sterssed out alot and im kinda worried that it might happen to me...im only 19 and im 33 weeks
2006-12-14 18:10:53 · 20 answers · asked by [♥] KaDeN's MoMmY [♥] 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
im not giving up my baby .i dident mean this question like that i have a loveing and supportive boyfriend and family i am juat askin because i have hurd of people feeling this way and i was jaut wondering if anyone else had this problem ?? thats all i would never really hurt my baby i just didnt knoe if the thoughts were normal
2006-12-14 18:32:17 · update #1
It is absolutely normal! Even people who aren't teenage moms get stressed out and have second thoughts, even after their kids are born. Pregnancy is hormonally rough and permanently changes your life. The stress has to be even worse if your adult life has just barely started and it's getting turned upside down. And boy, that last bit of pregnancy can be really rough!
If you're running into this a lot, though, it may be something to bring up with your doctor. The doctor might be able to reassure you or might refer you to a therapist who can help you sort out some of the stress issues.
I don't know your situation, but my guess from your question is that you're a good person. (People who aren't good don't ask questions like yours - they just make their kids feel bad for ever being born, or maybe abuse or murder them.) So try not to feel too guilty about what you're feeling. Be aware of it and take measures to deal with it, but definitely don't feel like you're bad just because of what you're feeling.
2006-12-14 18:23:21 · answer #1 · answered by IrritableMom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am a teen mom too and I'll tell you what my mom told me right after my daughter was born. It won't hurt your child to sit alone and cry for a few minutes if you just need to go sit in the bathroom and hide for a minute or so. Of course operative word is a minute or so. I know that when my daughter was having a hard time with ear infections and her father was working and I was all alone for what seemed like 5-6 hours with her screaming no matter what I did I would lay her down in her crib with her pacy and her blankie and just walk away. Just for 5 minutes but those 5 minutes can mean so much in the big scheme of your sanity. There is no shame in needing just a few minutes to down a Tylenol, take a sip of water, and gather yourself back together before diving back into the fray that is parenting. Personally the fact that you are worried about whether or not you'll be a good mom is the biggest clue that you will be. Good luck!
2006-12-14 22:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by evilangelfaery919 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, your 19 years old. While that is kinda young, its not extremely young. You are an adult and you need to act like one because you are going to be a mother. Now if you were 15 or 16, I would feel sorry for you. If you have stress issues, maybe you should talk to a professional so you can learn how to control your emotions. You need to make sure you can be a good mother to this innocent little baby you carry in your womb. Also, if you really feel like you are not going to love this child, consider giveing it up for adoption because there are a lot of really nice people out there that would love to have a baby but cant. do the right thing. either get help for your stress, or give your baby up if you cant deal with it.
2006-12-14 18:19:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
first, don't listen to all the bad comments. the fact that you're talking about it now is good. definately talk to your dr, s/he will be able to help you out, maybe give you numbers to call, or support groups to go to if you do feel overwhelmed after having the baby.
I have a 2 year old and 8 month old twins. I'm 28 and don't think age has anything to do with being stressed out over raising children. Look at Brooke Sheilds. She was brave enough to come out and tell her story so that women wouldn't be afraid to admit to these feelings and get help.
I hope when you have your baby you don't have any of those feeling, if you do remember it's nothing to be ashamed about, there's always someone out there to talk to if you feel you can't go to family (but sounds like you have a great support system). I wish you the best. My biggest peice of advice, if the baby is driving you crazy it's ok the put him or her in a safe place like their crib and go sit in a quiet place and calm down. I've done this many times. The baby is fine, and taking 10 minutes to yourself to relax, maybe grab some tea or something, will do you both a little good.
Good luck and have FUN!
2006-12-14 19:15:15 · answer #4 · answered by Mandi 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Yes.
No one likes to admit it, but a lot of new moms (and dads) will have bad thoughts in the heat of frustration. You'll be surging with post partum hormones, frustrated with a baby that you don't understand/can't communicate with (but you will learn to!), completely sleep deprived, sore from birth, etc.
Honestly, will all those things working against you, I'm surprised it isn't something all moms think about at one point or another.
The thoughts will be overpowered by the love you will feel. Keep in mind, though... It isn't always instant. The bond between you and your baby, I mean. Sometimes it is a love that has to be learned and a bond that takes time. Once you get it, though... It's the strongest love ever imaginable.
Took me a week or two to really bond with my daughter.
2006-12-14 21:16:51 · answer #5 · answered by Jocelyn 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are scared, having a baby is a huge change. Have it and love it but if at anytime you start having these negative feelings for your child seek help whether it be family or a doctor. A lot of people have postpartum depression and some go on to harm their children. It is definitely serious.
But if you are only worried you might have bad feelings about your baby you already care more than a lot of people. I think you will do fine but if you are really worried talk to your family and doctor. Good luck to both you and your baby
2006-12-15 01:02:29 · answer #6 · answered by Maroo 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
COngratulations on your baby. you seem like a nice mom and i hope the best for you and baby.
As for wishing bad thoughts, i know you are just worried about it from peoples experiences. One thing i will say is you have unconditional love for yor child (most normal people do anyway lets exclude the microwave mom and the schizo mom)...but like anything you love, there are moments you are stressed out not every moment is the best...i feel guilty wishing my child was asleep haha. there will be hard moments too...(like a few minutes or few nights) and depending on how stressed of a person you are you might wsh something without meanng to. just remember to persevere and it will all be worth it when the moment passes. he/she might cry a lot while you have a final and yes you will be frustrated....but as the moment passes youll forget it ... not every moment is the greatest, but the gret moments outrule the hard ones....
good luck
2006-12-15 03:09:49 · answer #7 · answered by klumzy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No its not normal to think that way
people who have those thoughts need to see a Dr
Babies are the most beautiful little things & you will love it to bits
to have a dear liittle thing so dependent on you is such a beautiful thing but some can be overwhelmed especially if they get what is called baby blues or post natal depression
those are the reasons mums can't cope & a Dr is needed
Mums also need to know they need a break from the baby & so an outing to the movies etc is necessary
even shopping so if they have a good sitter they can turn to will be a big help
good luck & congratulations to you
2006-12-14 21:34:10 · answer #8 · answered by ausblue 7 · 0⤊ 3⤋
If your having these feelings already then you must talk to a doctor right away about Post Partum Depression. It can and does happen during pregnancy as well as after. I had it with my second child and i promise you that it is nothing to mess around with. It can get very bad without medication, even scary.It also will not go away without treatment. Please check out the info below via the link. Congrats on the baby and Merry Christmas.
http://www.womenshealth.gov/faq/postpartum.htm
2006-12-14 18:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by Danelle 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you have anyone who can help you when you're stressed? Can you call your Mom and ask for help when the baby's crying and you can't get it to stop, etc. ?
Is there anyone who could come in and help out a bit, now and then? If you have someone you can count on, you'll do just fine.
PS If you DO stress out, DO NOT shake that baby, or hurt it in any way.
2006-12-14 18:16:37 · answer #10 · answered by kiwi 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋