I have been married for 15 years and my Wife beats me. How can I tell her she's hurting me ?

Question

At first when we have sex she beats me up because it turns her on. As the years went by she starting to get more violent. She started to punch me in the face and kick me in the nuts to the point I would throw up. In bed she would tied my arms and legs up and whip my diick until I bled then she would rub my pennis head really hard after I cumm and cause me pain. It has now gone to the point of threatening to kill me with a knife. Did I bring this upon myself to her do these things to me before ?

How can I tell her shes wrong and shes hurting me ?

Answer 1

too long man, cant be bother to read it, just give me the 10 pts

Answer 2

After 15 years of letting her have her way, I really don't think anything you would say would make her stop.

With that said, what is happening to you is spousal abuse, it does not mean you are to blame.

Since you want it to stop because you fear for your life, you need to detach yourself from the situation all together. You need to leave. Once you have removed yourself from the position of being harmed further, you may be able to talk her into counseling, if not then she probably doesn't want help.

Many victims of spousal abuse seem to somehow think they are getting what they deserve, but that is not the case, NO-ONE deserves to be abused for ANY reason.

Abuse may affect virtually every aspect of an abused person's life. It can harm their physical and mental health, their ability to work, and their relationships with their children and other loved ones. Being abused can destroy a person's sense of self-efficacy and self-worth.

Abusers are responsible for the violence and harm they cause. In some cases, abusers may have been abused - or exposed to abuse - themselves. They may have learned that abusing others is a way to exert power and control. They may continue to abuse others even if it destroys their relationships or has other negative effects on their lives such as involvement in the criminal justice system. Some abusers eventually kill their victims and themselves.

Answer 3

Only you will know when it is safe to leave. You do not deserve any form of abuse. This is a serious situation, and potentially can be deadly for you. Domestic violence is not uncommon for the male population, and you are couragous for reaching for help.
Your wife needs help. She can attended Battery Intervention Groups, but she may not agree to attend unless she is mandated by the court. It concerns me that she is not willing to hear that she is hurting you.
When you know that it is safe to leave, here are some steps to keep you safe. 1) Do not allow yourself to be cornered in a room, especially a kitchen, bathroom, a room where weapons are stored, or rooms without doors or windows. 2) Keep important documents in a safe location (bank locked box). 3) Mentally address escape routes, and where the keys to the vehicle are. If you do not have a vehicle and cannot safely drive...go to a neighbors house or PUBLIC PLACE. 4) After talking on the phone, call a local business in your area to make your calls untraceable. If she gets the phone bill, all of your calls to domestic abuse hot-lines will not be listed. When it is safe for you to leave, the number below will get you in contact with local assistance. 5) If you write this number down, put your local area code in place of the 800, and put a persons name by it that she is not suspicious of. 6) This will be painful, but take pictures of you injuries, and put them in a safe location, such as a locked bank vault.
I am sorry that you are going through this, and it is NOT YOUR FAULT. It may be comforting for you to know that if you leave your abusive situation, and obtain a restraining order...the judge may issue the possessions to you. Even if your spouse pays for the vehicle. (or it is in her name). You also have the right to contest a restraining order within 30 days after service.

Answer 4

She really need professional help and QUICK before something serious happen. For a start, get out and stay out untill she is being examine by the professionals or detain for observation in the psychiatric ward.

Good Luck

Answer 5

Isn't it strange that you allowed all this to happen?

Isn't it obvious that you are already physically battered and you still are considering of telling her?

Let me ask you instead, why stick with her despite all these abuses?

I don't get the point. If you feel insecured and weak, you better get these feelings out of your system and start anew.

She is a freak!

Answer 6

yes you brought it on yourself by allowing her act out. She needs help. If she is not willing to go to a sex therapist with you to get help. I would say you have no other choice but to leave her sad to say but true. If you don't get out she will end up hurting you really bad if not killing you. I feel so bad for you i am really sorry. It is a shame you stayed so long. I know men who have done the same thing to their wife's and it always ends up in tragedy and dispare. With a person like this enough is never enough. save yourself.

Answer 7

Sounds like its gone beyond the fun and games.. It sounds like she is a full fleged DOM wanna be .. I say wanna be because any DOM worth her salt will respect the safe words .. she doesnt she wants to HURT
Consider yourself a battered man .. dear there is nothing to be ashamed of and you need help in getting out of the relationship ASAP.

Help for Battered Men
http://www.batteredmen.com/bathelpareyou.htm

S.A.F.E.
concentrates on domestic violence against straight men, gay men, and lesbian women, because few services exist for these groups. Personal stories, a comprehensive listing of Web resources and books, info on local shelters and groups that help battered men or offer services for abusive women, suggestions on how you can make a difference in the lives of people affected by abuse. E-mail list and Bulletin Board.
http://www.safe4all.org/


Battered Men Helpline

Articles, information, links. Are You Abused? In the news. Battered Men's support groups are starting up in Southern and Central Maine. Call their toll free number 1-877-643-1120 Access Code # 0757 for meeting times and locations. If you who are interested in helping and/or offering financial support, please call 207-683-2515. re is a group trying to set up services for heterosexual abused men. P.O. Box 252, Harmony, Maine 04942. E-mail [e-mail]


Helping Men: Helping to heal male victims of domestic violence
http://www.helpingmen.com/

It is the intention of this webpage and this organization to expose a great injustice in American society today. Many men are being battered and /or falsely accused of domestic violence, and we find this unacceptable and intolerable. ... In order to be heard, men must speak out. If you are a male victim of domestic abuse, or have been falsely accused of this crime, won't you please take a stand and fight with us? Come out of the shadows that you have been put under by a twisted system and demand that justice be served.




Battered Husband Support
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/batteredhusbandssupport
A place for battered husbands or boyfriends.
If you're a man who's been battered by your female partner, this is a place to come for support. The only rule I'm absolutely firm on is that anyone abusing others here will be booted. Other than that, any areas of discussion are open. If things degenerate into flaming, I'll step in, but otherwise, it's up to you guys. Women who want to support us are welcome here, but anyone who comes in accusing us of being liars, antifeminists, or part of some "backlash" will be summarily ejected.


Goodluck to you

Answer 8

why do you stand for this? this is wrong and no one should have to go through that kind of abuse. if your scared to tell her maybe go to the friend, police or go and talk to a pastor about this he can give you good solid advice. from what i see better than what your receiving on this so far.. good luck and may god be with you.

Answer 9

I wouldnt tell her, I would just divorce her, you should of done that along time ago, if she does that to you, find someone that will treat you way better then your wife.

Answer 10

Idiot If you are so weak that you can not defend yourself,
Take a baseball bat to bed with you and beat her with it..