What shall i do. Fell for another.?

Question

This is going to be tough. My marraige is with 1 kid and over 6 years. We went through rough times prior to getting married. I was soft and pitiful and didn't dare to speak up and try to resolve or end my relationship then. Over the years, things became worse. Other paty is not a bad person, just too different worlds. Now, i've no longer any feelings for her. Recently fell for another whom i've know for 2 years or more. No hanky panky, but we are so in tune and if i'm not married, that would be it. Never been so sure. We both were not looking, but discovered each other. This probably is cheating, but i felt that i need to get it over with and release one of them so that its not unfair to them. (It probably already is) If i stay, its because of pity. I don't wan tto make the same mistake. Is there happiness after remarrying and is it worth the cost?Of course,we love our kid very dearly and if a seperation is to proceed, we will work together for the kids good. your thoughts pl

We have gone through counselling for about 2 months. Have counted all the consequences but still muddled. We've talked a bit. she knows about my feelings for her. She also knows that i'm on good terms with this person, though she is a little insecure about it(which i don't blame her). Probably will stay single for a little while first before anything if i so choose that path. We had rough times and problem was that it didn't get resolved and it was all swept under d carpet for 3 to 4 years. During that time, communication was affected badly and we just lost out on each other. She has recently improved in a sense and we did talk a bit more, but the feelings are gone and we are both miserable now as i cannot give her my best and likewise. Just feel very very torn because of the kid. I do not want to leave it unresolved as well. that will lead to more bitterness in future as what blazegirl said. thanks for all your feedback. i want to be happy, but both decisions bring both... sigh...

Answer 1

Don't cheat on your wife! If you do not love her any more let her know and get a divorce. Then you will still have to be around your Ex wife at times because of your child. Don't make matters any worse then they have to be. The next relationship may work out and then it may not.

Answer 2

This is unfair on your wife! Every marriage go through rough time but you shouldn't jump out just because there is another women on the side. Before you make a big move you should give your marriage another try. Get counseling first. You also need to count the consequences before you jump out there. Right now you and the other lady are in tune with each other but what happens whenever your kids start coming around? Will yall still be in tune. I really feel for your wife. Does she have any ideal?

At same time you deserve to be happy. But remember to always do things right.

Answer 3

Personally I feel that you should really have a talk with your spouse to work something that benefit the kid most. If both of you divorce, the one that get hurt most is the kid. At the same time you must be fair to both the ladies where you need to decide who you want to be with and not hang on to someone where you stay with her is just out of pity. I think you should have an answer in your mind at this moment but you don't know if the decision is right , so I suggest you should think carefully.

Answer 4

i am in this sort of situation, but you have to tell your wife that you are unhappy with her. I know that you don't want to bc of the child. but it is best for the child to see you happy than miserable with mommie. the more you drag it out, the worse it will be on the child. if you really feel this way about the other woman, i would first see how you react in being single. she could be just a way out for you. think it over before you make a decision and good luck.

Answer 5

Every relationship cm with risks, depend if u dare to take it or not. R u leaving ur wife becoz of 3rd party. If there is no 3rd party, will u go..Also r u very sure ur new love will stick with u..R u willing to risk the chances of Losing both side? Wat i suggest is look into ur marriage, if reali not workable, divorce n stay SINGLE for few years..dun jump into another relationship/commitment..Then plan again when u r ready.