Well, the question topic says most of it. I'm going through a divorce currently (my wife cheated) and met a woman whos husband cheated on her and now thier marriage is pretty much a failure too. They haven't separated or anything though. I know this whole thing sounds like a Springer show episode but she's too amazing just to walk away from.
Go ahead - pass judgement. Try to take it easy on me though. I'm wondering if anyone else out there has had a similar experience and how it went down. Basically looking for advice.
Thanks.
2006-12-14 17:18:01 · 26 answers · asked by derek985 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My advice is to hold it until she gets those divorce papers! Seriously.
2006-12-14 17:20:42 · answer #1 · answered by schaianne 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can't pass any judgment. Although I would advise that she seperate before you two start out being a couple. Both of you had spouses who cheated. It is best that the two of you do things by the book so that in time no one can point a finger at you and say you cheated also.
I wouldn't walk away from her, but please be sure she is out of the marriage before you get your hopes up . Some marriages make it through a cheat. You don't want a big heart break just after your current one.
Also make sure that you guys arn't each other's rebound person.
If the two of you are meant to be then I wish you well. There is no need to rush.
2006-12-14 17:27:22 · answer #2 · answered by clcalifornia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You both know what its like to be cheated on. Even if her marriage is practically over it isnt TECHNICALLY over so dont do anything yet!!! you two may really be the ones for eachother but dont rush it while shes still married, even if shes not married in her heart, because then the two of you will be no better than her husband and your wife. Wait for your divorces, then go for it!! Good luck!!
2006-12-14 17:53:38 · answer #3 · answered by Christines256 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two wrongs don't make a right. I would hold off and see if she gets a divorce, and then move forward with a relationship. If she doesn't divorce, then let it be. If a realtionship is meant between the two of you, then it will happen. You don't need any more problems than you already have, and you don't need to carry the guilt around that you had relations with a married woman, that wouldn't make you any better than your wife and what she did to you.
Thats my advice... Good Luck
2006-12-14 17:23:42 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been that woman, the one who's husband cheated. And I'll tell you, I met someone at work, it started very innocently and I was not looking. But our friendship grew. We had so much in common. And he was there for me for emotional support whereas my ex wasn't. I felt enormous amounts of guilt, but I knew that it was just a matter of time before my marriage was over. It made me feel good that I'd found this person to connect with. We saw each for awhile, but I broke it off. I did divorce my husband too. But I remained very close with this other guy. He turned out to be a great friend. I kind of view him as the catalyst for my divorce. He made me realize and gave me the strength to realize that I deserved someone who wasn't going to cheat. Who loved me and who was my best friend. I'd say for you, you might want to evaluate your situation very carefully. This might be a temporary band-aid for your emotions about your wife. Just follow your heart and take things slowly.
2006-12-14 17:27:37 · answer #5 · answered by ♥2323vsb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It takes time to truly recover from a failed marriage. Here is my advice: first, get your divorce done. That means everything finished legally. Then, take some time off from relationships. After you've spent at least 6 months being *legally* single, then you can start thinking about getting involved with this lady. IF she is also divorced.
2006-12-14 17:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by pamgissa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI!
this is my life. I was in the same situation. We celebrate 25 years f a wonderful marriage this year. It has had its ups and downs. i would not have moved so fast if i could have done it over. get to kjnow each other and adjust form the hurt you are going through. alot of baggage can cause alot heartache. good luck
2006-12-16 15:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by -------- 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope it works for you. In theory it would be a perfect match. But there is always that reality aspect to contend with. She may never break loose of her cheating husband. It is a quirk that some women have--they always want to prove to themselves that they were worthy and that is why the husband came back to them...sad but true.
See how it works out between you two, but be prepared for the worst. Sorry.
2006-12-14 17:23:17 · answer #8 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Understand how you feel, however you know what it feels like to be cheated on and so does she. Would you really want to put that onto the other fella? I know your happiness is important, but there is a ripple effect to your actions. What feels good now can change. And could you really trust someone who was cheating on her partner with you? wouldnt you wonder who was next?
2006-12-14 17:25:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember how it felt to have your wife cheat on you? This woman is not divorced. Do this right and do not see her until she is divorced, or you will be guilty of doing the same thing to her husband.
2006-12-14 17:21:10 · answer #10 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All is up to you.You know what is right to do; and what is wrong to do.But should be a big difference,if you get divorce legally,and after, find a woman without compromises,a free woman.Think well and good about it.That woman never is going to get divorce.Good question,good luck.
2006-12-14 17:31:58 · answer #11 · answered by cobrasnake 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋