Men, what are your views?

Question

Would you be angry if your wife had male friends? My husband is upset that all of my friends happen to be other men. Honestly I've never really related to other women and I've always been more comfortable around guys (He's known this). He seems to get jealous whenever I mention one in casual conversation and starts acting very possessive. Why is it okay to be freinds with other women and not men when I'm bisexual? If he was afraid that I was going to have an affair, it could just as easily be a woman.

By the way I've never cheated on him and wouldn't, he's the love of my life! And what's with all the dumb-*** rude comments about divorcing me? Sheesh you people need a life! It's just a question!

The only time I see my friends is for a couple hours a few times a week when I'm at the gym. Other than that, I have two little kids with me at all times. So I'm not actually going out and socializing. I'm home every night with my family.

Answer 1

you say you're home with him every night and the only time you see your male friends is at the gym? so what's the problem? if you're not going out and socializing with them or going to the bars with them, then i say your husband has no right to get jealous. i think he's more of a control freak. you should be able to have your friends and enjoy their company too. try inviting him when your with your friends, then he can see how innocent it is.

Answer 2

For some strange reason, a lot of men I talk to say that it would be a turn on for them if their wife of gf were to be with another woman. So that right there would explain why he would be jealous of another man but not of a woman. Personally, I think I'd be more jealous of another woman since that's something I just couldn't provide. But anyway...

Certainly, you must know and understand that men, for the most part, can't be "just friends". If you're "just friends" with a male, he will at some point be thinking about how to get into your pants. Sure, there are exceptions but we men pretty much know this about other men. So yeah, a woman who has a lot of "guy friends" is somebody to be watched.

I'm sure this type of thing varies from one couple to another and there are double standards.

But all that aside, it sounds to me like your relationship could use a little work. If you've got that much time for other men, I would wonder about your relationship with your husband. Think about why a man would marry you... Because he wants to spend time with you. Few guys want to marry a woman who spends time with other guys. Sure there are exceptions but as a general rule, I think you'll find that is true.

My wife does not have "guy friends" and I really like that about her. Maybe that wouldn't bother some guys... but I say we guys just know too much about what guys are like. Any man would wouldn't object to his wife having lots of "guy friends" is not paying much attention to the way things work -- or doesn't care if you go out on him.

At the same time, a possessive husband isn't a great thing. You two might benefit from some marriage counseling.

That's my opinion anyway. Focus on your husband if you want to have a good marriage.

Answer 3

He sounds like a jerk with low self esteem and trust issues. Was he not jealous before you were married? My lover who is male, says that he would happy that I had friends and since he trusts me it doesn't matter what gender they are.

Women get the same way too. Ever read all the questions about married men having so called 'emotional affairs' or talking to single women on the phone? Emotional affairs are silly. If your married husband was talking on the phone about his feelings with another man, would it be a homosexual emotional affair?

Answer 4

Sounds like he doesn't trust you. Maybe he's afraid he not making you happy?

Also sounds like he is denying your bi-sexual nature (ie, he's not afraid of another woman taking his place).

As for men vs women. My Mom used to say she could not stand women. All they did was make back-stabbing comments. That she only wanted men friends. Dad never had a problem with that.

That's my view. I'm 54, married last 20+ years to 1st wife (package deal - I also got 2 teenagers).

Answer 5

Me personally, since you are bi would be slightly jealous either way however, he probably thinks you with another chick may be a turn on, while you with another guy would be cheating, which is why your guy friends probably strike a chord with him. Although perhaps he's just not used to girls with a lot of guy friends. Whatever the case, try asking him, perhaps he could shed some light on this.

Answer 6

he has insecurity problems when it comes to other guys. some men get turned on by their woman with another woman but don't like another guy with their wife. i know it's kinda crazy sex with any other is cheating unless both agree that it's ok. whenever you involve others sexually into a relationship consentual or not it gets complicated sooner or later. so brace yourself , this won't be the last time you or he gets confussed or angry.

Answer 7

I wasn't at first because my wife is bi as well but when she got bored with me she started having fun with both sexes. I ended up leaving her because she had gotten serious with one of her lovers. You would be better off respecting your husbands wishes or just moving on.

Answer 8

That's his insecurity. If you have truly been faithful, he has to learn to deal with it. I am in the same boat with my wife. She doesn't my contact with my female friends, but if someone I work with is discussed too frequently, she gets jealous.

Answer 9

It is obvious that you have serious issues. He needs to just divorce you and be done with it. It sounds to me like you are a trifling person and can't be trusted either way. I will be praying for you. Peace and God bless.

Answer 10

How would you feel if all his friends were women? Do you trust him if all his friends were women. Have you done anything to have his trust in you shaken?