Ive lost my sex drive and need help finding it! SERIOUSLY, my hubby stopped initiating sex about 3 months ago

Question

And I dont think I should have to chase the love stick, its been exactly 3 months and now he all of a sudden wants to be sweet and touchy feely, and I think its too late he actually grosses me out. When I ask why he stopped in the first place he said it was because we were fighting alot, (so not true) but that seems to be his defense for everything.

if its me - why the hell is he bothering me for it now

Answer 1

maybe its because sex with you is boring. and thats not a smartass answer its just a suggestion.

Answer 2

I read all the answers you have received so far and I had to throw in my piece. First of all there is obviously more than each of you can handle. You both need a councelor individually and together. If you are both in it for the long hall you have to address many issues and you cant let it wait. Unfortunately I have been in your husbands position and it only gets worse. As you know both men and women dont see things the same way. I am not a religious person but if I could offer you some advise the catholic church has a weekend retreat that anyone can participate in. Some religious momments but really they get you both back to the where you where when you both met. Check it out. I hope the best for you both and with some hard work maybe things will be better than before. I wish I could help you more.

Answer 3

Well to be honest marrage is about love not sex. They take real work and they also take real people. You and he are going to have to get honest and real. A husband needs to date his wife and treat her like a lady first. A wife needs to respect her husband. Even after being married many years husbands and wifes have to face one real truth. Both will get hurt and both will at times shut the other one out. To avoid this you have to be frank and get to the point. Men are frank about things woman beat around the bush more and have a hard time expressing themself mostoften. The sad truth is both of you are affected by the world. Are you and he allowing the world to rob you of the pleasures of life such as one another. This may seem dumb when was the last time you both took off for a day trip just the two of you. Or when was the last time you and he went camping overnight somewere with out the TV and the kids. Marriage is a dance of affection and play. Are you and he forgetting the play part and the affection part. Have you been sweet in reguard to him. Does he know he is ticking you off in some way. The long term marriage will be based in good communications and knowing the other person well. Do you know what bothers your husband. Does he know what bothers you. As you can see it is work. But Good marriages are built. That is why so many marriages fall apart today. Just like a good bussiness is build by paying attention to the day to day operations of the bussiness. A marriage moreso. Sex is a tool in marriage to help the two people overcome the stresses of the world. A couples sex life is a reflection of the overall fitness of the marriage. From your statement yours is in the dog house right now. It seem to me your husband has made the first move trying to restore your marriage. In his thinking he may think you were fighting alot. If he came out of a home were there was fighting he may view fighting a little different then you. So keep in mind that men and woman view things different and both came from different back grounds growing up. If he was the product of a bad home then he will have issues about fighting. If you are not from such a rearing you will not have the same mental picture of fighting. Good luck and may you and he be blessed in your marriage.

Answer 4

i don't blame you if you don't want to chase the love stick, but let's get real here. i believe 3 months for a married couple is a long time to go without sex. i mean, even you, i wonder why unless you are physically repulsed by him, did you not try to initiate some sort of physical intimacy. if your husband is not hitting on you until recently, maybe he's getting it somewhere else. i don't mean to accuse him or you of anything, but find it curious as to how you could think your husband is gross, maybe he has caught on to your ice cold signals and is trying to warm you up. what ever the case, try to work things out, it is a marriage, it's not like you can break up with him just because he's a selfish lover. it's too late for that, you must take action if you want to save your marriage. go ahead and seduce him and see where it takes you. hopefully you will find out sooner, rather than later how you actually feel, and maybe he will remember what he his missing.

Answer 5

a decline in sex drive can be the result of several factors. stress being at the top of the list. has ur hubby been under a lot of stress during the past 3 months? second is cheating. lack of sex drive especially in men, with their spouses, usually pin-points cheating. also medication, is he on any that affects the sex drive.
why does he have to be the one always initiating sex? you should try initiating it sometime. it might excite you. also try to spice up ur sex-life a little bit. maybe a little dress up and role-play might jump start things up for you guys.
him grossing you out is not a good sign. how long have u guys been married? i was once grossed out in my previous relationship and that pretty much indicated the end of it. what is it about your husband that grosses you out? can it be fixed? is it worth it?

Answer 6

he's tremendously youthful to be having a "power" concern. countless factors would desire to be inflicting his lack ofcontinual. a million) melancholy is the biggest element. 2) stress / hardship - At artwork or over something that would looming contained sooner or later. 3) Physiological: coronary heart affliction, Diabetes, or discomfort spring to suggestions. He would sense undesirable all the time. 4) psychological he could be experiencing bi-polar ailment or another psychological concern. 5) religious themes is often affecting him. 6) Alcohol and medicines incredibly depresscontinual incredibly then enhance it. on the top of the day, except there's a physiological / psychological / emotional he ought to proceed to be "involved" nicely into his 80's. you ought to the two get some counseling. there is not any longer something incorrect with that. whilst my spouse and that i've got been newlyweds we've been given some super counseling during the 1st 6 years of our marriage and it incredibly helped plenty. Getting a good marriage counselor alongside with a minister or rabbi who's additionally qualified as a marriage counselor will pass an prolonged way. additionally, do no longer provide up on him. that's the toughest yet maximum worthwhile component to love. Staying truthful and actively in contact on your relationship for the duration of adversity builds the character of your relationship and solidifies it. a super type of little ones immediately are no longer prepared to bear whilst the going gets annoying in marriage and consequently they leave. the disadvantage of it incredibly is they under no circumstances study a thank you to bear in love. some years from now the tables could be became and you will anticipate comprehend-how from him collectively as you artwork by using some complicated themes. organising a channel now for working by using issues will make you greater resilient whilst the bigger themes of existence come your way ... and confident there are lots of larger themes.

Answer 7

DID you ever think that Maybe he is/was with someone else that is why he stopped touching you.

Your sex drive to be revived between the both of you is going to take the both of you not just you. Plenty of talking and researching together. We constantly are changing just like technology so we have to keep on top of our relationship. The reason it was so good in the beginning it is because we were giving so much attention to it. So we can not give up if we want to keep it.

Answer 8

Hi Cvegas, I don't want to be rude, but i think your love stick has been sticking his love somewhere else,and has finally gotten dropped from his little dirty scret. No way a man is going to go without sex for 3 months. NO WAY IN HELL. If he grosses you out sweetie,it's time to kick his cheating A S S TO THE CURB.Been there,and done that. A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 9

this could end your marriage,if you are fairly certain he was not dipping in the forbidden well those last three months do this and it may help you get back that desire. when it is just you and him alone ,turn off the phone and tell him your want a complete body message but you don't want him to touch you in those special places,leave on those sexy panties.both of you should have a couple of glasses of wine before and durning this message.turn down the lights and light some candles,if he is smart he will know what to do and when to do it . he should have you wanting in about 30 to 45 minutes.

Answer 10

Sex drive is as much emotional as it is physical/physiological.
If the relationship is strained, you may not feel up to "it" with your husband. So, getting the relationship back to normal might help.
If you are under stress because of work or family, learn to relax and the best way to relax is sex!!!
If it has something to do with the man's libido, a lot of medical help is available today.
If its your libido, check if your hormones are ok. If everything is ok, may be simple stimulation using your imagination might help.

Answer 11

I'm the same way as your husband and my wife has the same problems we also fight allot but our fights usually initiate the sex
if i were you i would try doing things sexually that you would not normally do to spice things up my wife does that once in a while and it helps allot gets me more motivated to see what else she will do. I'm not saying that you gotta be nasty about it but ya
and the cuddly stuff should be appreciated my wife hates it too but she has been more tolerable lately makes me feel good
well i hope i helped some
almost forgot porn works wonders as well