If you are dating someone seriously for 2 years how long do you wait for a proposal? I say as long as it takes but my friend is thinking of breaking it off with him or giving him an ultimatium. They live together, and have since about a month into the relationship. They have no kids, have as close to a perfect relationship as you can get. She wants marriage. They both acknowledge that they'll be married. How long should she wait.
2006-12-14 16:41:10 · 15 answers · asked by ricksgrl2005 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This would be the 2nd marriage for both. They are 27 and 29.
2006-12-14 16:53:02 · update #1
My mother told me at about two years you need to start asking where the relationship is going.
2006-12-14 16:47:59 · answer #1 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend may have made a big mistake by moving in with him. Let me fill you in with how guys think. There is an old saying that goes " Why by the cow when you can get the milk for free." Your friend is providing her boyfriend with all the benefits of being married without the committment. He has it made. What more could a guy ask for? What on earth is there that could possibly motivate him to want to marry her. Unfortunately your friend is not alone. Millions of people make the same mistake. I know a couple that have been living together for over thirty years with the speculation that they would be married. Guess what. To this day they are still not married. Seeing that they are now both in their sixties it is a good chance it will never happens. Your friend and her boyfriend need to have a serious heart to heart discussion in regard to the direction of their relationship. Love and marriage is something you really can't put a time table on and ultimatums never work. Personally, I believe that people should get married because of their genuine love for one another and by free will. When true love is involved ultimatums are never needed. I will be praying for your friend and her relationship. Peace and God bless.
2006-12-15 00:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by cave man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should just come right out and tell him that she wants to get married. It's worked for many people I know and even my mother has acknowledged that she put pressure on my father to propose.
In the book "Why Men Marry Some Women and Not Others" the author pointed out a study of couples coming out of marriage license bureaus where most couples said that the woman pressured the man to get married and that until the women said they wanted to get married, marriage was just a passing thought for the guys.
2006-12-15 00:58:50 · answer #3 · answered by CAITLIN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You gotta watch with this kind of stuff because it can ruin a perfectly good relationship. She has to figure out if she wants marriage or if she wants to be married to him. Its tough to figure out when you're young and its a first marriage. Some girls want to get married for reasons that aren't right. Make sure her reasons are right before she proceeds.
If she just wants the wedding/ring/marriage, she may need to march off and find someone else. She needs to clam up and be happy with what she has or she could lose it.
Oh, remind her that marriage is a freaking nightmare that will likely ruin her emotionally and financially. First marriages are usually mistakes.
2006-12-15 00:49:08 · answer #4 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage does not equate to commitment and you'd think after a first marriage she would have learned that. If he's already commited to her and she to him, what's the point in marrying or not marrying legally? A party? Legal status? If there is no commitment, then she might as well break it off with him, if commitment is what she desires.
2006-12-15 01:09:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say she should propose to him. Just be ready to make a decision based on his answer either way. If he says no, and she still want to live together, no more marriage talk out of her mouth.
It just makes no sense to give an ultimatum concerning marriage, one of the most important decisions made in a lifetime.
2006-12-15 00:51:32 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on age.. I'd say in the teens/ early 20's they need roughly 4 years of getting to know eachother perfectly (living together, etc), In their late 20's to 30's give it 3 years, And in the 40's maybe give it 2 years... (Judging by the youngest ones age)
2006-12-15 00:48:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if she lives with him, why should he marry her? She needs to move out and start dating other guys to see if he is really serious. It is easy for couples to get into the perpetual living together thing and guys love it because they can take off any time they want.
2006-12-15 00:47:39 · answer #8 · answered by reallyfedup 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
marriage is a sham and a piece of worthless paper.if they have a perfect relationship why is she worried
2006-12-15 00:45:08 · answer #9 · answered by kelly r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well first, he prolly wants it to take her by suprise so tell her not to worry, number 2 discuss it with the guy
if she really loves him doesnt matter how long she has to wait, because it should be worth it
2006-12-15 00:45:40 · answer #10 · answered by beth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋