I need help thinking of funny joke reasons to join the Democratic Party
Ex:
If you are a victum that feels that life is unfair and that everyone else owes you something...then it's the party for you.
If you've given up on America...then it's the party for you
2006-12-14 16:03:05 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Politics
I don't have any reason to join the Democratic Party, I'm a Republican and happy to be one, I voted for Bill Clinton and also for Al Gore, so I stay in my party..☺
2006-12-14 16:06:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Q: Why should Democrats be buried 100 feet deep?
A: Because deep down, they're really good people.
Q: How can you tell there's an afterlife for Democrats?
A: Because after they die, they lie still.
Q: What happens when you cross a pig with a Democrat?
A: Nothing. There are some things a pig won't do.
A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/oz
Philosophers' Brains $12/oz
Scientists' Brains $15/oz
Republicans' Brains $19/oz
Democrats' Brains $2,000/oz
Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those Democrats' brains must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you have any idea how many Democrats you have to kill to get a ounce of brains?!"
Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.
They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government grant.
Q: Why is Janet Reno better than the Secret Service?
A: Because there are some things the Secret Service won't do to protect the President!
Q: What do you get when you cross a pilgrim with a democrat?
A: A god-fearing tax collector who gives thanks for what other people have.
Q: What do you get when you cross a bad politician with a lawyer?
A: Chelsea.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a catfish?
A: One is an ugly, scum sucking bottom-feeder and the other is a fish.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat politician and a leech?
A: A leech quits sucking your blood after you die.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a vampire?
A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat on a Harley and a vacuum cleaner?
A: The vacuum has the dirt bag on the inside.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead Democrat in the road?
A: Vultures will eat the skunk.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a prostitute?
A: The prostitute give value for the money she takes.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a bucket of cow manure?
A: The bucket.
Q: What's the difference between a Democrat and a trampoline?
A: You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
Q: What do Democrats and a screwdriver have in common?
A: They both screw things.
Q: What's the difference between Democrats and Socialism?
A: He uses the phrase Social Entitlements instead.
Two opposing county chairman were sharing a rare moment together. The Democratic chairman said, "I never pass up a chance to promote the party. For example, whenever I take a cab, I give the driver a sizable tip and say, 'Vote Democratic.'"
His opponent said, "I have a better scheme, and it doesn't cost me a nickel. I don't give any tip at all. And when I leave, I also say, 'Vote Democratic.'"
"John Edwards is a seasoned trial lawyer. You think a lawyer would make a good president? You know I look at it this way, if we're going to consistently have liars in the White House, why not get a professional?" —Jay Leno
"Howard Dean ended his campaign for president this week, but so far he has refused to endorse another candidate. As a result Dean received thank you notes from both John Kerry and John Edwards." —Conan O'Brien
"Bush said the unemployment situation is turning around. Last week alone, 5,000 people started working for John Kerry." —Craig Kilborn
2006-12-15 00:39:51 · answer #2 · answered by jay r 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
If you would rather see the terrorists win this war than a Republican President - you are a Democrat.
If you think blow jobs given to a married President by an intern under a desk in the Oval Office of the White House is acceptable - you are a Democrat.
2006-12-15 00:13:37 · answer #3 · answered by HELLBENT 2 · 6⤊ 1⤋
I can think of a few reasons........
1) i give up, the country and its people can take a hike, i don't care anymore
or
2) I want a goverment that wants to kill babies, let gays get hitched thus destroying true family values, legalize pot,gambling everywhere (sorry but I am from Pa. we have dem gov who legalized casinos)
3)I think the hollywood stars are exactly right all of time, whoppi for president
4)I love the true integrity of Michael Moore's great movies
5)Ted Kennedy is my hero, anyone who can get away with murder
6)lies, lies, lies who cares about truth, lets just get elected
7)Howard Dean has a great therapist, I want to meet him so I can get his name and number
8)It must be the best party, they have Al Gore
9)It must be the best party, they have Jesse Jackson(in the pocket) can you spell oreo.
10)gun control
2006-12-15 00:20:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me that the republicans always totally f*** the economy, and usually send us to wars that ain't none of our business. Are you saying that W was right?? Were's the weapons of mass destruction? Saddam has been sentenced to hang for his crimes, but are we doing a better job of keeping Iraq under control? I don't think so. I can understand Afghanistan, but the only reason we invaded Iraq is because Saddam was talking sh!t. And look where it's got us. To hell with the GOP. I've given up on america, but in 2008 I will find new hope. Look who now controls the house and the senate, you silly elephant ***.
2006-12-15 00:28:54 · answer #5 · answered by severedhead15 3 · 2⤊ 3⤋
How to decide which party to belong too!!!
It depends on how you like your sex!!
With the democrats you know it's coming!! Taxes. So that's taking it in the front!
With the republicans you don't know it's coming So that's taking it the back door! TAXES however they will stick it to you in your electric bill. They will stick it to you on your phone bills.
Sad but true.
2006-12-15 00:15:52 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The primary reason to join the Democratic Party? Well...let me see...hum the Republican Party. Just take one look and The Dems look really good
2006-12-15 00:09:25 · answer #7 · answered by copestir 7 · 3⤊ 4⤋
If you would destroy the country because you hate Bush.... then the Democrat party is for you!
2006-12-15 00:08:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you hate freedom and love dictators...then it's the party for you.
2006-12-15 00:14:46 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
If you are lazy and want everthing handed to you through government programs.If you want to negotiate with our sworn enemies.If you just dont like George Bush.If you can ***** about everything with no answers for what you are bitching about.Join up!!!!!!
2006-12-15 00:10:03 · answer #10 · answered by Mr Bellows 5 · 6⤊ 1⤋