Having Personal Philosophy Issues -- Anger Directed Towards Sexual Promiscuity?

Question

I'm having some problems coming to terms with humanity in general, especially the moral character of the majority of fellow Americans out there, and the media's portrayals and all that. It seems like our society equates fulfillment, and true love with sex. I do not agree with this. I'm age 19, who grew up in elementary/middle school a bit sheltered, but since then, I've attended normal high school and am in my second year of university schooling.

I'm finding that I'm harboring very angry and somewhat self-righteous feelings against promiscuous people -- as if I'm better than them (who refuses to have sex until marriage). I'm angry at society which does not recognize platonic love, but sexual love in everything... Which is where I believe many homosexuals get their sexuality confused, but that's my opinion. They're feeling platonic love, not sexual love, but it's confusing.

How do you suggest I work through these feelings?

I find that I'm disgusted with the majority of other people, who seem to live hedonistic lives and are self-absorbed, with this "Me first" attitude prevailing in our culture. The whole idea of "me first" also gets me upset. My best friend, who I met in college, also feels this same way, and I'm hoping to be able to get some answers for the both of us.

I don't feel like this disgust toward other humans is natural. In fact, I feel like my Catholic upbringing is alerting me to the fact that it's blatantly wrong -- that I should not feel better than anyone else.

I always try to live my life thinking of others first, but I'm having an issue with this philosophy now for the reasons stated above.

Answer 1

I can well relate to your feelings of anger and your feelings of contempt for a society that truly does uphold the wrong values when relating to love. Our society inundates all of us through the media with images of raw sexuality that really have very little if anything to do with love. Everywhere a person in the US looks, one is crowded with images of raw youth, sex and hedonism. None of this has to do with true, mature and respectful love.

I would suggest that you consider volunteering for or working with those who are less fortunate than yourself. I suggest this because this same process has worked very well with my own attitudes. Years ago I had the same feelings of anger and contempt for our misanthropic and misogynistic society when I went to work with the disabled. Working now for over 10 years with these precious angels has given me the ability to soften my own attitudes for the average human populace who relish the raw and impolite sexuality that the media inundates us with. Working with these precious disabled folks has made me feel humbled and honored to be in the presence of persons whom I believe the Universe has placed in my path to teach ME how to be a better person. The actions of the average citizen now are unimportant to me....I can discount their immorality and vulgarity as trivial...I have true ANGELS that I can be with daily.

Help the disabled, help animals or help those with terminal illnesses. Being with these loving beings will truly help you feel less anger for the average citizen. You will NEVER be able to change the behavior of these immoral people...you WILL be able to help yourself by helping others. Good luck, dear.

Answer 2

People have different morals and ethics. That's what is amazing about the human race...we are all relatively the same, but we each have our own identity (morals, beliefs, personalities, fears etc). Our ideals about sex and love come from a largely sociological source; which is where I assume your question stems. Americans, as a culture, are promiscuous and focus heavily on sexual love. It’s very true, and one can easily see where your frustration comes from.

There is also a major issue you seem to have left out; biology. Some people are biological predetermined to be more sexual than others. These people, who seem promiscuous to you, may be curtailing their sexual desires to their best abilities. One should not ever assume that they are just being totally immoral or selfish. There are also many people who have personal issues that they could be acting out sexually, as this is the only source of relief. These people too should not be considered putrid or immoral, as they are only self medicating, and EVERYONE does this in one fashion or another.


There will be only a small few people who see the world with your eyes. Everyone else has their own version of what is right or wrong, and their ideals (in my opinion) should be considered before passing judgment.

I too equate fulfillment and true love with sex. If I were in a relationship and not being sexually satisfied I couldn’t truly be in love with the individual, because I wouldn’t be happy. Sex is a major component to a happy and healthy marriage.

Hopefully, I hit something right!

Answer 3

Yeah the point is if they are not harming others it's not really a problem. You don't like it, don't do it. Sigh! I understand what you feel.

I hate the marketing of women's bodies as objects of desire (as seen on TV and commenrcials). I hate that kind of vanity and classify it as stupidity. Also, I hate it if people become disloyal to others -- I think a major cause of spread of AIDS is this excessive interest in sex as opposed to love and loyalty. I also believe if fewer people spend time looking at and craving for a woman's body, there will be less forced sex and rapes. But I know a lot of "normal" people put sex above everything else and label me as "self-righteous". The idea is to never question or believe any different than the society even if you see this as irrational and illogical. If you want to be percieved as normal, you must believe as everyone else does. Or else you are a crazed, self-righteous fool.
I believe in platonic love too. I love a hell lot of people whom I couldn't dream of having sex with. It's a feeling of great respect and good-will. I worship (figuratively of course) the minds of some people I have never met as they fill me up with wonder. most "normal" folks can't see beyond skin and toned body and yes, this is very abnormal. I also have a feeling that if platonic love preceeds and exceeds sexual love in a marriage (or something equivalent), we'd have a strong couple who'd stick together through thick and thin. But it's labelled idealism, because it would require a lot of patience to find partners like that -- it would involve a lot of waiting -- something this world characterized by "instant gratification" looks down upon. You got to sleep with the first "5% match found" person or else you get labelled a homosexual, nun or worse "self-righteous". So I don't want to live with an utter idiot who thinks like a clone -- I can't live with a person who's not "original and imaginative", is that a crime? Probably, afterall, it's a world of fast food and two-minute noodles. Who wants a good, mature, relationship when you can get hot sex for one night?
(As an aside, I think if we focus more on this "best match partner" idea, we will probably get a better generation of people eugenically.)

So keep shut about the excessive show of skin on TV (at least this happens a lot on TV and movies where I live) and just let everyone do whatever they want. You are the one who is "self-righteous, crazed" and what not.

Don't bother so much about others and you'll get over your disgust. Yes, it's not right and you know better, but you are mature in your outlook, while others may still be very immature. They are still in the process of growing up, that is why they are so into "labelling" and stuff -- almost like the teenagers. Age has nothing to do with maturity -- it's how many of the life's challenges you were put through and how you changed yourself to meet them. Some people at 50 have easier lives than someone who has lived for only twenty years. After all, if you have never been to a perticular class in the school of life, you can't know of what was taught there even if you are 60 years old. So, if people are immature, you can't help it. maybe they figure it out when they grow up , meanwhile just let them say "you are sexually frustrated cuz you are not getting any." Just say "ok" and be done with it. That's the right thing to do anyway. :)

Answer 4

I think many people go through a similar phase. I was a pompous a** when I went to college. I made great friends and took some philo, anthro, and psych classes and became more centered.

I think you have issues more basic than those mentioned, but you might want to take a broader look at what sex is. It's not dirty, it's not evil. Humans have been having sex for thousands of years. Humans mature sexually at certain ages for a biological reason. Modern society tries to tell us that sex at that age (13 or so) is wrong and maintains that until one is married or in their 20's. It's not really "wrong", it's just somewhat dangerous and can cause your plans to get sidetracked if you aren't careful.

But sex, in and of itself, is not wrong. Think about it.

Answer 5

chill out. Perhaps you are sexually frustrated.

People who are promiscuous are dealing with their own problems (looking for love in all the wrong places.) It doesn't make them low class, it makes them troubled. But you have your choices and they have their choices. You are only harming yourself by being obsessed with other people's behavior. It truly is none of your business just as your choices are none of their's. Live the life you feel comfortable with and do not judge others. Judge not lest ye be judged.

You seem so angry, hope this helps.

Answer 6

what we see on the media is not real life. I, too, fall victim into thinking that everyone is sleeping around and that I have to look like a movie star to be accepted and attractive. Then I go to Walmart and see real life. People work , shop, etc. and are fat, ugly, and regular juist trying to survive. The media is the curse, not people. Go with your values. You will attract others with the same values!

Answer 7

what is best for you... you cannot force on everyone else.

There are many many many promiscuous people out there, are you going to get mad at every single one of them? (this is me gently joking here) The answer is you can't, otherwhise you're going to be stuck in this sucky perpetual state of anger.

relax, have a clear set of personal beliefs, and let anyone you're in a relationship with know your beliefs. I think that people will respect it.