My husband?

Question

I am feeling really lonely coz my family lives 5 hours away, and we live in a pretty rural area, and not having a liscence I dont really get to see my friends unless he drives me. The baby is due in 3 months and I know that after that I wont be able to leave without packing a million things, I asked him to take me out to our friends house tonight coz i am feeling lonely and he said no he was too tired, but then 5 minutes later told me that he was going to another friends house, that i dont get along with. So I am stuck here by myself. I tried telliong him why I was upset, but he told me I was whinging and left. How do I talk to him about it when he wont listen

The reason I dont have my license is coz I got it suspended, I wont get it back for about 4 more months.

Answer 1

Well, have a chat with your husband on this issue, share your feelings...... do it when he is in a mood for talking, like after meals, before sleeping, etc.
Avoid times like when he just got back from work, like watch his favourite TV show, etc.

If financially OK, invest in Web cam for you and your family (assume your family has Internet access as well).

Busy yourself, like planning your activities daily. Call your friends and family. Take more walks. Reading more books.

Congratulations on being a mother.

Answer 2

My friend, there are many possible things going on. Some men get very afraid when a baby is due and wonder about checking out of the relationship because they don`t feel ready to be dads. Others are a bit immature and worry about the baby taking away from their `rights`and they are bothered by the change in one`s sex life.

How was your relationship before you got pregnant ? Do you think that you could talk with him about how HE feels about the baby coming? If he can talk a bit about that then he may open up a bout other things. Don`t feel odd as this has happened in lots of relationships. Yes, you can feel abandoned and that stinks! Nevertheless, someone has to be the mature one at this moment and it sounds like you`ve been elected. Hang in there and find out what will turn him on about the pregnancy and the baby coming. God Bless...

Answer 3

Communication is a must in any relationship, i don't know the story completely from all sides. but Don't let life take you by the horns. Stand up for yourself and say OK i know he has allot on his mind with the baby coming. But also don't let people walk all over you. NO ONE is any-ones property. But for now here is my advice. Give the other person pace for now. don't ignore them completely and don't be mean to them when you ask them that you need time to chat about whats important. Your a person and you have feelings. But do stand up for-yourself and say that you need your time as well but you need time together. A friend of mine in Florida had the same problem as you, she found that all couples go through this in some way. she found the best thing to do is get involved in some activity a mom's club or become a baby sitter. something to keep you busy through the day. you should depend on or put all the burden of being bored on one person. only you can make you happy. and once you find something that you can do to keep your mind off things. you will notice things will become easier and more peaceful between you two. I know it sounds like I'm takings sides but I'm not. Life isn't easy everyone needs to find the little things in life that gets them going. and best of luck on the baby.

Answer 4

When a woman is pregnant everything that happens is more intense. There is a sharp edge to everything. You might be a little too sensitive or reading things into situations that aren't there because your hormones are raging. As for your man, the bigger a woman gets in pregnancy and the more "real: it becomes to him, especially if it is a first child, it becomes terrifying. He thinks, "What if I lose my job? Will I be a good father?" Men don't talk about it but it is very scary for them, too. He probably only needs a little reality break to take the pressure off (all self-inflicted). Let him have his time. Be understanding. He will eventually see what you are doing and do something nice for you.

Answer 5

Invite your friends and family members to your house. There is no reason he couldnt drop you off at one of your friends while he visits another friend.

You could always see if one of your friends could pick you up and go out for awhile even if it was just for lunch :) If you really want to get his goat go with him to his friends even tho you may not like that person and he will get the hint that you need to get out sometimes as well.

I would definitly get your license as soon as possible. Keep in touch with your friends and family even if it is emails or by mail. Don not let him exclude the people you love from your life cause this could cause more problems down the line. good luck.

Answer 6

Ah girl, you have it all wrong! You chose the wrong guy, in the first place. Sorry about hat!
But talking TO a guy is the wrong tactic. You have to learn to talk WITH him ( the latter is two -way conversation, where YOU listen for a while.
He's been telling you something, and you haven't been paying attention. He's top dog now. He has you pregnant and isolated, and he can pretty much do with you what he wants to, and you have no one to come to your aid.
If I were you, I'd call some agency to come take me out of there before things get really ugly!

Answer 7

first thing go get your license and find a cheap/reliable car for yourself. You should not have to rely on him to get anywhere.
Also until you can arrange that have your friends come over to see you or pick you up for a night on the town.

As for him wait till you are both relaxed and try talking in a calm reasonable way about how you feel and ask him his reasons/thoughts about the way things are. Hopefully you can work out a compromise

Answer 8

It sounds like he didn't want to visit with your friend, not that he was too tired to go anywhere. Obviously. You could have asked him to drop you of at your friend's house on the way to his. I don't know why he won't talk with you, but you need to learn to drive. Then save up for your own car. Otherwise, you're really stuck where you are.

Answer 9

Next time he wants sex just tell him to go see his friends. Ask him to sit down wiht ypu and stop taking advantage of you.

He sounds like something you could do without. Besides you need your liscnese, and your own car.
After the child if you stay with him you need to get your liscense, and a job, and car and be independent of him.
He's thinking of you as a child he can control. Dont'; take it.
But you have to have an income as soon as possible and a car:)

best of luck

Answer 10

Why don't you get your license?

if he was too tired to take you to your friends, he shouldn't have been not too tired to go to his.

Can't your friends come to your house? And his?

Check the way that you speak with him also - I know that when you're emotional ( I've had 4 babies - so I've been there) sometimes you sound whiny even though that's not what you are trying to be....