I've noticed a number of questions posted by teenagers that seem to know little about sex education..?

Question

And it really saddens me to hear about these young people making decisions that they are not educated about. As a Christian who made some really stupid decisions as a teenager, I really support abstinence. There are so many emotional and physical risks. But in reality, not everyone is going to abstain. I'm interested to know other's opinions about helping teenagers smarten up when it comes to sex. We have so many teenagers getting pregnant and getting STDs. I really think they get in over their head before they know what they're doing. Do you support abstinence or sex education? What means would you use to spread your beliefs? I'm not looking for a debate or to criticize other's opinions, it just really hit me tonight how many young people we have who are sexually active that aren't at all educated about the risks they are taking. All serious answers are welcome.

Answer 1

I agree that abstinence is the way to go as well. And I too have made some mistakes in my teenage years, which weren't too long ago.

We know how hard it is to try and abstain from sexual activity for younger people in today's oversexed society. But I know that God says for us to 1) Have hope and 2) Reach everyone you can. God bless you because just in posting this question, a teenager may cross over this question, read what you wrote, and be blessed.

We can do way more in the spirit than in the flesh. Prayer comes first, and then just supporting abstinence with the teens that come on here (meaning, make sure that you mention abstinence in any answers that you give) and then I found that workingthrough a church, to reach out to at-risk communities where sex education is at a minimum, can help not only increase their awareness of the consequences of sex, but also encourage a relationship with God.

But as I said, above all, prayer is what really works. For this new generation of young people and for the world we live in.

Answer 2

Why can't I support abstinence *and* sex education?

It's great to tell teenagers they don't have to have sex. Really, it is. And that's what will keep them safest. Go ahead and let them make virginity pledges, tell them the benefits, and whatnot.

But the truth is, that doesn't work by itself. Most of those kids are going to end up having sex anyway. Give them information about birth control, STDs, pregnancy, EVERYTHING they need to know. The female reproductive cycle. Birth control methods. Everything. Even the boys.

And I think valuing both is better in the long run, because someday those teens who chose abstinence WILL be having sex. Whether it's two days or two decades later. And that's when we get the questions from 20-somethings who don't know squat about STDs, or think 'every woman ovulates 14 days after her period'.

We have to offer both. Offer information about birth control, reproduction, and diseases. Answer all their questions. And then tell them it's OK if they don't have sex. Not everybody does. Answer their questions about abstinence, too, and ESPECIALLY tell them HOW TO DECIDE WHEN THEY'RE READY.

I don't know how I would spread my beliefs. Answering questions here from teens who have no clue what the lower half of their bodies are for. Telling my friends, who have kids now, that they should make it clear from a young age that birth control is available. Handing out condoms at the prom. Picking up my younger sisters' friends when they drink too much and end up with strange guys who are trying to take advantage of them. And calling the police when they tell me I got there too late. Driving them to Planned Parenthood the next day because the only hospital here is Catholic, and won't give anyone EC unless they can 'prove' it was rape. Things like that. That's all I can do.

Answer 3

I have 3 kids, so eventually ill go thru this, but Bush's administtration to "push for abstinence" until the age of 29 is SO stupid. Kids will do what they do. They need to be educated on safe sex, the use of condoms and contraceptives. Bush can adopt the thousands of unplanned/unwanted pregnancies if we wants with all his oil money. Some lady in chicago abondoned a new born a few months ago on top of a dumpster and the baby finally died the other day here in Chicago. How can anyone say that teching that girl and the idiot guy who she fooled around with to use a condom and make them more available is a bad thing\? People have sex, hands down, ignoring that fact is wrong, and dangerous. They need to be educated as to the consequences (stds, lo self esteem for girls, and pregnancies),and that these can be avoided pretty easily with education and availabilty of resources. I was 16 when i lost my virginity, and no classes would have stopped me from doing that, but condoms would have been good (I was lucky for years)

Answer 4

Great point...I have noticed the same thing. Its really pretty scary. I support abstinence, but we have a real problem in our society. If you have noticed young people seem to want to grow up earlier and earlier, but really are not maturing as quickly as they were 50 years ago. 50 years ago, most 18 year olds were ready to be adults. I always think about all the older people I know who were working and raising a family at a very young age. Now, it seems that the new 18 is 23 or 24. Most 18 to 20 year olds may be into sex, drinking and drugs, but they seem to have very little understanding of serious issues and life realities. Of course, many do and I don't mean those (before someone gets ticked off). Also, we live in a very permissive society...not just for kids, but for all ages. In this society, I am not sure it is realistic to expect abstinence for a very long period. Given that, I think sex ed is almost a must. I try to think of my children...they haven't reached that age yet....and I don't know what to do. My hope is that they wait as long as possible. I have fond memories of the time when my relationships did not have to be sexual. Those relationships were alot less complicated than the ones I was involved in when I was older and sexually active.

Boys are infested with hormones....until you have been a teenage boy, its really hard to understand. I think they are internally wired to think about sex about 50 times a day. Women normally peak later...so their sex drives kick in as they get a little older. Therein probably lies our only hope. If I can't get my kids to abstain, then I at least hope that I can get them to make smart decisions about sex. If my daughter becomes active, I sincerely hope that it is because that is what she wants to do, not because she is trying to get some kind of attention. That is probably the saddest thing....I see so many young women who are desperate for attention and willing to go to any length to get it.

I know that I have rambled here, but this is a really tough one. I wish I had more hard and fast answers for myself.

Answer 5

I concur with all the 'abstinence is a nice concept, but it doesn't work out that way -- education is needed' answers. That, and that a solid education on the entire topic would make abstinence more likely.

Loads of kids have good BS detectors, too, so it can't be anything like what passed for drug education when I was a kid. A lot of it was clearly dishonest and intended to scare us, so we laughed at the entire thing. Going on and on about HIV, when so many people so clearly manage to have sex and not get infected, isn't going to scare too many kids off.

Reading the pregnancy section of Yahoo! Answers -- really thorough education on how one gets pregnant is clearly needed. And, how to avoid getting pregnant. (That teaching kids about birth control encourages them to have sex has been disproved repeatedly. And I think it's rather the opposite in a lot of cases.)

That said -- having been browsing this section for a little bit now, I'm inclined to worry that sex education isn't the only sort of education required.

A sad number of the kids here can barely spell or string a sentence together. Yet they're pretty shameless about active participation in a text-based medium.

Tell me those same kids are well-educated about sex, and not eager to particpate in same...

I -- not all _that_ old -- have no idea how these people are managing in school; they would've been in the 'special ed' classes, if getting those results, back when. I cringe at thinking about them as adults. And, yet, this sub-literacy doesn't seem to be shameful for them. It is not too unreasonable or difficult to extrapolate from that and figure similar ignorance and bravado is at work when they're with the opposite sex.

Well-educated people have more control over their destiny for some rather complex reasons that I find fascinating. Read "Random Family" (LeBlanc) for a sort of non-fiction soap opera of teen (and otherwise ill-advised) pregnancy, and a bit of a peek at how it happens. I still can't explain it, but people who feel they're in an underclass repeatedly make lousy decisions in part because they feel they're in an underclass. Education is the ticket out.

Re. "Do you support abstinence or sex education?" There is no contradiction in supporting both. That classes on the mechanics of reproduction are subject to controversy in the US (I have never heard of anything similar in Canada) strikes me as bizarre; it should be a basic part of the curriculum -- could there be a more fundamental biology lesson? The "if we tell kids about sex, they might have it, so let's not" idea has done disastrous things.

I would try not to use any methods to spread my _beliefs_. Just education -- which, ideally, would lead people to believe what I believe in the end.

By the by, kudos on a well-worded question; I'm happy to see it got so many good answers.

Answer 6

No matter what your beliefs are some kids are going to have sex. And even if they do not they are going to grow into adults who are going to have sex. Even if you don't believe married adults should use birth control, some of them are going to. And some of these married adults are going to want to get pregnant.

At some point in their lives they will need to know about reproductive health, contraception, and pregnancy. The earlier and the more often it is taught the better. It disgusts me the number of men and women who don't even know the basics about menstruation, ovulation, sperm production, pregnancy and birth. And women particularly need to be empowered as young girls. Girls need to be taught that their bodies are awesome and perfect, and that they are awesome... in the truest sense of the word.

Maybe then we would stop believing it when men tell us "It's ok honey, I'm sure I don't have an STD and you won't get pregnant" or "I'll stand by you" or "I'll change" when we know it isn't true.

Maybe then when a doctor comes near our vagina with a pair of scissors we will punch them and then charge them with attempted assault. We won't believe doctors when they tell us our bodies are defective and we can not breastfeed, because it is easier for them to tell us to use formula then to fix the problem. Or that our bodies just can't give birth, but really it is just because they want to go home and a c-section is faster. And maybe then the blood test for cervical cancer will get as much press as the one for prostate cancer.

It is a sad, sorry world we live in. And no matter how hard people argue to the contrary: knowledge is power. So teach abstinance, but teach everything else as well.

Answer 7

I have been feeling the same way. I support both actually. I woudl love it if kids knew how mcuh can ahppen when they start having sex. I think the parents are the problem though. Schools TRY to teach them, they learn it growing up usually. Most parents are just too shy or dont have the time for their kids. If parents woudl take an active role in teaching their children about sex and safe sex and abstinence then wed be better off.

Answer 8

I am in full support of sex education. Ignornace is not bliss. It's better to educate our youth on the consequences of sex, because whether or not you like it, they're going to do it regardless. Some people view sex education as telling kids how to have sex so they can do it whenever they want. Sex education is informing them on the consequences that can arise from sex and how to prevent them. It is not a free badge to go have sex. If a teenager is going to have sex, they're going to do it regardless of whether or not they've been taught about condoms or birth control. The only difference is whether or not they can be prepared to do such a thing.
Besides, last time I looked, teen pregnancy was higher in states where abstinance only education was the norm, rather than states where they had safe sex education.

Answer 9

You know I received sex education when I was in the 5th grade. So if you could imagine I was only 10 years old then. Well when receiving this education it made me more interested in it then prior to having this information. So i believe that sex education somewhat heightens the interest levels of sex. Also then again there were people having sex and becoming pregnant and they had no idea how it happened (like my stepmother for example). I thought how in the world could you have sex, become pregnant, and not even know how it happened. But my stepmother told me that nobody ever talked about it when she was young. Not even when she was in school, and she was 15 when she became pregnant. She was only in the 9th grade. But i think that it has become way out of control and more so than say 45 years ago. Pregnancy and out of wedlock come 2 in the same basket.

Answer 10

With the raging hormones amongst teens its imposible to only teach about absinence. Both should be taught. They should be taught that they should wait as long as possible. But make sure they are well prepared and educated in case it does happen. I don't want my daughter comming home pregnant or with an STD, and you can't chain them up in their room either. So teaching good morals and values is important. It is also important that teens know all the risks with sex and should be prepared.