My husband is always too tired to spend time with me. Has he lost interest in me?

Question

My husband and I have been married for over ten years and I feel that I marriage is not bad but it can be better. He's attention is always someone where is else like watching tv, working, or going other places. Whenever it comes to be romanic with me he always gives me the excuse of being tired or whenever he's at work he tells me he's too busy to talk. He never tell me that he loves me, hold me or kiss me. How am I suppose to feel about this. Does he love me or maybe I'm not attractive to him. What do you think.

Answer 1

I think a lot of times men assume "if it ain't broke, don't fix it" They don't think nearly as much about the health of marraige, or your feelings as we do about their's. My husband is a bit of a workaholic. He lets himself get burried in work from time to time and I start worrying if he is still interested in me. When that happens I just schedual a date. I tell him the baby is going to my mom's on friday and we are going out - end of story. While we are out I'll just mention that I've been missing him lately or something. He is usually surprised that I was worried. Your husband might be the same way. Just schedual a "date" for you two. I hope this helps!

Answer 2

You're at a very vulnerable point in married life. Ten Years. Your's is showing some typical wear from poor maintenance! You have to make a major effort to re-engage this man ( if he ever was engaged in the first place).

You need couples counseling, but he probably won't go for that. Then go, yourself. Get an objective opinion, and some advice on how to get a spark out of his engine.

If your husband has always been a man of few words, and is a 'man of the earth", then talking and feeling is "women's work", and he'll see little need for it and be bored by the thought that he has to do more than "show' how he feels.

Also, he's probably become totally bored in the bedroom with "ho-hum" sexual routines. It's become too much like work, and he does enough of that all day long. Some major spice is needed.

Answer 3

I can not say that I am telling you this from experience,because I am grateful that I have not had that problem in my marriage. With everything that you are telling us; it does seem as if he is possibly interested in someone else. I know that several peps are telling you to sit down and talk with him or go to counseling to have a licensed professional to tell you if he is faithful or not. Don't get me wrong- I am sure marriage counseling does work, however I think you should go to you church marriage ministry to allow them to help your marriage. I want to ask you a question; do you watch the television show Cheaters, if so I think you should go on-line to their website www.cheaters.com and ask them to investigate for you. Also look at yourself do you feel attractive, do you still think he is attractive, are you'll having any type of financial problems if so as the saying goes- first goes the finance then the romance. Try being romantic with him in different ways other than asking.... you be the aggressive one or when he comes home maybe you shouldn't make you life and time seem so boring do something different go somewhere allow him miss you for a few hours or so. But if your "women's intuition" is telling you something is going on you need to listen to it.

Answer 4

If you want to save your marriage, find out what he wants to happen NOW. It may be too late if someone else has chosen to do it first so they can resolve whatever it is that you haven't. Try to be more attentive when it comes to your showing him how much you miss what you two had in the emotional and sexual parts of your marriage. Set up a romantic dinner and have someone watch the kids if you have them so things can truly escalate from that point with a sexy outfit. If this doesn't work, then you need to pay really close attention to his actions because that would be a bad indication toward infidelity.

Answer 5

Whatever it may be, try approaching it differently. Dont call him at work, wait to see if he calls you. Buy tickets to a sporting event, something you know he likes and go with him, just the two of you and have a great time, show him your still the same beautiful, amazing woman you were when he met you. If he continues to act the same way towards you then you will have your answer to question. Good Luck, Hope things work out.

Answer 6

I have the same problem with my husband, and we haven't even hit the six month point yet. He blames his job, but I think there's more to it - only he gets crazy mad when I try to talk to him about it.

I've had to enlist some outside help - both from a counselor and a couple of very close friends - things are getting better, little by little - but we still have good and bad days.

Answer 7

Personal experience will tell me that he is cheating on you, he may even be in love with another woman. I know this because I did this to my wife. The same emotions your feeling my wife felt the same way. My suggestion to you is do like my wife did, hire a PI that's probably the only way you will know for sure. Save out marriage.

Answer 8

He does still love you! Guys are weird animals!

IMHO, depending on your ages, most of us (I'm a guy) go through something like this!

When we were together, I too, took my wife for granted in many ways! BIG mistake! We had an 'Intellectual' relationship more than a physical one.

Speak to him about your feelings AND/OR seek counceling together!

It takes 2 to make a relationship work! It takes 2 to find the answer as well!

IMHO,

The Ol' Sasquatch Ü

Answer 9

i think that your just looking too much into it...

well just to make you feel better.... 10 yrs is a LONG time to be with a person....and saying i love you is understood buy one another...and seeing the same person and doing the same thing over and over again all day every day gets old...why dont you spice things up a bit...put some makeup on and get dressed all pretty....go to fredricks of hollywood of victorias secret and get yourself a nice sexy nighty thing...and suprize him by geting a hotel room one weekend....and do thinks that will remind you of when you guys started going out...like some freeky deeky things....and if you dont have money for that...than do somthing stupid funny to make him laugh...like when your intimate with him...lol...color your hair cut it get a differnt wardrobe...girl come on make him know that your the same girl he fell in love with...and if you wanna get him to say i love you than you say it too...just dont expect it back..and dont ask for it back...or do things that he likes like watching a football game and "act" excited when you think there is a touch down...and never go for the same teem he goes for...ALWAYS go for the opposing teem it makes things more intresting..and bet on it...it can be money or "fun" favors or somthing simple as a kiss or somthing...just think outside of the box he is use to....and trust me he wont be tired...and girl DONT call him at work...thats not good...hes at work not with some hooker...trust him....and oneday he could get fierd...i know thats how it is at some places....so good luck

Answer 10

I guess it is his mistake and not you. I am experiencing the same problem. We have been married for 13 years. I don't know what can be done about it. I believe in God. I am praying hard to help me tolerate it. To add insult to injury, we are childless also, so that makes it even worse for me as I feel very lonely and unwanted.
Pray to God to make it alright.