hes 15 and lately hes been acting very diffrent. he used to wear baggy/hiphop type clothes but now he wears black tight fittining clothes, he always seems sad, hes grades r going down and i walked in on him making out with this other boy. but he claims tht he isnt gay/bi even when told him tht it was ok.
Is my son being emo and is thishim being gay/bi?
2006-12-14 14:23:45 · 30 answers · asked by James 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
it doesnt matter
2006-12-16 12:36:48 · answer #1 · answered by Christine B 2 · 5⤊ 13⤋
Your question is very disturbing. You WALKED IN ON HIM making out with this other boy. How uncaring this sounds, that you don t seem to know the other boy whom your son seems to have a close emotional attachment. At 15, I think he might expect some privacy. I would expect that of my parents. He may put an inside lock on the door, so he can change without being embarrassed to his core. Not having control of your environment, privacy etc wouldn t you feel you have not control over anything and my parents don t respect me at all. Why not be sad and not give a damn about school.
. Experimenting sexually at this age is common but doesn t make you bi nor gay. You never mentioned friends or other companionship like a girl or best guy friend. Loosing a friendship undermines self-esteem. Open a dialog without being judgmental , we fail to realize how little we really really talk to each other, showing the other person is truly listening to me . Don t back him into a verbal corner with yes no as only answers. Very few times did my parents say they loved me or loved each other. Might sound corny but those few words, I love you, are powerful & mean a lot to a teen when thing are not doing well. Signs of affection are encouraged for many kids who think they are alone.
2016-09-26 20:18:06 · answer #2 · answered by Monty W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to both, EMO is often related to some depression. His depression may be the result of his coming to terms with being gay.
I would suggest that you get him alone, somewhere that he is comfortable, free from all distractions (other kids, tv, computer etc) sit down and talk to him in a very relaxed voice. Ask him open ended questions, not yes and no questions. Let him talk at his own pace. Start out by telling him that you love him and support him but that you are concerned for his well being. Tell him that you are his father, that you will always be his father and that nothing can change that.
Hopefully he will open and talk to you. But remember sometimes it is hard to tell your parents certain things, regardless of how loving and understanding you are. If he does not open up do not pressure him. Remind him that you are always here for him and that you will make time when he is ready. Last thing, tell him again that you love him and that your love will never change.
You can open the door, he will need to come in. If he doesn't come in, leave the door open and address it again later.
Good luck, also did I mention hugs. Hugs are powerful!
2006-12-14 14:40:44 · answer #3 · answered by Tegarst 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Emo and Gay or not connected.
As you may have learned from above "Emo" is slang for acting/dressing in an EMOTIONAL way. It's a new style/genre that is very popular amoung teens and young people. From what I've learned it's very befitting of modern day teens, because it's about liveing by your emotions, which in teens can be pretty dreary sometimes. Emo *can* also lead to poor decision makeing because of the 'live by your emotions, not logic' ideal.
As for the gay question. I myself am not gay, and all I can reccomend is that you 'chill' and show him trust and love, this may be the only way that he may willingly share anything with you. This may sound really weird but a good way to get people to trust you is to be 'sweet' to them. The idea of you (the father?) being 'sweet' to your son may be very strange and a far away concept. But it can be done a multitude of ways. Small gifts often go a long way. Ice cream? A cool "black light" light bulb? Perhaps listen to his radio station of choice on the way home and see if they mention any new-realease CD's, go out on a limb and pick it up for him. (Keep the wrap on and the reciept, he may already have it! lol) This is probably imposibble to plan, but something that is important is that you have to be approchable when he needs to talk to someone/you. Do you ever spend time at your house alone? Reading in the den? Working in the yard/shop/kitchen? If he is going to share himself with you then you need to be there for that to happen!
Good luck, to both you and your son!
PS. Don't be afraid to show him you have emotions too!!
2006-12-14 14:58:35 · answer #4 · answered by scar_boy75 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Emo is short for Emotive Hardcore, which is a style of music but has evolved onto a term to describe people who dress a certain way and are viewed as emotional. Emo's do not always stereotype themselves as gay/bi/straight and try to be more in touch with feelings for another person than sexuality. Some emo's are gay and some are not; gay just refers to sexual attraction to the same sex.
This being said, there are 2 things that stand out in your question. First, he always seems sad; secondly, his grades are going down. It's great that you told him that being gay/bi is OK, but that may not be what is going on. When you say he is always sad, has he given away anything to someone else that he cares about? Has there been anything in his life that has caused a lot of change? If his grades are going down it appears as if he doesn't care anymore, and him always appearing sad confirms my thoughts. Of course, whatever you tell him he will just think that you won't understand because you are older so you have got to do whatever you can to get him to open up. Tell him some of your fears and feelings when you were his age to try to get him to tell you his. I am really trying to not jump to conclusions, but I think you should keep a close eye on him because being sad and grades going down are the 2 biggest signs of depression.
2006-12-14 14:47:52 · answer #5 · answered by χριστοφορος ▽ 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He's young and experimenting - trying to find out who he is . . .
Give him enough space to do that without having to attach an big heavy label on him like "gay/bi" or even "emo".
On the other hand, if his grades are suffering and you think he might be depressed or even using drugs, seriously consider getting him into see a non-judgmental therapist just to rule out that he might be in any kind of danger.
Feel free to address his questionable behaviors as a good parent, but don't pigeon-hole him. Show him that you will love him no matter who he is while supporting good choices concerning what he does.
2006-12-14 16:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by taowhore 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are Emos Gay
2016-12-12 12:55:33 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being "emo" is just a style of clothes and music that a lot of teens are into. The two are completely separate.
But if your son was making out with a boy, i don't even know why you're asking this question. It seems as if he is not being honest with himself or you.
2006-12-14 14:30:56 · answer #8 · answered by lavendergirl 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he's gay --yes. Emo, I don't know enough about. But it does sound like your son could use some professional help. Something seems to be really troubling him.
2006-12-14 14:31:28 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Is my son emo or/and gay? whats the diffrence?
hes 15 and lately hes been acting very diffrent. he used to wear baggy/hiphop type clothes but now he wears black tight fittining clothes, he always seems sad, hes grades r going down and i walked in on him making out with this other boy. but he claims tht he isnt gay/bi even when told him tht it...
2015-08-18 17:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
at 15, he's probably just curious and experimenting..
people always want to know whether or not they should put a gay or bi label on themselves.. i think it's best not to focus on that.. let him experiment and let him be the one to decide if/when he knows for sure if he's gay or bi.
talk to him about school and tell him you are concerned about his grades.. try to resolve that issue mutually exclusively from worrying about the gay/bi issue.
also, if he's already making out, might be time to have a talk about the dangers and the importance of safe sex (no matter if it's with boys or girls).
2006-12-14 14:32:31 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋