I do everything for my wife and kids!Cook half the cleaning and any little favor she wants.the problem is she started a new job and is never home , it has caused alot of conflict and when I tell her we need to work out this issue all she can say is ............she has no control of the situation and I am not gonna quit my job!I never asked her to quit her job just to work around it.She does'nt call me that often and when I need help with the kids she refuses.We have only been married for 4 months and everything is going downhill.i get no respect and our love life has faded away.
I tiold her we should go to a marrage counsler but she figures we don't need to.I have since left her to see if that would open her eyes but she still insist on her job.I try to support her job but I can only take so much.
Any advice would be great
2006-12-14 14:20:58 · 10 answers · asked by corydaletoner 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is being very selfish.....When you get married you are a team you share the responsibility of everything!!!! I understand her job is very important to her but you have to have balance in your life. You could go to the best counselor money could buy but if you have already told her how you feel and she will not change maybe you know how the saying goes "you do not know how good you have it till it is gone"
Good luck...
2006-12-14 14:32:37 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I will assume here that you have several kids and being married only four months that they are not yours?? She is using you to take care of her kids. If I am wrong and the kids are yours, she is using her job to stay away from home. If she has no kids, maybe she is overwhelmed? If it is some of your kids and some of hers, I still think she should be more involved. Leave her to make the point that you need help raising the kids. If her job is truly that demanding, she needs to rethink her career choices. Family is always more important than work.
2006-12-14 22:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by doris_38133 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's great you help out so much! Give it some time. Keep pushing for counseling and take some serious time out to sit down and talk to her. When i first got married it took a while to adjust to it. The best thing you can do is communicate with her and keep trying to talk to her. Let her know the things she is doing right and gently move into the things you aren't so happy with. I think she is being selfish we all are sometimes. Don't give up on her just yet.
2006-12-14 22:38:43 · answer #3 · answered by Lauren 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something else is going on here. It's not about being selfish. Who's kids are they? If they are hers I hope you are not keeping them for her.
You definitely need to explore whether a mistake has been made in marrying this woman. She seems to have more invested outside of her marriage than in and does not seem willing to work on it. And control? - she has all of the control over the situation.
I would confront her with very serious ultimatums if I were you. You have been emotionally dumped.
Gentle thoughts to you, honey. Hope you can figure this one out.
2006-12-14 22:30:55 · answer #4 · answered by outdone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well i think you being selfish when you got married it's as one chill out she has a new job so she might be trying to get in good at her work site hey them kids is your too by the way 4 months you just use to her being there and now she's doing something else with her time you feel she don't have time for you that's not so the more money the better you live work with her move on to bigger thing in your relationship.
2006-12-14 22:59:03 · answer #5 · answered by LIPS 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
HANG ON!!!!!!!!!It will get better it just takes time, the first 2 yrs of marriage are THE HARDEST.Is there anyone that can come in and help you w/ the children, can you hire a cleaning lady to come once a week or maybe everyother week.Try to get into some kind of routine, and don't put to much on your plate you'll crack ,the kids will feel it and you'll be divorced before next christmas.Try to hold on and hang in there.
2006-12-14 22:31:04 · answer #6 · answered by seviliasrevenge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes she's being very selfish. But the leaving might work and might not, it could backfire on you and she could have alot of resentment towards you. But you sound like a great guy, and I don't think what your asking her is unreasonable. Sounds to me like you have put her before yourself, like a husband should do with his wife. And I can deffinatly see where she's disrespecting you. The marriage counceling idea is a great idea, and if she's not willing to go, you go by yourself. because maybe she will see your willing to make the effort to save the marriage.
2006-12-14 22:32:19 · answer #7 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes she is selfish.Try to get her to go to counseling..that might really help u guys out...for the children's sake try to make it work.But if she doesn't want to work at it ..I think you have to make a decision if u can do all this and stay for the kids if not leave... you shouldn't be unhappy.Good luck
2006-12-14 22:27:25 · answer #8 · answered by aliyah 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dude you should know by now all women are selffish,come on man you answered your own qustions why even ask that.stand up for your self and be a man for god sake's.
2006-12-14 22:43:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
well...u r perfect husband but i agree in one point with her u don`t need any counselors whatever u can do do it by urself...actually i wanted to tell u that it`s women`s nature if we r getting smth that we wanted for a long long time we automatically neeed more.GOOD LUCK
2006-12-14 22:31:37 · answer #10 · answered by sin_talk 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋