Baby Shower Invitations In Christmas Cards?

Question

Ok, so I am 30 weeks and due at the end of Feb with my first. We just moved pretty far away from family and friends and I dont have any friends here yet. I have asked what to do before and I had my husband talk to his family and so far no one is doing anything for me. My family is not going to be able to do anything either and no one is going to make a trip out here for a baby shower and I have no one here to plan one. I don't want to be greedy but we cant afford to get all the stuff we need. I have kind of stayed back in the shadows and not asked for anything from anyone and made my pregnancy a big deal. I let everyone else in my family and my husbands enjoy the lime light. I am going to plan on having the invitation date for the begining of Feb. So would it be rude to put the invitations to the shower that no one will show up for, in with Christmas cards and list where I am registered?

It's not that I want things now, I just want to make sure the invitations would get to everyone. And if they get the invite around Christmas and they do decide to come they have a month to plan the trip.

Another thing.. I know I am not supposed to plan my own shower but no one else is going to and I dont care if I get anything or not. My baby is going to have a great life and will not go without. Just giving everyone a chance to focus on me instead of everyone else in the family. That sounds bad, but it just seems like everyone in the family is preggers and I am the one left behind.

Answer 1

i think you should send them out....but separately....maybe early Jan that way everyone will have Xmas and the expense of Xmas behind them......

Answer 2

Honestly, I don't see why there needs to be an actual baby shower if the guest of honor can't be there. Because she will not be able to attend, I think it sounds like you're just asking for gifts if you send out invitations. So, sorry to sound like a party pooper here, but if I were you, I would just do what my out-of-state friends did for me: get a big box, have a few women buy some little things off the registry, put all the gifts in the box together, and then send it off to Alaska after every woman has contributed toward the shipping cost. That will make her day (it's always fun to get packages!), and is probably cheaper than ordering online and paying shipping costs there. Also, while your intentions are certainly good, I don't think that if one gives a gift card that it's appropriate for the giver to dictate how the recipient should spend the money. That's the beauty of a gift card and also a gift in general: the recipient is supposed to get whatever she wants or use the gift however she wants. It's sweet that you want to do something for your sister though. I just don't think a gift card shower is the best route, especially since people will be sending her that kind of stuff anyway.

Answer 3

Baby showers are thrown by friends or family of the new mom, not by the mom herself. Gifts are not the point - the point is sharing the excitement of the new baby. Throwing yourself a shower would indeed be considered rude, whether or not the invitation was in the Christmas card. Sorry.

But here are some things you CAN do that will not be rude:

- if you have a sister or relative that you are close to, you could confide in that person and perhaps she would throw you a shower. A good time might be over the Xmas holiday when perhaps you would be travelling back to family and friends.
- Put a note in your Xmas card, sharing your joyful news. Some may be inspired to share your joy by buying some of the stuff you need. No dropping hints - you can only tell people where you are registered if you get asked.
- It is easy to find gently used baby equipment in consignment shops. If your issue is getting the stuff you need, look there. I bought almost all my kids clothes in consignment shops and it was great.

Answer 4

No I don't think that it is being greedy to send invitations but send them separate from the Christmas cards. About a week later. Sometimes when people live far away they don't want to have to travel just to go to a baby shower. Now my suggestion to you is when you do have this registry thing done, do not go for the most expensive thing on the website. Be modest about the things that you choose. I am sure people will be willing to help if they knew a way that they could help you. Good luck and congratulations on becoming a mommy. I am sorry but your own in laws will not help you with a baby shower. I am sorry but that is messed up.

Answer 5

I am confused here....so you are kind of planning your OWN shower? Although I think it is really sad you won't be having a shower (hey, I am not getting one with this pregnancy and I never had a bridal shower so I feel for ya!), I think it is tacky to "throw" one for yourself..or make it look like you are.

And to put it in Christmas cards.....I could go either way on that...but I wouldn't be throwing my own shower.

Have you considered asking for things off of your registry for Christmas? There are things we need since this time around we are having a boy (first was a girl)....like bedding, etc. that can't really cross over if it is gender specific. That stuff is REALLY expensive....and I know how you feel. We are due at the end of January and have..oh..nothing. Nice.

My mother has gotten a couple things off the registry for us, but I swear my DH's side is completly oblivious to things like that. I had mentioned to him to maybe mention to his dad (who has more money than I will ever see) about the registry and Christmas and I think he may have, but they just aren't too smart with that stuff...and would be more apt to get a gift certificate (probably to somewhere other than where I registered) and give to to ME for Christmas and buy DH something personal. Nice, isn't it?

I am not the "give-me" type, but there are things we really would appreciate help with.

I feel for you...I really do.....but if you have clueless in-laws and that....you've got a challenge.

Answer 6

yeah.. that is very tacky.

I suggest you register, then tell a few relatives to pass along the info that you need some things and have them give out the registry.

Sending out invites to people you know will not show is like begging for money. Doing it in a Christmas card is even worse, people are already spending so much for christmas- this is not the way to go about it. Seriously.

Answer 7

Perhaps you should have a Meet and Greet the Baby shower,meaning have the gathering after the baby arrives so folks will be able to see the baby who have to travel. Ask for gift cards to get all you need for the little one.
To keep the expense of the little one down, perhaps you should look into a second hand baby shop in your area. Blessing to you and yours!

Answer 8

You should send them separately. Maybe a week or two later send the baby shower invitations. No one necesarrily has to show up because they can send presents through the mail. Also, maybe you could go to where your family is for a few days and have the party there? I hope everything goes well for you!

Answer 9

I think that it would be better to send the invitations in a seperate mailing. For one thing it could get lost in the xmas shuffle and for two you and your baby deserve a special invitation apart from a xmas card! Enjoy!

Answer 10

I didn't have any baby shower for my pregnancy and I was fine. I didn't sweat it. I also moved away from all my family and friends. Usually, the pregnant mom doesn't plan for a baby shower, it's planned by her friends or close female relatives.
If you need tons of baby clothes, you can buy it in bulk on ebay.com or shop at thrift stores. You can also buy baby furniture on ebay as well. We bought our baby car seat off there. Thrift stores also have tons of children's clothes.

Answer 11

I'm sorry to tell you this, but you cannot give yourself a shower. You and your husband need to accept responsibility for your own child. If someone in your family or his wishes to help it is called a gift.
You might try to shop for the baby in thrift shops. Babies need love, nurturing, and attention much more than all the "stuff" people have these days.
So start getting ready for your baby and good luck.