I don't have any friends...by choice. Everytime I am with 'friends' i feel like I am there b/c it'd be wired not to have friends. So now things are the way i want... I like my own company. But I can't make a decent converstation with anyone. There are places, like at work, or with in-laws where one needs to be talkative, make a decent conversation instead of being quiet. But I get so nervous. I feel that I need to say something intelligent so co-workers and in-laws would think I am good enough. My fiance has a great talent of being natural with strangers but I honestly can't be natural. Senior yr high school (3 yrs ago) got me depressed b/c i was lonely and ppl were just brutal. Ever since then I feel that ppl will think I am strange that I am a loner and that makes me nervous about opening up- talking freely. How do I get out of this? I know - don't worry about wat ppl think but that's what i need help with...how to not worry? Thanks to all who answer.
2006-12-14 13:58:50 · 6 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I understand you because I had the same problem. I am/was a loner. It was a real problem until I assumed that that was me. Then, I started to find people just like me, loners but thinkers, and also able to understand me. It takes time but It is going to take less time when you start to assume it. As long as you try to be other than yourself, you will have the problem. There is nothing wrong in saying n to a party or a get together. The most interesting part is that when you start being yourself you will be able to talk and be part of any situation without feeling nervous because you are yourself and you do not care... I hope it helps.
2006-12-14 14:06:44 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
High school is brutal. Forget that. Just focus on the future. Sometimes it helps to have things in your mind that you can talk about. Maybe learn more about topics that interest you and incorporate them in your conversations. This way you will flow better. After a little practice flow and talkativeness will come.
2006-12-14 14:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Isabela 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget those jerks in high school. They are all now pumping gas or dead beat moms. Just start talking. If they judge you poorly then they were never your friends. Plus there is nothing wrong with being weird. Everyone needs weird in their life or otherwise everything would be blah.
2006-12-14 14:10:30 · answer #3 · answered by retrodragonfly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in order for u to develop a good friendship with anyone who will have to listen to what the person has to say and after the person is finish u make your comments. try to learn about people to know what they like and dont like so that when u are having a conversation you know the right words to say to the person other than pissing off the person
2006-12-14 14:07:07 · answer #4 · answered by sheka 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't be that bad as you have a man that wants to marry you.
I always assume that people love talking about themselves so ask questions about what interests they have eg. do they play sport? Everyone is nervous at one time or another.
2006-12-14 14:04:52 · answer #5 · answered by patricia may knight 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im sure your fiancee could help you.
Just take little steps like saying hi to people before they say hi to you, and go from there.
Looking people in the eye can work too.
2006-12-14 16:51:11 · answer #6 · answered by Kevin P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋