What do you think about gay men who describe themselves as "straight-acting?"?

Question

And what exaclty is..."straight-acting?"

Answer 1

I'm glad to see this question...I asked it twice a while back and it got deleted both times.


I don't like the term. It does imply that one set of gay men is somehow better or more worthy than another.

I am a guy who would be described as straight acting in the way that most people mean it. I have a lot of stereotypically masculine interests and mannerisms but I'm not "acting" like anyone...I'm just me.

I certainly don't think my masculine nature makes me any better than my nelly brothers...many of whom I find very sexy.





I love the great song by Romanovsky and Phillips that asks the immortal question, "How straight do they look when they're down on their knees?"

Answer 2

I disagree with some of you here. Not all straight-acting gay men are insecure or tries to deny their sexuality. If you are a very open gay Arab in the Middle East especially in Saudi Arabia, most probably you will get killed. If I am not mistaken, you are supposed to be stoned to death by Sharia law. Homosexuality is taboo among Muslims. Gay Arabs do not have a choice but to keep their sexuality or else face death. In my country, even though homosexuality is well tolerated, but it is still not acceptable. You see drag queens in the streets but when they go home, especially those still living with their parents, they take off their make up and dress out of respect to their parents. Most parents would not like to see their children openly gay as it might bring some shame to the family and the entire clan.

I hope you guys understand that not all cultures are the same. American culture is more liberal and open while ours is still conservative. Its a matter of respect and understanding.

By the way I do not consider myself straight-acting nor do I consider myself effeminate.

Answer 3

I LOL and wonder when I'll read about the straight "gay-acting" guy looking for a "discreet" relationship with a woman!

I find most often these are guys who are too chicken $&*t to be themselves, so they put up a front for their jobs or families that they're "straight", and they do the whole convaluted "my girlfriend" business when they're in fact talking about their manly main squeeze. It's absurd.

Answer 4

Straight acting, a term that comes from gay slang, is used to describe a person who does not exhibit stereotypically gay mannerisms, style of dress, or behavior. The label is used by and reserved almost exclusively for gay men (although it is also used to describe "lipstick lesbians"), but because it invokes a stereotype, its application is often controversial and may cause offense. "Straight acting" is often used in conjunction with "straight looking."
As the term "straight acting" is used to refer to gay men who do not fit the stereotype that gay men are effeminate or otherwise non-masculine, it is seen to perpetuate that stereotype.

The gender role stereotype itself is often criticized. The idea is that a man is no less a man if he does not possess a certain list of attributes -- that masculinity is either a bankrupt concept, or that it is a socially-constructed concept which should be significantly broadened.

The association of homosexuality (and heterosexuality) with a certain list of attributes is also criticized. The gay subculture of homomasculinity actually takes the traditionally desirable attributes of masculinity and pairs them with homosexuality. In the contemporary heterosexual cultural phenomenon of metrosexuality, men adopt traditionally feminine attributes, such as devoting considerable attention to personal appearance.

Sex advice columnist Dan Savage has noted the popularity of the "straight acting" image in gay personals. He criticizes both the preference itself (noting he does not share it) and the idea that a man seeking a gay relationship through a personals ad is "acting straight".

Filmmaker Spencer Windes also explored what the term means and how we define masculinity in his documentary "Straight Acting," which delves into the world of openly gay men who play violent contact sports like rugby and hockey.

Related terminology
Other terms are sometimes used to describe men who do not fit the "gay stereotype". Being on the down-low is a slang term used among African Americans for men who secretly have sex with men while maintaining romantic relationships with women.

Similarly, the neologism "g0y" is used to identify men who are affectionate with other men, but choose not to partake in anal sex. They detest the ways in which homosexuality has been linked to effeminacy and so have opted to create a new facet of sexual orientation.

Both of these terms are, however, also often controversial and seen by some as an excuse for homosexual men to stay closeted

Answer 5

I wish people wouldn't use this term, because it implies that straight guys are meant to act one way and gay guys are meant to act another. I think that people are people, no matter who they are interested in, and while a lot of gay people do act a certain way that is different from straights, whos to say that gay people aren't allowed to act "straight" and vice versa? Why do we need to pigeon-hole people into categories, such as "gay-acting gay" vs. "straight-acting gay?" Personally, I don't think I am either. In some ways I act "gay," in other ways I act "straight" and I don't need some title to tell me how I act.

Answer 6

Straight-acting is the illusion of 'appearing' to be heterosexual when in actual fact you're gay. It is an act, really. There is absolutely NOTHING straight about two naked men in bed sucking each other off, regardless of how 'straight-acting' one may be.

Any guy who describes himself as 'straight-acting' is seriously kidding himself..

Answer 7

'Straight-acting' is a ridiculous term that gay men have coined to stress how 'masculine' or 'manly' they appear to others. These guys go on to emphasize how much time they spend working out, playing sports, drinking beer and doing things that our heterosexual counterparts enjoy and associate with things that MEN do. All in an attempt to keep from being labeled as 'feminine', 'dainty', or 'flimsy'.
Straight-acting is just as the name says; AN ACT.

Answer 8

I don't have a problem with the term. While I do think that there are better choice phrases to get across the fact that one does not act in a stereotypical manner I do not see it as any sort of endorsement of a "right or wrong" judgmental basis of discrimination toward other homosexuals.

Answer 9

I guess it's a guy who behaves in such a way so that a person wouldn't immediately assume they're gay. Avoids stereotypical mannerisms, etc. If this keeps him from having difficulty with co-workers, bosses, etc. then IMO, it's ok to do. But if he's being deceptive and leading women on, then it isn't.

Answer 10

Straight acting is when you don't act like a woman and as for the gays who say they are straight acting, they are so full of it.