how you make some one happy when they never get happy no matter what you do?

Question

i have tryed to make my husband happy but it dose not matter what i do he is never happy he is always mad at something just like to nite i asked him to take one day and nite for us and he want even do that so i give up its never good enought for what i do he is always mad at something dose anyone know how to help me?

Answer 1

He will never happy with whatever you do coz he just don't appreciated. Stop thinking or trying to make your husband happy, why not just think how to make yourself happy? Try not to do anything that irritate him or maybe don't do anything for him. Love yourself more....

Answer 2

The more you try to make him happy, the more it won't work and the less happy you'll be. You need to make yourself happy and he needs to make himself happy. There are few things more unhealthy than these types of games. You cannot make him happy -- no matter what you do. That's got to come from him. And nobody can make you happy. You have to make yourself happy.

And what is happiness anyway? Most people don't even know what it is. They know it when they feel it but it comes and goes and they have no idea how to create it -- without drugs or alcohol. And the fact is, happiness doesn't come and stay. It comes and goes and we as humans need to accept that fact. Life is a lot easier once a person realizes this. Ups and downs are normal in life -- even desireable. If you were "happy" all the time, there would be nothing special about being happy and then you wouldn't be happy then either, would you? So the contrasts are a good thing. The absense of happiness allows us greater pleasure when happiness comes around.

Happiness is like the words on a page. There is a lot more white space than there are letters. Without the white space, you couldn't read the words. Some people don't realize these things. And when happiness is not present, they are devastated.

So in short, stop trying to make him happy. It won't work. But don't get me wrong, I'm not telling you to be selfish and ignore him -- that's not what I mean. Spend time together and enjoy each other's company. But if he's looking to you for his happiness, he is a lost soul. And if you are trying to make somebody happy, you are a lost soul.

You might benefit from spending some time around some people who have already learned this stuff who might coach you along a bit. To some extent, you can influence your own level of happiness -- but not if you're spending all your energy on somebody else's happiness.

I wish I could do a better job of putting what I'm trying to say into words. I hope you get the idea.

Good luck to you both.

Answer 3

There are some great answers here!

My ex's glass was always half empty, and nothing made him happy. I tried for 18 years to do everything I could to make him happy, or at least fairly positive and nothing worked. He finally left me and I ran as fast as I could from that relationship. From what I hear and from correspondences with him, he still is not happy, at least now he has me to blame for all his lifes misfortunes.

I am not saying divorce your husband, it just happens to be how this one turned out.

I agree with the other answerers, you cannot make anyone happy--happiness comes from within. Dont short change your life because he perceives his to be so bad. Good luck and happy holidays!

Answer 4

I will say a little about this and hope it helps you in some way'' i was married to a lady for about fifteen years, first 5 was very good, i'm very romantic in the way i interact with a woman because i realize its shows a level of respect too them and its my job to respect my wife,as time went on she repelled all the romantic actions i tryed for years, i'm not only talking sex i mean just holding hands seamed stupide to her she said we where no longer kids, but she told everyone how happy we where, then she started saying bad things to me and being very dissrespectful infront of other people, i started drinking and for years being depressed and letting her go on doing this, then i found that she had stolen $3000 dollars from me, well latter i had a little problem with cancer but i lived over it only having a really bad scar on my face it really looks bad, she devorced me i moved to mexico and 1 year latter remarried love at first site it was,for the both of us we think alike and the same words some times come out of our mouths at the same time, and romantic well if you are the romantic type let me tell you spanish people are very romantic, its part of the life they say, and i have never been so happy and in love 6 years tomarrow its what life truly is for to be in love and feel it every day so strong it can never end, the point to my story is if it is your husband job, or money problems, or one of you have to many friends coming around you must change or remove that stress object because some men can express, but if the love is no longer their, then it may have never been more than lust to start with, think of your happyness because i promise you there really is true love that stands the test of time, but you can't find it in a bar, if it ends travel to ease your mind travel really can broden the mind, and remember it is not possable to make other people truly love you if they do not know how to love in the first place, a woman needs romance every day of her life because she is the fruit of life for a man in love.

Answer 5

He may very well be depressed. Have him take some St. John's Wort, which is an herbal supplement you can find at any store. If you can afford it, therapy would also be good. That never hurt anyone, and if he's always as mad as you say, it will definitely do him some good.

Answer 6

You can not MAKE someone happy. Another's happiness is not for you to give. They have to find it within themselves and obviously your husband isn't happy. There is NOTHING that you can do about it other than suggest he get counseling to figure out just what it is that is really bothering him.

Answer 7

Hapiness comes from within a person. You can't make someone happy. Your hubbys attitude is broken. YOu didn't break it, but you can't fix it either. He needs therapy or self help books or something... to change his way of thinking.

Answer 8

Since they are never happy with whatever I do...I will make them happy by not doing anything!

Answer 9

my husband also never seems to be really happy.he is probably the most negative person i know.he never sees good in anything.he use to outside to his shop and i would go out there too,to try to find out what was wrong. i was constantly asking the questions..is it me or something else? it drove to me crazy. i would do everything for him to try to please him. nothing would work for long. Finally, i decided that if he went out to the shop..so be it...i wasnt putting myself through the worry.then he started spending less time out there and more time inside with me..once he figured out that i wasnt going to beg and plead with him anymore to find out what he was pouting about. i still ask him whats wrong...but i only ask once..and he chooses not to answer, i choose not to worry about it...i still do everything for him,but its because i always have..not to try to make him happy...he is still bitter about everything and he is quite the loner..but i quit putting myself through hell over it....so bottom line he will probably always be bitter...my advise...little by little try to block him out when he is acting that way...and he will start to notice...and thrill of making you worry every minute of the will be gone...and just maybe he will start talking to you more...mine did! i think its a way for them to have some kinda control over us,,.sometimes i even wondered if there was a problem with him or he just enjoyed me fussing over him.i annoyed him because i am just the oppsite from him,rarely i am in a bad mood and i enjoy people and i just feel he needed to be center of attention and that was the only way he found to do it..of coarse there are other ways he just chose to act like a 2 year old that dosen't get there way. eventionaly after being ingored, they start talking to us normal again because they know that noone else really cares what there problem is and we are all they have...if they want to act like a 2 year old...treat them like one!

Answer 10

its not your job to always make him happy. It's up to him. If its as bad as you say id suggest asking him to talk calmly then get counseling if you have to