The three stages of attachment really do not apply to me for the most part. The secure attachment would probably be the best one because they have all grown attached to the mom. For me, I was deployed for their first year, so its been playing catch up ever since. With the baby I've got to see him grow and I do believe he is spoiled to the bone, because he has both parents to lean on his first year. I learned that the little one has his way and his crying is more aggravating to the point that he is the boss. I am trying to change that now, but it is hard since he is the baby and I am around.
2006-12-14 11:02:59 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Nature has given babies "aggravating" cries because it is so important that those cries be responded to. The only world a baby has is his parents and home. If he learns that when he is upset or uncomfortable his cries get responded to he will come to see his world as a positive and nurturing place. If he learns that when he cries he is ignored or thought to be attempting to "be boss" he will learn that his parents don't understand his discomfort and, further, are suspicious of his motivations when, in fact, a baby has no motivations beyond wanting to be made to feel safe, secure, and comfortable.
He isn't "boss". He's got needs because he's a baby. Baby's don't think it terms of who is boss. That's something that parents who don't understand babies think up, and it has no basis in reality. Parents can FEEL as if the baby is boss because they must keep on their toes, trying to make the baby safe, happy, and comfortable; but it has nothing to do with "who is boss" from the baby's standpoint.
You may want to consider seeing a counselor who could help you understand your baby a little better. Also, particularly because you say you have been deployed (a tremendously powerful experience for you and your family), you may want to talk to a counselor about all the things you are probably going through at this point. You've made a tremendous sacrifice with your deployment, so - now - why not let someone help you iron out some of the issues you seem to be dealing with now that you're back with your baby. A lot of military people now get a little support from a counselor. They've been through so much. Its normal and reasonable to think about talking to someone at this point.
2006-12-16 20:34:42 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused! Are you saying that you weren't with the others because you were away,but now that you have been with this little one,you don't know how to handle his taking over as boss..
Well, that is part of being a parent..You have to teach children who is boss....but in a loving way.When it comes a child being spoiled,it doesn't matter if there is one or two parents present in a child's life,that will make them spoiled or not.....Sure wish I knew exactly what it is you are asking here!
2006-12-14 11:39:58 · answer #2 · answered by ladybug 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-30 10:21:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, I don't see a question but if you want comment on your comment...
Sounds like normal parenting to me. Just keep going, you're doing fine.
2006-12-14 11:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yep
2006-12-14 11:18:48 · answer #5 · answered by dustylee33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What in the hell?
2006-12-14 11:11:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So.....what is your question again?
2006-12-14 11:05:29 · answer #7 · answered by â¤??? ?å???? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋