always wished from the start, you and me together, never apart, how could this happen? how did i let it be? was it you? was it me?did i do you rong?speak my love! make me strong!are you like they say, a season? were you here, to give me reason? job well done my love, i have learnt so much from you, care i learnt from your effection, fear i learnt from your seduction, i let you be the one for me, you made me believe, you let me see, i shall now cry for you.. shall blame myself, also you! time to say goodbye my love, i shall miss you, but will not die.
2006-12-14 10:59:08 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
lol, i can take critisism, but i wana start writtin poems n this is my first 1! so am not expecting it to be nice.. but u leanr from experience!.. niway thx all for answerin ..
2006-12-14 20:22:44 · update #1
The poem is really expressive but in a subtle way. It appears that you are or were going through a painful experience and this is an outlet for release. Good job.
2006-12-14 11:02:04 · answer #1 · answered by Sia 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Even better question is what do you think of the poem? Art as with beauty is in the eye/heart of the beholder. If we like it will it make it more important to you? If we dislike it will it decrease in value to you? What is important is that you are being expressive and creative without damaging yourself or anyone else. Keep writing and know some will like what you do and some won't but that doesn't make it any more or any less perfectly expressed from your heart!
2006-12-14 19:21:51 · answer #2 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rose are Red
Violets are Blue
This Poems to Long
For me to Review
2006-12-14 19:30:59 · answer #3 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very Good Job! I liked it..Seems like its from the heart..
Good Job
Have a Great Day
2006-12-14 19:13:56 · answer #4 · answered by Shem 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Friend!
close to reality and feelings.... well done job....
but you know dear - there're always more & better options (words) to modify/write a poem for different persons... read again & again... and try to find better options for you... :-)
best wishes
&
thanks for sharing
2006-12-14 19:08:29 · answer #5 · answered by Freude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nice.
2006-12-14 19:18:20 · answer #6 · answered by smeezleme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very nice, i think you covered alot of the feelings people have when a breakup happen,,,,, only suggestion, change effection to affection,, and learnt to learned
2006-12-14 19:06:22 · answer #7 · answered by dlin333 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
ehhh you stress rhymes too much. . . some words dont have meaning they just rhyme. . . but other than that cheer up mate. . . this too shall pass!!!
2006-12-14 19:04:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I FELT YOUR PAIN...
I FEEL YOUR LOVE...
I FELT YOUR SORROW, AND LOST...
I FELT YOU GAIN...IN SPITE OF THE PAIN...
YOU SHOW THE READERS THAT YOU ARE SEEING CLEARLY....AND THAT YOU ARE STRONG....ENOUGH TO GO ON...THIS POEM IS A REFLECTION OF YOUR EMOTIONS IN MOTION....AND I MUST SAY YOU'RE MOVING IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION....KEEP ON WRITING
2006-12-14 19:08:10 · answer #9 · answered by mema 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
seems like a bunch of different songs and poems pasted together.
2006-12-14 19:01:11 · answer #10 · answered by Raymond 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋