i have been with this guy for about four years and we used to live together and all. we have a 1 1/2 year old baby together. we've been seperated for almost two months now. through all that time he's been crying and begging for me to get back with him. I'm a little stressed out about it. the reason i left him is because he could't control his jelousy and he had a very bad temper untill finally he laid his hands on me in a violent manner. i fianlly just left . i mean he had no reason not to trust me. i still love him very much but i don't know if i should get back with him. another problem is i really dislike his family and a few of their friends. all they have done is caused problems for us and whatever. and honostly for no reason. they started things for no reason. and with out thinking about anyones including there son's feelings . not even thinking about the baby. and they get all mad now cuz i don't let them take her. well if ya'll have some good advice can you share it please.
2006-12-14 10:53:58 · 10 answers · asked by greeneyes 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You know him better than anyone else. You should be able to tell if he's really repenting or if he's doing all this just to "win" you back. A lot of times, it is humiliating to him to have been "dumped" and he'll do anything to just get you back. Again, you are the best judge here.
If I were you, I'll stick to my decision to have separated from him. You need time. You cannot be reacting to his emotional outbursts or fits of anger.
Is there a reason to believe he has genuinely changed to the better? Is there a reason to believe he's not going to be abusive all over again? He seems to be a very insecure person. I'm sorry to sound judgemental there.
Try telling him that you need some time and space. If he really cares for you, ask him to leave you alone for a while. Ask him to respect your space. He should let you get on with your life in peace. Don't be surprised if he willingly accepts that. It is unfortunate that one's ego and selfishness can sometimes be so detrimental, they'll do anything to satisfy their egos.
And if nothing else seems to work, please consider getting a restraining order. I might sound harsh, but you may have to do it if nothing else works.
But, whatever you do, please don't take him back in your life unless you are fully and completely convinced he has changed for the good. Good luck :-)
2006-12-14 11:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by houstonian352000 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's evidently anybody who are not able to be relied on and in addition has tremendous intimacy and or self worth disorders, so why are you placing your self by way of this. The quicker you progress on, the earlier you'll be able to uncover the proper individual for you (difficult love: handiest an fool might suppose the behaviors above are appropriate in a longer term mate). You may additionally wish to come to a decision if you're anybody who are not able to be relied on, and what to do approximately in the event you are not.
2016-09-03 16:15:40 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't go back to the abuser. There's no excuse for disrespecting a partner like this. Quite a few people have bad temper, yes - but it should not lead to violence. If it does, it's a HUGE red flag, and you are absolutely right to leave.
2006-12-14 10:57:48 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to your question, do you think he will change? If you have an history of this type of situation then he will never change but if this is his first time hurting you then maybe it scared him also. Men can be pigs but they also can change if they really want too, My husband done some things to me that were unforgivable but once i left him and showed him i could supprt myself then he realized what a jerk had been and he really got better. But some men cant get better and if you really fear him then leave him forever. If you want him to see the child then get his visitation supervised.
2006-12-14 11:30:22 · answer #4 · answered by Kendra M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
once he hit you all bets are off...but here is the deal...i know love is a powerful thing even more when kids are involved....but for you and the baby what you need to do is sit down and think about it....if you do go back to him does he change his attitude? will the relationship get any better?...let me tell you a lil of my life....when i first met my ex wife i had an attitude that was the worst of anything...what changed that was either i changed it or she was leaving....that was a slap in the face for me...i mean i never hit her and that is a lil different .....i sat down and thought about it and decided what i really wanted....now i know i said ex wife but the divorce was never cause of my attitude...but i never change the marriage we had...but in short find or look deep inside your self....remember what you do will not only affect you but the baby to...but good luck in trying to figure this out
2006-12-14 11:16:21 · answer #5 · answered by candyman 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never, ever any excuse for raising your hands to a woman - unless you are, quite literally, in a life-or-death situation. Don't look back.
2006-12-14 10:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by Humberto 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the classic abuse cycle. Hits you, apologizs and cries, you forgive him, he hits you again, you leave again, he apologizes and cries... etc. Vicious cycle. Think about your baby. If he does this to you, eventually it will turn to the baby.
2006-12-14 10:59:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he hit you once, he will do it again when he gets angry enough. For your own sake and the sake of your child, do NOT get back with him. Protect yourself and your child.
2006-12-14 10:56:57 · answer #8 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you get back with him you need to set some rules that he needs to listen to and abide by.
2006-12-14 10:58:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't go back
2006-12-14 11:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋