is an abortion out of the question even if?

Question

im not ready for a child (money) and my boyfriend doesn't seem to happy. i don't think he want to do the whole moving in together and being a family idea. i feel so guilty...

Answer 1

I have been in your situation once before......

I know how you are probably feeling right now and it isn't the desirable situation at any time in someone's life.

My boyfriend and I had been together for 2 years when I had an abortion. It took me along time to decide on what I wanted to do as I didn't let anyone pressure me into a decision. Be careful how you let people influence you though. I know many people have different opinions and a hell of A LOT of people are completely against abortion -- however, if you feel that it is something that you want/need to do....then decide relatively quickly.

How far along are you now? Perhaps you are only in the early stages....

Because it is such a hard decision, it took me a LONG time to decide on what I wanted to do, I almost pushed myself to the limit where there was no turning back and I would have to take the pregnancy full-term.....therefore making the abortion a longer (2 day) process, more painful physically & emotionally. Be sure to speak with someone you can trust and that's not going to throw judgement at you the second you mention the word abortion.

Talk to your boyfriend and find out what he really thinks. When I "talked" to my boyfriend at the time he only had one thought in his head and that was for me to get an abortion -- he couldn't see it happening any other way. However, the choice is still UP TO YOU! It's your body and you can do with it what you see fit to do......
However my boyfriend felt about the pregnancy, he did support me through my decision and I don't think it affected our relationship at all - if anything it brought us much closer together. We did learn from the experience and I think we "grew up" also. Just make sure you will have someone there to support you no matter what you do.....

Sometimes I feel guilty and have dreams of what it would have been like to keep that child --- but my situation has now changed. I am no longer with the same boyfriend (we separated for a non-related reason) and I'm currently 3 months pregnant to a new partner and am completely overjoyed. The guilt does follow you around for a little while, but there are so many things in life & people that will get your through it and just think - one day when you have another child you can give them twice the amount of love and know that this time around you can give your child the life that they deserve..........

Answer 2

There is nothing to feel guilty about. Okay so you didn't think it would ever happen to you and it did. Your boyfriend doesn't want any thing to do with it and that's just sad. But you have got to do what you feel is best for YOU and the BABY. If you think that in the long run that you couldn't give this child a good life and it would be difficult (money wise) to carry it and than give it up for adoption than maybe you should have an abortion. An abortion shouldn't be an ends to a means or be looked at as "oops I got pregnant, I'll just go to the clinic" Like it's " Oops I just chipped a nail I better go to the Solon." Look I am not one of those church goers that says that abortion is a sin or whatever!( nothing personal) It is a viable choice but I would give it a lot of thought. IF you give it up for adoption you could have an opened adoption and have pictures sent. Give it a good life with someone else if you can't or don't think you could. But remember that it's not just an out. If you do abort you will think of the baby some day. Most aborted mothers go though loss and guilt after wards. If you didn't you wouldn't be human. Think about it and talk it over with your family. Good luck

Answer 3

Here's the deal people make mistakes. People here are telling you abortion is murder and if you weren't ready for a child you shouldn't have been having sex but guess that is wrong. People make mistakes and shouldn't have to live with them everyday. No one can tell you which way to go here. You need to observe the facts, you said you can't afford it and aren't ready so you know you personally can't parent the child. However, depending on what you believe you can get an abortion which is a right answer for a lot of people or you can give it up. Although at certain ages actually carrying is the worst and most shameful part and you need to decide. Decide for you not your boyfriend though because you will be the one to live with whatever decision you choose.

Answer 4

It is really a decision only you can make. It'll be the hardest one you ever make. I had an abortion when I was 21, and it was one of the hardest things I've ever done
.
Now I am 36, have a 14 month old son, and am six weeks pregnant now. I regret my decision back then, but I wouldn't change it if I could go back.

No, abortion should not be used as a form of birth control, but each case is very personal, and you shouldn't feel like a horrible person, no matter what you decide.

Think hard about your feelings, talk to friends, and do what you feel is best for you at this time in your life.

Good luck, and I wish you the best. :)

Answer 5

I don't think it's ever out of the question. Sorry, misread it.

I think every woman should choose what's best for her.

I do not think it's a sin, or murder, or anything along those lines. It's an option. Not a damning pre-meditated assault. Sometimes you have no other choice.

If your boyfriend doesn't want to have a family, of course consider it. But are YOU happy? Do YOU want the baby? Would you raise it without him? Can someone else help with money? See, believe it is the WOMAN'S choice and nobody else's. He can just run away if he wants to ... but you'll be tied to this child forever, even if you give it up for adoption (there ARE records, and the child MIGHT look for you when he/she is older).

It's up to you. If you're having trouble deciding, call Planned Parenthood and ask to talk to a counselor. They can be an impartial support person and help you think through everything. Then once you do decide, they'll help you follow through on adoption, abortion, or parenting.

Good luck.

And just so you know, if he doesn't want to have a family, he doesn't deserve you. No man I know would tell his wife/girlfriend/whatever that he didn't want her to move in just because the time wasn't right. If he wants to be with you forever, it won't matter when. If he wanted kids, he would have been excited even though it's not when he planned. Think about whether you want to be with him, too.

Answer 6

my heart broke when i read your question. you and your boyfriend are in a tough situation. just make sure you look at this dilemma in every aspect possible because no matter which way you go you will be making a decision that will leave a long time impression in a lot of lives. i suggest you look at this from the baby's view, your view, your boyfriends view of whether or not you keep or abort this child or even decide to give this baby up for adoption. make a list of the pros and cons of each situation then go from there. personally i dont believe in abortion. you gotta do whats gonna be best for the child. if you decide to give it up for adoption perhaps carrying the child will give you and your boyfriend more time to make a rational decision. follow your heart, though. how do your parents feel about this as well?

Answer 7

I beleive that if you don't feel the two of you are ready to take care of a child. That doesn't give you the o.k. to kill the baby. There are a lot of couples out there who love each other, and can not conceive a child. Please as least consider giving the baby up for adoption. Yes, it will take 9 months... but if you have an abortion, you will have to think about that for the rest of your life... trust me. I have three children, but I know many a girls that have had an abortion, and all of them REGRET IT, and ThINK about what could have been, and what their child may be doing in school, learning, how old they would be, etc. at this time.

Answer 8

well I believe abortion isn't the best idea. I would suggest adoption. My friends couldn't have children and they wanted them so bad and a person was in blur like you kind of are they could afford it so they had the baby and gave it up for adoption in hopes for a better life. they used a place where they had like 4 or so couples their age that couldn't have babies due to medical issues, and they got to choose the family there son went into. My friends had to show like their income, list their jobs and like a bunch of personal info. it was the best thing that happen to them. So think as it this way you getting pregnant is god's way of answering someone pray, if that baby didn't have a purpose in life it would have never happened or it will be still born so what I am saying I believe abortion is not the answer, and don't think for one second even if it is rough that you did the wrong thing. there are resources out there to help you so you don't resort to abortion. Hope this helps or opens your eyes to other resources.

Answer 9

I wouldn't do it. I wasn't ready for a child either when I was 17, but I MADE myself ready. My "boyfriend," wanted me to get an abortion as well, but I didn't. Our beautiful daughter will be 3 in April. We're also getting married next year. As far as money goes, even if you don't feel like you have enough for a child, you can make it. After my fiance knew my mind was made up about having our baby, he worked his butt off so we could have nice things and give our daughter a nice life. If you still feel like you can't afford a child, why not find a couple to adopt who aren't able to have children?

Answer 10

I personally dont believe in abortions, but i cant tell you what to do, BUT if your going to feel guilty about it then i wouldnt do it, im sure your family will help and well the joy of a baby is worth all. OR you could take the adoption route.