i was having an affair which is kinda over, and it was really serious, i was and am so into my lover who i've known almost my whole life. i mean, the love is not fake between us, it's just a long and complicated story, but anyway...it wasn't an everyday thing either, just two hours a month, spending time together, and being intimate. ok....so...it's "kinda" over for good...because i have to really grow up and try to fix things with myself and be faithful to my husband and try to rekindle the love i had for my husband from the first time we met. so yesterday night, we were doing it and oh my god, i wanted to kill myself. i just didn't feel right, i wanted to run and never look back. how the hell am i going to convince myself that my husband is my one and only and i have to be true to him and how am i going to make love to him and feel great about it again? i know this q. is complicated but please give serious answers and don't tell me i'm a bit$h
2006-12-14 10:16:05 · 8 answers · asked by Butterfly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Life is complicated...and most of the time we do complicate...and there are several reasons for that...I wish I could knew the reason what took you to cheat your husband...did you had problems with him...did you face with him about the common marital issues? There must be something that you cheated on him...
It is never to late to get back...but as you said..it is difficult cuz you ve been disconnected for a while...but work on it...and try to fix all the time that you were gone.
How? Try doing creative things...do something together...rembember why you fall in love with him...and so on.
But be real and serious....cuz if you wont give effort in this time...you might lose him.
take care and I wish you a very good luck.
2006-12-14 10:29:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no such thing as 'kinda'. Either it is over or it isn't. Make up your mind. And if you're truly serious about making it work with your husband, the first thing you have to do is be honest with him about the affair. Not every detail, that would crush him. But tell him you were unfaithful, you regret it, and you want to work it out with him. (Assuming that is all true.)
Making love to your husband again? That will take time, after he calms down and forgives you. IF he does, if he can. Be prepared for any reaction from him at this point. And you have to totally let go of this other person, I mean it. They are gone. Get the temptation out of your life, for good. It will be hard, but you have to choose, your former lover or your husband and marriage. Which is more important to you, really, truly in your heart? Only you can answer that.
2006-12-14 18:32:12 · answer #2 · answered by heartwife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to grow a spine and tell him-that is the only way to get this off your conscience-he will be mad and maybe he will leave you-I would!!-but that is the bed you made for yourself and now you have to lay in it!!!!!!!!I hope your not looking for sympathy here because you do not deserve it-be an adult and take your medicine!!!!!!
2006-12-14 18:33:54 · answer #3 · answered by I'm laughing WITH you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Twice you stated that it is "kind of " over. It needs to be completely over or you need to be honest with your husband and go with the other man. Just know that if they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you. I feel sorry for your husband.
2006-12-14 18:19:56 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're trying to force yourself to love someone you don't care about, your husband. Obviously you don't or you wouldn't have cheated on him. Let him go so he can move on and find a "good" woman and real love.
2006-12-14 18:23:25 · answer #5 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
ok 1 calm down its ok you know people are forgivin everyday for things like this i dont mean to go all religious on you but Jesus can wash it away pray about it! I PROMISE it will help you can get through this I know you can so just hang in there & PRAY!!!!!! PRAY EVERYDAY NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE!!!!!! good luck!! :)
2006-12-14 18:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by being patient with love♥ 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if that love is not there then you can convence yourself. you need to leave your husband and move on . if you feel like that when you make love to him. thats just wrong. LEAVE HIM. DON'T HURT HIM ANYMORE!!!
2006-12-14 18:21:18 · answer #7 · answered by teddybearleogirl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry..... but bit$h
2006-12-14 18:19:49 · answer #8 · answered by jarrow t 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋