I am 23 and my boyfriend is 36, and we've been together for five years nearly. He's never really been that bothered about sex (that I know of), but now we haven't has sex since February. Many people regard me as being very attractive and I'm quite sure there is no one else. Also, he's admitted that he masturbates when I'm not there, but never in front of me. It's not like I'm frigid r unadventurous either. Am I doing something wrong or wasting my time?
2006-12-14 10:09:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Of couse he does
2006-12-14 10:11:23 · answer #1 · answered by raythecat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's right in saying that relationships aren't all about sex. It's about how you are with the person. If you and him are getting along fine with each other as you are, and the lack of sex isn't putting a strain on the relationship then its fine. However, the age gap could be of concern. Novelties do wear off, but if he's been with you for 5 years, then it could just be that he wants something new. Try new things with him. Suggest things, talk to him about it if it concerns you. Nothing gets solved if you dont talk.
As far as the masturbation is concerned, some guys see it as a very personal thing to them. Its like asking them what they fantasise about when they do it - the majority want to keep those thoughts to themselves.
Having just said that, ask him why he masturbates but doesn't have sex with you. Ask to do it for him or something! Suprise him in something really sexy or something. Or, what you might need to do is start again. Treat it as if you've not had sex with him yet and build up to it again because not having sex since February is quite some time, and suddenly jumping back to it might be difficult.
If you're happy with him, I wouldn't get rid of him. Clearly, you're serious about it because you've been together for so long. If this is the first major time that you've questioned your relationship, don't throw it all away yet. Give it a second chance. If he still fancies you and loves you, he won't let you.
If, as you say, he's never really been bothered about sex, then fair enough. He might not want it often, but if you enjoy it, he shouldn't be depriving you of it just because he's not fussed.
2006-12-14 18:30:42 · answer #2 · answered by x_Little_Miss_Kitty_x 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well there's a few possibilities. No sex in 10 months is strange.
My one thought is that he may have a porn addiction. If he's wanking it, then it's likely to something. Unfortunately when some is addicted to porn, the same standard porn gets old and his desires will get more hardcore. You won't do it for him either. Check his browser history or his browser cookies.
The other possibilities is that he is old. Guys at 36 are slowing down hard. Though if he still wanks it that must mean he still has a libido.
A more remote possibility is that he's cheating or he's a closet butt pirate.
It's not that sex is the end all of relationships but it is a part of it. Sex isn't everything, but it is something. If he can't understand what you are looking for, look elsewhere.
2006-12-14 23:26:31 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A 13-year age gap is quite large. You were, what 18 and he 31, when you got together? Older men quite enjoy having younger women fancy them. Soon, the novelty wears off for them; off they go in search of another 18-year-old. Even though they're older and gap widens. Dismiss him.
2006-12-14 18:17:42 · answer #4 · answered by Mary W 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No your not doing anything wrong. Sex isnt everything in a relationship. If you two dont talk a lot anymore, then maybe you need to ask him whats up. If sex is the only thing that you two arent doing then i think its ok. Maybe he jus wants a break. Hope i helped.
2006-12-14 18:13:33 · answer #5 · answered by Dani 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We have a variety of sex life, hand-job, ********, screw? Understand, girl? You must be a cambridge graduate, you know how to correctly spell masturbates? Most men do even in their 60s.
2006-12-14 18:14:24 · answer #6 · answered by Beckham 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been married with my wife for 2 years and sex with me and her SUCK. men just get tired of the same old sex. need to spice it up a bit. try new stuff.
2006-12-14 18:13:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to spice things up a bit. talk about your fantacies and act them out if you can. try toys and differant places, watch films, do some sexy dancing or striptease, turn him on so badly that he cannot resist you.
2006-12-18 07:21:31 · answer #8 · answered by Fallen Angel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
been there on this one love.
and it wasnt a happy ending
i think it may be time to move on
i dont think its coz he doesnt fancy you....... i just think hes not bothered about sex
2006-12-14 18:20:10 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
rong
For all the single ones out there looking for romance:
http://gogo.kubera.ro/passion/passion.html
2006-12-14 18:12:21 · answer #10 · answered by mr johnson 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋