My boyfriend is talking about his mother staying with us in our two bedroom apartment in the living room on an air matress after i have the baby. (Like that week her be there when i leave the hospital to come home) The baby is in one room and we have the other. There is no room. plus the baby probably wont sleep all nite then when i get up to get him she'll be in the living room. And what if i want to watch tv or eat something She'll be right there HOW DO I TELL HIM TO MAKE HER GET A HOTEL ROOM? She can visit all day long but she needs to leave at some point durring the day. What do i do? I don't want to be rude or mean but i can't see that working out!!
2006-12-14 09:22:57 · 25 answers · asked by kittens1377 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Its not that i dont want her to visit but at some point durring the day I need her to leave. I just don't want to sound bossy or rude.
2006-12-14 09:55:54 · update #1
Coming from someone who has been there, establish that boundary now. Be honest, but nice, about how much this makes you uncomfortable. It is a very trying time and if you're the type of person that needs her space, then your boyfriend's mother will drive you crazy. I liked to sit on our couch when I fed the baby because it was more comfortable, but you would be confined to a bedroom if his mother were sleeping on the floor. Your comfort is most important at that time in your life.
2006-12-14 09:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this is your first baby, you don't know how you are going to feel after you have one. If it's only for a week you should let her stay. I was so exhausted after both my kids, I wish I had someone there to help me or just so I could sleep for more than what seemed like 5 minutes. You could send her on errands to get her out of the house. Grocery store, pay bills, this and that, whatever. I don't mean to sound rude but; you should feel grateful that your husband cares enough to actually think about YOU like that and if she agrees you shoudl be grateful for that. Don't you have a cradle or a bassinette for the baby to sleep in for a while, he/she will be too small for the crib for a little bit. In a basinette the baby can be mobile and easily moved out of your room into the inlaws hands if you need to get some sleep. Put the baby in with you and the mother in the baby's room on the air matress. Best of luck with the baby.
2006-12-14 10:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by bellbottombleus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just talk to him nicely...are you sure you won't want any of her help?? You may need it. Babies can be really energy draining, especially to someone who has just given birth. I know exactly how you feel. If mine said his mom was staying I would just tell him I want my privacy and I don't want any extra people under toe the day I come home. And if it doesn't work remember this: when a baby comes into a family EVERYBODY wants to be a part of it. After about a month or so the excitement dies down and you wil have all the space you need. just take advantage of any help you can get. Good luck!
2006-12-14 09:29:33 · answer #3 · answered by monkeysgirl04 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is an extreme response on her aspect. I one hundred% comprehend her now not in need of to allow you to have intercourse in her dwelling, however eliminating a medication you are taking is immoderate to me. I might sit down down and say you wish a peaceful dialogue, agree no elevating voices earlier. Explain that you're doing this as a precaution/for intervals/and many others. Ask her why she is towards the tablet. Then move from there. I used to be raised to believe beginning manage used to be a foul factor- that it precipitated melanoma, might result in infertility, and many others. It used to be all a scare tactic. Once I admitted I used to be sexually energetic (this used to be at age 19) my mother simply stated good enough, you greater watch out. I believe like with my possess children I will set limitations, however now not lie or manage. Good success!
2016-09-03 16:29:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of either of you two having it solely one way or the other, compromise. Tell him upfront that you are uncomfortable with the thought, but say you don't mind "testing" it out first. Then he will feel that his thoughts are being respected, and that you care about his mother's generosity. Then, if things go bad, tell him privately, and he may agree. If he doesn't, he will know that you were against this in the first place, and a true gentleman would put his wife ahead of his mother.
Openly talk about everything. Oops, I forgot he isn't your husband. Hope things go well for you.
2006-12-14 09:27:45 · answer #5 · answered by rawlings12345 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Honey, this might be the hormones talking, but I don't want your mom staying here 24x7 when the baby comes home"...end of story.
"It's not right she has to sleep on the air mattress--in fact, why dont we give up OUR bed and WE can sleep on the air mattress"..
see what Mr. Mommy-Boy says after THAT suggestion.
And I'm sure she just wants to be thisclose to the new grandchild, it's not her fault. Grammy's are like that, kid.
2006-12-14 09:25:26 · answer #6 · answered by Munya Says: DUH! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So many women have this problem, Just tell it like it is because you need to get used to having a bub and you don't need anyone else around to tell you what your doing wrong.I can imagine that's why she is wanting to stay to but in when you need to figure it out for yourself. Good luck though
2006-12-14 09:30:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you might want her around for at least a few days after the baby comes... but really just tell him that you appreciate the offer, but you would feel more comforatble with the option of having her available, but not IN your house. claim a desire to bond with the baby, let him know it's important to you to know how much you can handle before calling in for help. etc...
2006-12-14 09:27:22 · answer #8 · answered by cadillacrazy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont blame you... im going to tell you a TRUE story. my cousin had the same exact problem. her boyfriends mom came right after she gave birth to their daughter, and she was miserable as all get up....DONT DO IT.. your boyfriend probably thinks that you need the help, and thats why he told her to come, but nip that shi* in the bud now, or you may regret it.
just tell him that you dont want her there.. plain and simple, girl, you are about the give birth to this mans baby. trust me YOU have the right to say whatever is on your mind... plus its your house!!!!
2006-12-14 09:28:45 · answer #9 · answered by apple martini 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simple, all you have to do is say the following: "dear boyfriend father to be, you know how much I love you and your dear mother. After the birth of our precious child, I DON'T WANT YOUR MOTHER TO STAY WITH US!!!!" You can also add a few grgrgrgrgr if you want.
2006-12-14 09:29:13 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋