My boyfriend and I did "it" unprotected. I've missed a period. Took the test and I'm pregnant. He suspects it, but how do I tell him for sure. Who can I get to help me. I don't believe in abortion, so what should I do. I don't know if I could deal with putting the thing i gave life to up for adoption. Help please.
2006-12-14 09:15:05 · 38 answers · asked by Megan H 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
You need to talk to your boyfriend, but FIRST talk to your school counselor and your parents. They can help you out a lot. It's something hard to say, but the truth will come out anyway...especially since you won't have an abortion...you'll grow and get bigger and people will see that and know. Even if you are going to put your child up for adoption or keep it, someone has to know. That will ensure the healthiest start for your baby b/c you won't have the stress of worrying about how to hide it.
The only reason I say talk to your parents and counselor before your boyfriend is so that he won't persuade you to do things you don't want to do. I'm not saying he's a bad guy, but he'll be nervous too...and since you can't flat out tell him then there's something that's bothering you about it. Seek help and a doctor immediately....it's the best bet for that baby!
2006-12-14 09:19:34 · answer #1 · answered by Hootie562 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All I can truly say is pray for guidance. Have you spoken or informed you parents of your situation? This decision is very delicate, because you yourself is just baby. Then the question moves into how old is your boyfriend, because you must remember this not only affects you, but also him.
What I would suggest is to go to your parents and if you are afraid to go to them, then go somewhere like planned parenthood and have a counselor help you to find a way to discuss it with them.
You may not believe in aborting your pregnancy, but how easy do you think it will be to place your child up for adoption. Also think about the stress that you are going to placed on, not only physically but also emotionally.
But again sweetie pray for direction and guidance, and talk with your parents. They maybe a little upset and hurt at first, but you need them right now. Peace and Blessings
2006-12-14 09:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by Proud Momma of 4mth old Boy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First off, go to your parents. You need to just break it to them that you are pregnant. Then depending on whether or not they have insurance on you, you need to get to an ob doctor to confirm the pregnancy and start going for regular visits. If you don't have health insurance then you need to get to a health clinic in your area and apply for medicaid. The sooner the better on prenatal care. And because you are so young you may need to be monitored more closely.
How old is your boyfriend? Will he be able to help financially? Ultimately it is you and your familys decision on adoption. Some alternative schools have it to where you can go there pregnant and when you have your baby it can go to daycare there. You NEED to finish school. That is the best future if you decide to keep this child. It WILL be hard, but other girls do it ALL the time. I wish you luck!
2006-12-14 09:21:29 · answer #3 · answered by flredneckgal_21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him in email or in a letter and ask him what he wants to do such as be a part of the babies life or not and after he tells you then go to your mother and tell her your pregnant.
You should check out justmommies.com and go to teen pregnancy/teen mommy forum there are plenty of young girls there who are your age and pregnant or have a baby.
Do not listen to these UNEDUCATED MORONS saying you should give the baby up for adoption so it can have a good life, a baby can have just as good of life as any baby born to two 30 year old married people. As for the ones saying it will runi your life, yet again uneducated morons. Plenty of teenage moms go on to graduate high school and go to college.
I had a baby at 16 and here I am 19 and am in college, yes it was hard but I did it and plnety of teen moms on that justmommies site had babies and graduated or are in college.
Having a baby as a teen can make things a lot harder but it does not ruin anything unless you let it.
2006-12-14 11:08:09 · answer #4 · answered by Diamonds_Glow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No matter what age you are it is hard having kids. I have two of my own. My advice to you would be to first try talking to your parents. If they are anything like mine they will be pretty upset but know that is natural coming from a parent. If you can't go to you parents try a friends parent that is responsible and go to your local health department for assistance. Don't give your baby up for adoption. It will be hard later trust me. There are so many programs out here to help you and your unborn. Medicaid to pay for the pregnancy, etc. once they establish proof of pregnancy you will be qualified to receive assistance. And as far as the boy goes. Know that regardless, a baby doesn't hold on to a man. If he walks away, he will regret it later. Stay Strong and handle your business. God put things in our paths for a reason. I don't condone teen pregnancy but this baby will now make a woman of you so get the strength and by all means finish school and get with the proper sources to assist you. God Bless and if you need any further assistance you are welcome to email me.
2006-12-14 11:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by Margaritta 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a decision you need to think about long term as in can you raise a child? Will you have support? Where do you want to be in life and can you get to that point and raise a child at the same time? You dont believe in abortion...well i do because so often there are parents that are so young that do have children and they cant cope and the child ends up beaten or in some worse case scenarios dead....sorry but its a fact im not saying you would do any im answering a question you asked.But on the other hand some people cant mentally deal with abortion.You did "it" unprotected and you are 14 hun think about it and think about it hard this is a decision you will deal with for the rest of your life.And way down the track if you are living in a slummy neighbourhood the chances of this child getting involved in bad stuff is gonna be high.I dont really care of what ppl think on what i say im speaking my mind and i am speaking from experience.How ever if you do have a support system in place and you feel you can do this by all means go ahead if you feel you can be a responsible parent ,changing nappies,coping with constant crying(in some babies),the terrible 2 tantrums,missing your social life because you are off to daycare,playgroup,kindy etc.,the cost of clothing schooling food and that list never ends.That is just some of the stuff and yes its scary and i have the balls to say it....no one did to me. Dont get me wrong i love my son to death that i gave birth too when i was 17 but i never ever realised the impact it would have on my life FOREVER.You are probaly a good kid and i am not choosing to scare you i am choosing to let you know the facts....seriously you need to go to a counsellor and talk and cry and get out what ever it is you need to get out and have an adult who has probaly seen this sort of thing before help you think things through long term....Best of luck with what ever decision you make and i mean that from the bottom of my heart...one piece i can offer you is never say no to help,it can be the hardest thing to do but its the most gutsiest thing to do.
2006-12-14 09:50:25 · answer #6 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_of_3 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
1) i am totally with u on th abortion thing but their is still adoption i was adopted when i was 5 days old and i have heard all of the your kid will be messed up emotionally crap and none of it is true
i have always known that i was adopted and my life is great !
2) tell your parents they love you so much that they will not even think about what u had to do to get pregnant because they will be to busy thinking about yours and your baby's health
3)tell the guy and if he doesn't stand by u then you know u can't
be pregnant because that means he has no balls
P.S. stay strong about abortion because that is a human life
2006-12-14 09:43:52 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hey hun. First off, take a deep breath. Make a list of the pros and cons of keeping the baby. I have a best friend who go pregnant at 14 and i was there the whole time for her. tell your parents, they will be upset but they will most likely want to help you. Telling the boyfriend is next. He'll most likely be angry, give him a couple days to cool off then go and talk to him again. Goodluck sweetheart. and never let anyone bring u down =)
2006-12-14 10:42:08 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole8 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell your parents and then tell your boyfriend. You need to go to the doctors asap to start pre-natal care.
If you dont believe in abortion or adoption, dont. Its not your parents decision what happens to your baby, its your decision.
Congrats, i know you are scared and worried of what will happen, let someone know that wont freak out about it first, so you have some support, maybe ask that person to come with you to tell you parents.
Good Luck With Everything x
2006-12-14 09:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a 14 yr. old daughter, and if she came to me that she was pregnant, I would support her. In that however, I would never encourage her to have an abortion. I would encourage her to place her child for adoption. I am adopted myself and so is my daughter and son, so we have 3 people in a family of 4 that could have been aborted but mine and their birth mom chose life. I do not know where you live, but I know that there are pregnancy help clinics all over that have counselors ready to help you make an informed decision. Abortion only adds to the problem. Besides taking the life of the baby, you can injure yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. You need to tell you boyfriend however. He needs to know. I pray that your parents will be supportive. A 14 yr old is too young to raise a child, but not to young to make a very wise decision to carry the baby and then place it in a home that wants to have a child, Today adoption laws are so open that you can select the parents for your child, and have ongoing relationship with them if you chose,
2006-12-14 09:26:36 · answer #10 · answered by AdoreHim 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋