i'm 24 and my girl 23, before our baby was born our sex life was great. Now it's terrible, she always says she is tired and stressed out.
2006-12-14 08:58:22 · 21 answers · asked by murieldebeer@btinternet.com 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
our son is now 17 months.
2006-12-14 09:16:44 · update #1
Stress can sabotage sex drive
Imagine this scenario:
You and your girl are naked in bed together. Then, all of a sudden, a stranger barges into the room with a gun. You've just lost all interest in sex, and now the only plan you have for your privates is keeping them out of harm's way. In short, you've reprioritized your activities as a survival instinct. This is an extreme example, but any kind of stress -- whether related to baby, work, relationships or any other area of life -- that preoccupies someone is going to diminish that person's sex drive. In order to have a healthy libido, one has to be engaged in the moment -- not angry or hurt.
2006-12-14 10:18:56 · answer #1 · answered by john w 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well she will be tired and stressed with a new baby, that's natural, but won't last for ever. After a while you'll get into a routine and things will be better then. You just need to work at this together, that means you helping her with the baby, which you may all ready be doing. It will make her less tired and stressed, and will improve your relationship. The rest will follow naturally. Just remember that being a new mum can be a very scary thing. Wish you all the best.
2006-12-14 09:11:04 · answer #2 · answered by ash 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient and life can get better. You need to understand what has happened to your girl and yourself and how life as a family has changed things. Be supportive and do the little kind gestures, breakfast in bed, morning cuppa or daily hug which makes you a good boyfriend.
Build some romantic time together, bathtimes, sofa time, get a babysitter and spend some hours together, this should help.
2006-12-14 09:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by kenjinuk 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course it will if you give it a little time. You don't say how long ago your baby was born but if in the last few months, especially if your girl is breastfeeding, she will still have hormones raging and be very, very tired.
Give it time, support her, chill together when you can - and then it will come back ....
Best of luck - enjoy the baby together as much as you can - you only get one go at it.
2006-12-14 09:03:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You've almost answered the question yourself. She's told you why - it's because she's feeling tired and stressed out. If you can help her with that then you'll both be fine. Make sure she's got time to be your girl again and not just a mum.
2006-12-14 10:15:52 · answer #5 · answered by goulash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a mum is damned hard work! Try helping her out as much as possible. Treat her to a night out with all the trimmings and make her feel like a sexy woman again, rather than just mum and housewife.;
2006-12-14 10:18:35 · answer #6 · answered by huggz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll be utterly knackered. She has to deal with her love for the child that has emerged from her body, and her love for you, who have given her that child.
I may be wrong here, but us men, when it comes to our sex drive, can be like the Panda - eats, shoots and leaves. Your girl may well be totally bushed from the process of birth and the mechanism of lactation, not to mention her efforts to look after the bairn when it grizzles.
I am not knocking you - you could well be the ultimate supporting father, and you could well be working hard, and coming home and cooking good meals for your wife to enjoy and gain sustenance therefrom.
Be very loving, and very supportive. Your girl has had her vagina yanked apart. Us men have no experience of the physical act of childbirth. We do love our children to death and beyond - that is in the male psyche - to defend. It is also in our psyche to reproduce. Take matters in hand until your girl is ready again, and demonstrate your love by working, cooking, washing and ironing, and changing nappies. When she is ready, you will again experience the ecstacy of her wandering hand.
2006-12-14 09:38:48 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try helpin her out with things that you might have done before. cleanin, cookin, extra help with the baby. its a lot of work when you have another person to look after when youre husband/boyfriend doesnt help out with the daily chores. when she has less to do around the house and see you are helpin out things will get better.
2006-12-14 10:40:23 · answer #8 · answered by oreosrevenge 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah and how much sleep is your wife getting with the baby
sad but thats parenthood
maybe when he is gone to school?!!! only another 3.5 years!!
try and slip one in during the day when baby is sleeping and mum still has some energy!
2006-12-14 09:34:52 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Womens 'drive' improves up to approx 36 years of age, us men go downhill from 18 !!!
2006-12-14 09:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by iusedtolooklikemyavatar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋