well basically im married and have been for nearly 4 years now everyday i have gotten into the habbit of making my husbands breakfast and lunch and packing it up for him for work i make him toasted sandwiches for breakfast and hot food for lunch(leftover dinner etc) but latley he has been not eating his breakfast and throwing it in the bin and i keep finding these sandwiches in the bin which is obviously annoying to me coz its a waste of my time and food.i confronted him and he said he just doesnt have time to eat it,but then this kept going on and he finally told me the real reason is that he thinks they are boring. thats why he throws them away so i said "fine im not making ur breakfast or lunch anymore" find ur own lunch...mind you he never makes his own lunch or breakfast EVER actually he doesnt do anything but go to work come home eat watch tv go to bed...and i do everything for him and he still complains that i dont do things for him i mean come on he cant even tie his own tie..
2006-12-14 08:55:40 · 14 answers · asked by Sexy_mum24 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have a 2 year old daughter also so im busy with her during the day,and another thing he expects me to have all his shirts ironed and in the cupboard basically he wants me to do everything for him and i get no help in return he doesnt even want to change his daughters nappy ever he refuses to unless he has to incase of an emergency like if i got to hospital or something.we sat down and spoke about this last night and he just seemed to WANT everything from me and i said well what do u do for me?NOTHING exactly...so why do i have to treat you like my second child...and to make matters wosre i found out i was 5 weeks pregnant the other day..so god help me..
2006-12-14 09:13:17 · update #1
I think that you spoiled him and now he doesn't appreciate anything that you do for him because he learned how to take it for granted! Why don't you stop doing things for him and watch what happens, but don't show him that you are upset, just be happy and always in a good mood, but at the same time don't do anything that you usually do for him and see what he says, he will learn to appreciate all the great things that you do and learn to respect your hard work!
2006-12-14 09:01:11 · answer #1 · answered by wantstoknow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, in my opinion you've been doing a lot and that's good. It takes both people to achieve a successful relationship. Sometime your partner DOES take you for granted... and doesn't do very much.
Try this..... at the right time... get in an animated talk with him regarding your life, your relationship.... and ask him for his thoughts, what he likes, what he wants...... make sure he knows along the way that you really wish to know his thoughts (and that you want to know everything, that nothing he says would bother you)... be honest and accept what he says with grace and honor.
Think on it for a few days, mull it over and see what you can do to make things better. Come back to talk with him and let him know your thoughts, and what you'll work on do be better. See what I'm suggesting is a positive and proactive approach that goes toward making the relationship better. When you tend to 'pay' negativity (i.e. him just sitting around and then going to bed) with your own negativity.... it simply spreads hate and discontent, and now neither of you have a reason to make up and do better.
Seems one-sided, huh? Wellllllllllllllllllllllllll :) it DOES seem that way, but from a psychological standpoint, he'll start to feel a tad guilty, like... what's up with all her giving... um, I wonder what "I" could be doing better. When one person in the relationship thinks the otherone should be doing more---you are probably right. your spouse probably could be doing more---yet, what more can 'YOU' do? huh? think about it, as the more you DO in the relationship, the less your spouse has to complain about. Then, its very appropriate to gently, tenderly and lovingly discuss where your relationship is really at at this point in time; actively LISTEN to each other, discuss things positively (leave the negatives and accusations OUT), seek to understand THEIR point of view and then move to make decisions on what to do next. You'll find THIS approach has FAR more opportunities for success than, sitting him down and telling him to do more. :)
My email is here so you can email me afterwards, let me know if it was a way you could become more successful.
Wish you all the best, especially at these holidays!
2006-12-14 17:00:42 · answer #2 · answered by megettingbetter 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it sounds like your efforts to make you "husband" happy/appretiated have gone unknown. You should honestly sit him down after work, while you both are relaxed and have a conversation about how you feel. And dont just talktohim about the lunch issue but confront him on all the issues that you are having, because if you dont explain to him how it feels to be in your position then he is never going to know.
2006-12-14 17:02:52 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say you did the right thing... there is no need in wasting your money or time on something he is going to throw away.
I dont want to start crap or anything because you guys have been together for so long, but maybe he has had lunch dates and eats out.
2006-12-14 17:01:13 · answer #4 · answered by melissa 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your life sounds terribly dull. Especially because this is the only thing you seem to have a gripe about.
Lay off. If that's the way things are you either make it a point to discuss your dislikes with him rationally or put a lid on it and go on with life.
2006-12-14 17:08:55 · answer #5 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask him what he would like sometimes make him feel that his lunch was made specially for him with love and not routinely as a chore. Experiment with food and share with him how you would like to know how much he enjoyed it.
Anything routine can become boring, just spruce it up, sometimes same items just different packaging will work.
good luck
2006-12-14 17:09:15 · answer #6 · answered by Reenell W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not a child and you are not his mother. He is a man, he works and he is perfectly able to find nourishment on his own whenever he feels like it. There is nothing wrong with BK or a restaurant like all of his co-workers do.
I know that you mean well but he is not in Elementary school anymore.
Good luck
2006-12-14 17:02:24 · answer #7 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he's not satisfied, he may never be. Stop doing anything and 1 of two things will happen:
He'll either realize what he had. or He'll think you're a piss of crap.
If the later happens, dump his @ss and move on. He's obviously one of those guys who will never be happy w/ anything or anyone.
2006-12-14 17:09:52 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you're his maid, you did right by telling him to do it himself but if you stop thats one more thing he has to complain about. Whats wrong with some people it's much more things to worry about $hit my wife don't even prepare me breakfast ever
2006-12-14 17:03:24 · answer #9 · answered by Great one 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is common for one spouse or both to get complacent and lazy
in the marriage...Your hubby needs a wake up call....
2006-12-14 17:11:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋