My son Inlaw cheated on my daughter twicethe first time while they were still dating . They have been married 8 yrs. and have 3 boys. He claims it was an emotional affair. I don't believe him. Out in a park at 3:00 a.m. drinking. Dozens of cell phone calls. Even called the other woman at my house Thanksgiving day and told my husband he was talking to his Mother. We have alway treated are son inlaw with respect. This is painful for my daughter but she has taken him back. My son inlaw is not a good example for my grandsons. My husband and I don't want him back in are home are we wrong?
2006-12-14 08:15:31 · 32 answers · asked by denisemo s 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
No, you are correct..
2006-12-14 08:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Heck no yall are not wrong for not wantin him back in yall home. He has some nerve to put your daughter and you guys through that. Emotional affair? What emotional affair? First of all, if he has a family, he shouldn't be in yall home any way. He should be out providing for his family. And secondly, he has a nerve to cheat and want to come back. For what? It is obvious he wasn't thinkin about that when he went out and did what he did. Your daughter is wrong for takin him back. The only thing is that he can't stay at the other woman house so he has to have some where to lay his head and some where to go when he need a fix, if you know what I mean. It is awful and I feel sorry for you and your daughter. I would kick his sorry behind to the curb. If your daughter doesn't like it, I would tell her to join him. Put your foot down b/c it appear to me that home boy think he is going to have his cake and eat it too:) NOT!
2006-12-14 08:23:14 · answer #2 · answered by jetta 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
While you don't agree with your daughters choice, there are more feelings to think of than your own. First of all, there is your daughters feelings. She apparently wants to try and work things out and you should respect that decision. Regardless of how wrong you feel she is. Secondly, and most importantly, are the kids feelings. If you outcast thier father, that could create feelings of resent towards either you or towards their father. I believe the children should be sheilded from the emotional pains of an adulterous parent as much as reasonably possible. Lastly, this could cause your daughter and their children not to visit as much...causing your bond with the children to slowly dwindle. As wrong as infidelity is, if your daughter thinks he is changing, don't treat her as though she is mentally lacking. Just be there for her when she needs you, and give him the opportunity to prove he's changed. Best of luck, especially with the holdiay season in full swing. Remember the children first....
2006-12-14 08:25:48 · answer #3 · answered by MACmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before each and every thing an emotional affair is the worst variety. 2d of all of your daughter has made her decision to take him lower back. Now you haven't any decision yet to settle for him at your position of residing for the grandchildrens sake. you do not choose them to be any extra harm or stricken by this indiscression than they already are. i'm particular their abode isn't very rosey those days. Make your position a mushy position to fall, even if it ability dealing with the guy who disrespected your daughter. he's a husband and a father who has alot to educate now. provide him that risk.
2016-11-26 19:36:55 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope you are real parents and that's whats up. if your daughter wants to be an emotional mess then by all means let her make her own mistakes. on the other hand you nor your husband have to put up with his nonsense so i say dont let the bum in an let him know why, it's your home and cheaters are not allowed and if your daughter does not like it then she can stay on the other side of the door with him . just let her know the when she comes to her senses you will always be there for her and the kids .because she is gonna need place to stay as well as a shoulder to cry on because he is gonna keep doing it because she keeps letting him back . lol and HAPPY HOLIDAYS
2006-12-14 08:24:07 · answer #5 · answered by sexyswells42 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
While it is your house and your rules, it is ultimately up to your daughter on if she is going to be with him or not. I say, let him come into your house again, but be very indifferent to him. Do not act as if you are happy to see him since you aren't and don't do things you would've normally done for him. Just don't make a huge deal out of it so that the children don't get hurt. If you find some alone time with him, talk to him about how his actions hurt you, not only because it hurt your daughter, but because you loved him too, and he let you down. Then, go from there on how he reacts to your conversation on how you will treat him in the future. Good luck...
2006-12-14 08:22:49 · answer #6 · answered by NestleGirl 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It is your house, but she is your daughter. I was in a relationship like this for 8 years before I realizes what a huge mistake I was making. The more people who tried to point out his faults the more I tried to defend him. When my mother finally let it go and just supported me I began to realize what I was doing. By not letting him into your home you are putting a wedge between you and your daughter. You are also giving your son-in-law the opportunity to give your grandsons what ever excuse he wants as to why he is not allowed in. My advice is this. It is like watching your child get his/her first wound. It is just as painful for you to watch as it is for them to feel, but with enough love they will get through this hurt too. Just be there to fully support her.
2006-12-14 08:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Shel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your home, your rules. But how is this going to effect you and your daughters relationship? She has to be the one that deals with her own stuff, love her support her and catch her when she falls. She'll know when enough is enough. She doesn't need everyone making her miserable, she has enough crap on her plate.
Forgiveness is a very important tool, maybe you should start this lesson with yourselves and your grandsons will learn a very valuable thing from you.
2006-12-14 08:22:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nope. If your daughter wants to be played for a nitwit what can you do? Of course it hurts but she's the master of her own destiny. If she whines because this is your stance on this tough. You are entitled to your opinions based upon your morals and after all...it is your house.
If she holds the grandkids hostage because of this and you don't get to see them (as most females do...always using the kids as tools) then thats worse. The sad part about it is he won't change and your daughter will eventually get fed up with it. of course she'll never take responsibilty for her original screw up so be prepared to hear her complain and whine because of her own stupidity.
2006-12-14 08:28:50 · answer #9 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it's your home, and if you feel uncomfortable having him there, then he doesn't need to be there, and it sounds like he's taken every opportunity to disrespect you, your daughter, and your home. You have a right to say who stays and who goes. Talk to your daughter and tell her how you feel.
And I agree with "sexyswell..." it is your daughter's mistake to make, but you don't have to enable this unfaithful bag of crap by providing a roof over his head while he sees other women. "Emotional affair"? Give me a break.
2006-12-14 08:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by wendy g 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your daughter is not a sl ut and therefore you have to make this cristal clear. He should no longer be welcomed to your house or to any family gathering. Explain to your daughter that you love her to death and hate to see her hurting. Tell her that everytime she hurts you hurt too. Let her know that if she wants to stay with him, that is her decision but that this is your house and he is no longer welcomed. You need to teach that dirty bastardo that he needs to respect your daughter. Once a cheater always a cheater, and I bet it wasnt only a conversation they had.
2006-12-14 08:42:52 · answer #11 · answered by Leyanis 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋