Why do many black men try to intimidate people?

Question

First, I have a few black friends-- they're pretty preppy.

My city is in the bay area and is about 35-40% latino, 25-30% black, 20% asian. I've noticed that black men try to intimidate me a lot more than anyone else. I'm a pretty confident person and when I hold eyes with someone they typically look away first... and quickly at that. But many black men always look at me like they want to hurt me. I didn't do anything to them! It really bugs me that they try to intimidate people as if they are better than them and that they act as if they have no rules or respect for others. Even if I smile, I get the mug from them! What's up? When I raise kids, I'm thinking about moving to suburbia to get away from all of the ghettoness and poverty and unhappiness of this area!

I lived in a most upper-class white city in Washington state for 2 years, maybe 85% white, 8% asian, and in this city. I also served in the us army (very diverse) for 4 years and i've been around. Oh, I'm asian btw.

In response to one of the answers, I felt like I should state that my black friends were preppy to relate the difference in what I've noticed between income brackets and friendliness.

On more significant thing to add... I did have a some black friends when I was in the army-- and many didn't come from high income brackets. But i think what brought us together was the uniforms. I noticed that when everyone was in uniform, we were all green (cheesy I know, but true).

In response to the best answer I chose:

You know, I am stereotyping to a degree. And I'm sure I do have some lack of acceptance because I don't understand. And you are right on a second count. I notice I do sometimes go looking for fault with those different than myself-- i think many people do (working on fixing that).

So maybe it's not a blanket statement that all black men try to intimidate people... But many have tried to intimidate me and my family before. My dad was jumped by a black guy in oakland when I was little. I know--and that doesn't make all black men bad. And that is one extreme example. But many times when black guys look at me on the street they are looking at me with mean eyes. And I can't change the way I feel when our eyes are held. I feel threatened. My symphathetic nervous system goes into overdrive... It shouldn't be like that. My body is telling me something is wrong.

In any case, very insightful answer. Thanks. Merry Christmas.

Answer 1

This is so interesting. Let me get on my soapbox just a second - now I've encountered Asians that always look at me with distrusting eyes until they get to know me - but I don't then ramble and say many Asian people look at me funny and have an excessive paranoia. I don't stress about it because I know perhaps they've encountered people that they cannot trust but once they expand and meet others - they will see everyone cannot be lumped into one description.

I just find it totally interesting because every culture has its good and bad qualities but yet the only one people seem to focus on are African-Americans. You can have an African-American who smiles seven days straight but let him/her walk into the office one day looking a little down and people are ready to say he/she has an attitude just like all the other blacks that they know.

Come on - let's get above this putting 'this type of behavior' and 'that type of behavior' on a certain group. If we'd stop trying to find fault with those who are different than us and get over our own racially inclined egos - we'd quickly learn the problem isn't always with the other man but instead lies right within us with lack of acceptance for things we do not understand.

Answer 2

Well it seems as if you do your fair share of trying to intimidate others(when I hold eyes they usually look away first) I'm sure not ALL black men try to intimidate you. Maybe the ones that do are responding to your stare down attitude. Try a different approach. Maybe what you are seeing and/or feeling is YOU and not the other person(s).

Answer 3

Look at some of the people who won medals in combat sports at the Olympics, several Asians beat the crap out of black guys to win medals. I'm sorry if you got beaten up by some little Asian kid at school, but you have to let it go. I know it seems a big deal now but in a few years when you're a grown up you won't even think about it.

Answer 4

I don't think it's so much as black people trying to intimidate you, I think you have a problem. You said they look at you like they want to hurt you. Maybe that is in your head. I live on the east coast and you can't get much ruder people here and I have never felt intimidated by anyone from the way they looked at me. I think you have a problem with people who aren't in your income bracket. Not everyone is going to smile and want to make friends with you. People have their own things that's going on and they aren't really thinking much about you. I hope that you get those thoughts out of your head when you approach any color of people from now on. Stop analyzing so much and be polite. There are going to be people out there who just aren't going to like you and you need to get over that. Thanks.

Answer 5

Maybe I can help you. First off, your friends are pretty preppy...why did you feel like you had to state that? The most common misconception that PEOPLE have is that one group of PEOPLE is just like another group. YOU will never understand why people do what they do. And second, just like you don't trust black people (except your *preppy* friends) they probably don't trust you...that's why the smile doesn't work. And third, why do you feel they are trying to intimidate you just because they don't smile back?

Answer 6

black men (or people) never intimidate me

people intimidate others as a sign of inferiority

Answer 7

Yo Jake ! Don't be starin' at me dude ! I see you co-opting my culture an stuff. Hey ! don't look away, I'm talkin' to you bro. Hangin' over there with your superior math skills, you know ?

Maybe you just have a distoroted anticipation of third world anger.
Maybe your preppie experinces haven't served you as well as you thought and in fact you're just paranoid.
Mybe you're reading to much into these glances, have you ever actually been attacked ?

Just relax. I'm sure the boogieman(sic) is not out to get you, but if it causes you that much discomfort, you should move out to the burbs. A gated community perhaps.

btw: I'm Puerto Rican....BOO!

Answer 8

i have noticed this to, i mean i have met some black people who want to get violent because they thought you looked at them funny or something, and when i go to the store and your trying to get by them or their trying to get by you they don't say excuse me or anything, they act like your not even there, i'm in an area where many blacks live and just from my experience i see them to be very rude to other races, i'm with you, surburbia here i come!

Answer 9

Because in nature the biggest and baddest get to breed. while you are evolved and have an advanced intellect, they are more unevolved then you. You judge people on honesty, loyalty, personality etc. They judge people on who has the most shinny stuff, teeth, chains, cups etc.Why do you think most of them like big shinny things. ever give a monkey a shinny object. They will all fight for it even though it means nothing. Sounds racest however, why do you think almost all have to rename themselves ie. p-dog,ice t, 50cent, pditty ect. You almost never meet a black guy who introduces himself as "hi I'm john smith". There name conveys "toughness like their bad ***". You are more evolved!

Answer 10

be cause they are scared and weak and intimidateing is a good defence and is easy if one ever trys to itimidate you punch your self in the face tell you draw blood thats a good fun way to intimidate a intimidater the vikings were masters of it