ok; my kids are ages 3yrs, 2yrs and 10 months old. they have an older brother who is 5yrs old that was adopted out... this happened due to a jealous family realitve who didn't mind messing my life over because she can't have kids. Now here's my question; I know the kids are too young to understand about their brother... how old should they be when I tell them? I don't want to wait too long so if anybody has any experience with this sort of thing plz. help!!!
2006-12-14 07:33:21 · 6 answers · asked by kattz1111 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
you should start telling them now that way when they are old enough to understand they are not suprised by it. telling them now would be best. trust me i have been through something like this as a kid when i found out my sister was not my mothers daughter and then her birth mother took custody. i was devastated and always wished i had known so i would have been better able to understand the whole thing. you should tell them so they don't feel like that.
2006-12-14 07:52:31 · answer #1 · answered by littleluvkitty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A family in my neighborhood growing up had three adopted children, all four years apart. They told them all at the same time. The youngest was four, the middle was 8, and the oldest was 13.
End result:
Youngest was heartbroken, and didn't get it.
Middle adjusted
Oldest: Acted like a crazy teenager and obsessed about finding her "real" parents for years.
my advice would be to wait until they are between 7-9 years old before you talk to them about adoption.
2006-12-14 15:38:14 · answer #2 · answered by akristel2003 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WHAT? You gave away one of your kids cause a family member was messing with your life?? So you gave her your kid?? Now you want to tell your kids??
I would wait until the kids are old enough to really understand and you have to ask the other relative if she is planning to tell her/your son the same.
Maybe you shouldn't tell them at all..........
2006-12-14 15:40:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
at this point, what would be the purpose for your kids to know?
They do not know what they are missing because he was never in their life. If you tell them at any point, it might affect them in a negative way. some secrets are meant to be left secrets.
2006-12-14 15:40:18 · answer #4 · answered by tcbtoday123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you tell them young it just becomes part of life and nothing special. If you wait then its part of a secret and wrong.
2006-12-14 15:48:47 · answer #5 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
start telling form the beginning so it is not shocking or strange to them, it will just be something they have always known, so now.
2006-12-14 15:38:18 · answer #6 · answered by Bombshell 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋