We have been together for four years we have one son I do everything for him i lay out his underwear and dress him i dont feel close to him anymore or even remotely special ro loved i am so depressed and ive told him but it seems he doesnt get it please help me i am going to jump off the deep end
2006-12-14 07:31:59 · 16 answers · asked by Ashley C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Four years i have given to this man and i cant seem to put my finger on it he never wants to have sex unless i say something he is always yelling i always feel like i am on the verge of tears i am so unhappy no we didnt have a honeymoon he spent all his christmas bonus on a stereo sytem for his truck and a crossbow
2006-12-14 07:43:59 · update #1
I really liked the comment about me going out and leaving dinner in the microwave but i am not really allowed to go out without his permission and if i quit laying his clothes out he will go in our bedroom turn all the lights on and be loud and wake the baby so i have to stay up with the baby (thomas sleeps with us) so if i want my life to run smothly then i have to make sure he is happy
2006-12-14 07:49:28 · update #2
I really liked the comment about me going out and leaving dinner in the microwave but i am not really allowed to go out without his permission and if i quit laying his clothes out he will go in our bedroom turn all the lights on and be loud and wake the baby so i have to stay up with the baby (thomas sleeps with us) so if i want my life to run smothly then i have to make sure he is happy
2006-12-14 07:49:38 · update #3
I really liked the comment about me going out and leaving dinner in the microwave but i am not really allowed to go out without his permission and if i quit laying his clothes out he will go in our bedroom turn all the lights on and be loud and wake the baby so i have to stay up with the baby (thomas sleeps with us) so if i want my life to run smothly then i have to make sure he is happy
2006-12-14 07:49:47 · update #4
sorry i went mouse happy
2006-12-14 07:50:54 · update #5
welcome to marriage
2006-12-14 07:34:23 · answer #1 · answered by student network noob 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's only been three weeks since you've been married, give it some time for you two to adjust. Unless you have been living like a family before hand. What is the difference in the relationship? Was it going bad and you two thought that getting married would make it better? Divorce is hard and expensive, try and work it out first.
2006-12-14 07:35:43 · answer #2 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Why did you marry him. It was only 3 weeks ago, surely the signs were there. I feel for you. You have a child and you are married, do what you need to do as far as saving your marriage. When you tell him these problems, make sure it's just you and him around, no tv, not driving in a car, no children, no distractions. Make sure he is paying attention and ask his feedback. Saying things like, "did you hear what I said"? Ask him to repeat back what he heard, sometimes people misinterpret what you are actually trying to say. God Bless and keep your head up
2006-12-14 07:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,I think you should resort to the same tactics that won him over the first time you met him,dress real nice and sexy,smell real good all over,send the kid to grandma for a night or weekend and give him the best attention you have inside of you,if you guys are not intimate,you are asking for trouble,the purpose of intimacy is to bring the two of you closer,without it,you will feel no different than a woman on the street to him,so you will have to find a way other than talking to get his attention.
2006-12-14 07:41:25 · answer #4 · answered by lolo rachi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This relationship is not working and unfortunately its not going to. Think about this...What type of mom do you want to be? Right now you may be thinking, "not a single one!" but if you continue on in this relationship you are not going to be any good for your son. A depessed prissoner in your own home, a personal slave to your husband is NOT the kind of mother you want for your son, is it? So you can raise your son to treat his wife the same way??? Break the cycle, stop letting him hurt you, be the mom your son deserves. I know how it feels to want desperately to please a husband and be perfect, but there is more to life! Your son is the most imporant man in your life now and you need to do whats best for him and that means you need to be a happy mommy! Get a divorce and dont stop praying.
2006-12-14 08:01:13 · answer #5 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing everything for him. I used to be just like you, and I got no respect. What was that line from "Ferris Beuhler's Day Off"? "You can't respect someone who kisses your a**" or something like that? I used to believe that if I "took good care of him" he would think I'm the best. I didn't get respect until I started doing my own thing. Still do some housework, but when it goes to pot and he says, "what the h***?" say "are your arms broken?". Men respect and notice women much more who stand up to them (but don't boss them around or control them, don't whine, and do their own thing). You can't possibly have any time to do anything you enjoy if you're doing so much of the housework that you're laying out his underwear for him.
2006-12-14 07:40:03 · answer #6 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, you need to nip this in the bud now, cause if not, it will be 30 yrs from now and you still wondering how did i get here. this is your chance to let him know look we are married, not i married you or you married me, we both took vows, so you need to start living up to your standards.
or you can let him see how it will be not to have you around, stop laying out his clothes, he is a grown man anyway, if his limbs are in working order, u dont need to dress him, you need to find you a couple of friends or girl family members, when he is home you get all dressed up and smelling good and you tell him dinner is in the microwave, have ur son in the bed at a decent hour, you will be back, you are going out to have some me time. and on your way out the door, tell him if he dont like whats happening, then he needs to snap out of it and get with the program.
2006-12-14 07:41:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made a mistake and your marriage, three weeks ago, shines a light on that mistake like nothing else.
See an attorney for a divorce or anullment and custody issues.
Get out now. It will only get worse.
You have a wonderful child from this relationship, perhaps this child is why you met this man, and now it is time to continue on with your life.
Be happy about your life, and your child. Pack this man's things up and explain to him how you feel, and that you know he doesn't love you because you should not have had to tell him twice.
I do feel sorry for those out there who think this situation is normal for marriage. It is not.
Paying attention to your spouse every day is necessary and what you signed up for.
2006-12-14 07:38:08 · answer #8 · answered by Liligirl 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
You all have been together for a while and have a kid together so making it legal changed nothing, did you all go on a honeymoon?, sorry if does not feel different but that's marriage.
2006-12-14 07:37:29 · answer #9 · answered by lara 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Married only 3 weeks? You're not growing apart you stopped being horny! Quit whinning and go get your freak on!
2006-12-14 07:37:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing everything for him. Make him help out taking care of the kid. Spend time on yourself. Try to force him to spend time with you. Most of all, talk to him about it.
2006-12-14 07:36:18 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋