What should you do if your spouse has cheated on you?

Answer 1

You have to make a choice, if you want you can stay and work it out, by talking or going to a counselor, or you can choose to leave the marriage.

Answer 2

I have been through this. I was the one cheated on. First, you have to get to the bottom of things because every affair has different reasons. It's complete garbage to say that affairs only happen if the marriage is in trouble (mine was definitely not in trouble). People have affairs for various reasons and you need to find out exactly why before you make any decisions or you could make a decision you will regret in the future. You need to remember that what people do is not about you, it's all about them and their life- stop blaming yourself!!! Take care of yourself. Remember to eat and if you can't, take vitamins and drink lots of water to make sure you stay healthy. Keep your mind busy. Lean on your friends- the good ones will be supportive, not judgemental in this situation. Get counselling for yourself regardless of if your spouse will go or not. Make a plan for better (it works out) and worse (you divorce) and make sure you don't agree to anything less than a fair deal. Above all, remember that however it turns out, you will be better off in the end because you will have grown immensely.

Answer 3

Everyone is different. Every reason is different. What most say to do is leave, or get even.
But you have to remember the love, and you both have to be able to talk about it, and talk it out no matter what.
You have to really think before you act in this kind of a situation, which is a very difficult thing to do.
Basically if you decide to stay you have to be able to still communicate with your spouse and work it out if thats what you both want to do.

Answer 4

I love how some folks are assuming the cheater is male. "Boot HIS sorry %^&." First you have to figure out if he/she is a serial cheater. If they are there might not be a lot of hope. If they arn't and it was a one time huge mistake then talk with them openly about it and get into counselling. Leaving them is by far the easy way out. Staying to work it out is more dificult, but can be more rewarding in the end if you can both come back together. If you decide to stay you both need to get into marriage counselling and counselling on a one on one basis. My wife and I worked it out and we have a better marriage than ever before. It can be done. You both have to be dedicated and extremely open with comunication. Neither one of you can hold anything back any longer. Talk when you feel problems coming up. Thats all marrage is. Comunication. No secrets. The rest tends to fall into place if the comunication is kept posotive.

Answer 5

That depends. How sorry is she and how forgiving are you? If she is going to do it again or if you won't be able to look at her without thinking about it, I'd say the relationship is over.... But if it was a onetime thing for her and you can work through it together, then good for you both! Just be on the lookout for subtle changes that may indicate a continuous problem... Best wishes!! ♥

Answer 6

You have 3 choices as I see it.

You can forgive them and work on the marriage.. IF they are willing to do the same.

You can divorce them and forgive them (what I did)

You can divorce them and not forgive them.

Those are the choices I thought I had at the time. My husband did not want to work on the marriage. He knew that if I found him cheating it would be the end.. he just wanted out and did not have the balls to do it himself. Talk about passive agressive.

I do have a dear friend and her husband cheated once.. they worked through it and now they really do have the best marriage I have ever seen.

Good luck to you.

Answer 7

Depends......how you feel about it honestly...you are the one that has to make the final decesion, and then live with it the rest of your life. Some couples work through it, and move on. Some it ends their realionship. But you really need to talk with your spouse about it.

Answer 8

Find out the reasons why and then act accordingly. Not that cheating is fully justifiable, but there is always two sides to every story. And no one is perfect.

Answer 9

wed like to say that neither of us are cheaters but if either of us cheated wed talk about it over but find out why the othr one had to cheat bc ur happy at home or in ur realtionship then u really should have no reason to cheat

Answer 10

If she cheated on you with a woman ask if you could join in the next time!