Why do girls always want what they cant have??

Question

I have two guys that I consistenly hook up with. One is long distance and he says "im the one" he treats me like a princess at all times. The other guy lives near me and treats me like s**t but I still want to be with him. How can I get over this jerk and see that I have someone who truly loves me??

Answer 1

Hi sam,

I used to go for the ones that were the worst ones, but eventually I grew out of being treated badly, It can take it's time when your self-esteem is low to get past these types of choices and we tend to choose these sorts of bad men because our own sense of self-worth isn't all that great.

If it were good, we wouldn't want to be with anyone who treated us like that.

These bad types are in fact, men who are emotionally and/or psychologically damaged in some way and who refuse to be any different because they beleive that it is acceptable to behave badly towards other people. What you want to do, is to rescue this type of man from his own fate and at the same time, allow yourself to go through abuse from him.

It takes a lot to break the cycle of abuse and abuse is emotional as it is physical and some men are either one or the other or both. Looking at these types for what they really are will make a difference to how you think about them - they are ill in some way and unable to withold a stable and secure relationship with any woman, but it is not your job to rescue that man from his plight and in my experiences, I can tell you quite honestly that he will resent you for trying to rescue or change him.

They will lead lonley lives, but no matter what your desires to be this type does, he will never commit to you emotionally or even physically and project all of his own misery and suffering onto you until you will never want to be with anyone like that again. Some men do change, but few do and they usually do it for themselves after some time of hiding behind an image they cannot maintain forever. Any man who acts rough and tough, tend to tire of it when they reach their mid fourties if they ever do.

The reason why you are attracted to this type of man is to do with your own sense of self=worth and how you value yourself and it took me time before I got to realise this for myself and now, I look at any man that is rough and feel disgust because I see them for who they really are, they are often psychologically damaged from early life experiences and put up a tough front to the world and treat women like ****. I could never be with a man like that again and because my last boyfriend, did so much damage to my life that it almost put me off men for life and yet, like you, I had been very attracted to these kinds of men for a long time before this.

Trying to help someone like this or putting up with bad behaviour, is only damaging you and your self-worth and his too because you are saying that it is acceptable for him to treat you this way and why he treats you this way. For him to like and respect you in the way you want him to, you will need to leave him to his way of life and that way, you might not be with him, but he will respect you more for having the courage to say 'no' to abuse of any kind.

Any woman who puts up with such a man like this, makes the man think that he can put all of his damage onto her and that is it - he cannot like or love her, just abuse her because she is allowing him to. All he will offer you is crumbs of his time and lots of abuse in return!. Either you have to change your choices of man and respect and like yourself more or you allow yourself to be mistreated and abused. It takes many women time to learn from their mistakes but eventually, a woman will get over a jerk and because she needs and wants so much more from a man and a relationship.

Nice guys aren't boring at all, they just appear that way because we can only get excited by the unstable and unloving types. What we feel about ourselves is a reflection of how others treat us and I am pretty sure that your experiences will soon enough make you choose the nicer types and some of these will be men who were once horrid but changed their lives for the better. You won't always go through this and you will change, but you need to start looking at this horrid type in the light for who he really is.

We are all unpredictable in our own ways, but some more than others and there is a natural unpredictability in even nice men and so, they aren't all boring afterall. Start to like yourself a lot more and you will soon get fed up with men treating you this way and you do not deserve to be abused by anyone. You are a human being with feelings and so you should be treated like one too.

I wish you so much luck and promise you things will change for you and when you begin to start getting some good self-esteem back again. Have a nice christmas and do something special for yourself!

Answer 2

You answered your on question. Just act on it. Tell the jerk to take a hike.

Or - decide what's most important. What good qualities does the jerk have, probably none that are more important than being treated well.

Also something to consider: the guy far away may be treating you well because he is a player. Is there someone else for him where he is?

Answer 3

i imagine that you're a pink neck with no longer some more thing desirable ideal to do. why do not you supply up nerve-racking about your seems get a job and pass out of your trailer park. only so that you presently that being the most well-loved female in a trailer park isn't a praise and judging by using your percentyou aren't to any extent further very rather so get over your self. you sound like a conceded low life. attempt deliberating more desirable then your self. I also desire that you printed this as a joke because no matter if it really is genuine you're a loser

Answer 4

i think its all about timing,i have been there and choose an idiot who treats me like dirt,i look back now and so wished id choosen the nice one,but the time for me obviously wasnt right-heart and head have got to be saying the same thing,its an awful situation,i think when its totally right,you will only give the person your with any thought and wont contemplate anyone else

Answer 5

all of us are like this...i myself am like that...theres this guy at school that i just found out likes me...when hes busy that day at school or something i LIKE him so much and want him to talk to me...but when he has all the time in the world to talk to me and hangs out with me a lot i dont want anything to do with him...i know..how awful..but i just cant help it...all of us are like that...one day when ur sitting at home just hanging out make a list of the reasons why u like the guy thats a jerk...then make a list of the reasons why u like the guy that treats u like a *princess*...maybe this will help u realize which one u truly need to be with

Answer 6

As STUPID as this may sound you could tell them both about each other and go from there... Tell them you're sorry but you don't know what to do ! From that moment on you'll see that one guy is a total D*** and the long distance guy will 'fight' for you.

Trust me, from that moment on you'll realise what you truly have.

VJ

Answer 7

I think it's the same for guys. They see a pretty girl, which they aint got a chance of snaring, and start frothing at the mouth.
Tough aint it?

Answer 8

What do you want for yourself? A life of misery and being like that or a beautiful ife of love and happiness?

Answer 9

Treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen! Start treating him like he treats you OR just stay with the one that respects you.

Answer 10

natural human nature you always want what you don't have and when you get what you wanted so badly you've had it you move on to the next thing that you really want why because you don't have it

Answer 11

You cannot find True love every where....or from any person.
If you are true and sincere to you'r self ,than true love will come to you soon, one day.