My husband smokes & I hate it!! How can I get him to quit or at least try?

Question

He has been a smoker for almost 10 yrs now. I don't drink or smoke & can't stand the smell of it. I have had him try the patch & the gum, but no success. I heard about the new laser therapy. Has anyone tried this or have any other ideas? He's very stubborn & hard headed. I guess knowing sooner or later, he will have cancer is not a great enough risk. Please help.

He does not smoke in the house or either of the cars. He also does not smoke around me or our children. I just can't stand the smell on his clothing and breath when he comes home from work. He is respectful of me & our children in that aspect of not doing it around us, but I still can't stand it. We are still in our 20's & I want to live a LONG healthy life with him, that's all. I'm mostly concerned for his health. Thank you for all your comments.

Answer 1

The truth of the matter is that in order for him to stop smoking, HE must want to do so. You cannot make him. The motivation must be internal. I smoked for 30 years, but when my doctor told me I was in the beginning stages of emphysema and that I would be dead in 5 years, I quit on the spot, cold turkey and have not smoked for 27 years!! Plus, like you, I cannot stand the smell of it. Maybe a visit to his doctor would help, especially if the doctor scared the hell out of him as mine did. Good luck!!

Chow!!

Answer 2

The hard truth is that he is addicted and won't be able to stop until HE really wants to. Nagging will just make him dig in his heels and smoke more. All you can do is close off part of the house and tell him those rooms are smoke-free, and you will move out if he smokes there. But you have to mean it. It's the only way to protect yourself from his filthy habit - you can't protect him.

If you have kids, tell him to take his ciggies outdoors - children are very vulnerable to the bad effects of secondhand smoke and will be sick a lot more if he smokes anywhere they spend time. The kitchen, dining room, bathroom, bedrooms and wherever the TV is need to be smokefree. If that means he has to smoke in the toolshed, that's just too bad. And if he lights up in the dining room or other smokefree room, warn him once - and the second time call your lawyer.

Maybe someday he will wake up, but until he values YOUR wellbeing more than his smokes, you need to live someplace with clean air.

Answer 3

I've had this same problem with my husband. Like you, I've been an on/off smoker for years. I actually quit for 2 years when I was pregnant with my first and 2 years after I got pregnant with my second. Some how or another I just seemed to get around to doing it again. (I'm on my last pack though, I swear!!) Anyhow, like you, I was a smoker when we met. I even recall saying on an early date when he was complaining about it "I don't plan on quiting, so if you have a problem with it, then . . . " So really I think that he doesn't have any leg to stand on b!tching about it now. But he kind of does have a reason to be bothered by it now. Things have changed. I'm the mother of his children and his wife. Sure he should have thought about that before, and he can't make me stop, but I can see why it would bother him now and not then. He just doesn't understand that its an addiction. Eventually I got tired of sneaking off, lying about it, and dousing myself in perfume, and we just talked it over. Maybe that would help you? I wish I had more advice for you. You certainly have the right as an individual to smoke, be he kinda has the right as your husband to ***** about it. Kind of like you probably would if he had diabetes in his family and was downing a cake every evening, or something.

Answer 4

Well among the other suggestions, try putting him on a guild trip. If you have kids, he may be endangering their lives as well as yours with second hand smoke. What happens to you and kids, if any, if he gets cancer? Life would be sad without your partner, I know my wife passed away 3 years ago, and still reeling from it.

Also the smell on clothing when other people meet him. Then see if you can get him some help with counciling, doctor, etc.

Answer 5

I have not tried any laser therapy, but sentiments seems to work more than these therapies.

Teach him about his family, importance of relationship and the health hazards because of smoking not only to him but also to his family.

Nicely talk a lot on that and take him to a doctor and give a medical counseling.

Make him more religious, take him to his most preferred pilgrim center and try to make him a promise in front of GOD. It will sure to work.

Answer 6

well I go to school right now and my teachers tell me all the time that its bad...you obviously cant treat him like a kid and tell him its bad cause he knows that..I dont know where you live but if you know what MTV is you should try to find the episode of the true life I have a smoking problem and find the episode of where the gurl had been smoking since the age of 10 and died of cancer at the age of 32...that'll scare him...it sure scared my parents...lol

Answer 7

Just get him some gum or lifesavers to suck or chew after smoking. Buy him a smokeless ashtray for Christmas.
Get him some vitamin C to put back in his body what smoking is taking out.
Dont let this get to u so bad, u been putting up with it for 10 yrs.
U may need a cigarette yourself.

Answer 8

Make him smoke outdoors, or wash the whole inside of the house and car every month

Thats ceilings, walls, floors, windows and furniture

Tell him you can't stand the smokey smell on his body

Answer 9

it's going to be hard for him to stop because he have been smoking all of those years. and sometime you tell people that smoke that they will get cancer some of them say you have to die one day. just keep talking to him.

Answer 10

cold turkey it worked for my aunt never use nicorette gum or nicotine patch it is easy to get a ddicited to those because they still supply nicotine