I LOVE THEM BOTH. I have a nine year old boy in the middle.
2006-12-14 06:54:24 · 16 answers · asked by Leah C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I'm getting divorced because of other problems. We both love each other. We haven't been close for a couple of years. We've been together since 1996. I'm only 27. I don't want him to think I just walked away. It's hard to chose. I didn't plan on meeting any one it just happened. My son loves the new guy but of course would love his parents to work things out. We are all gong to therapy.
2006-12-15 04:51:31 · update #1
you need aprofessional not yahoo. I dont understand
2006-12-14 06:57:18 · answer #1 · answered by toofavorable 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Torn between two lovers, feelin like a fool, breakin up with one...is the hardest thing to do!" Ever hear that song? Been there, done that. Go with the NEW guy. Dr. Phil says ALL the time...Ladies, how many times do you have to break up with a person before you realize HE/SHE is NOT the one?! Do you want to be stuck in a marriage/divorce situation where the cycle is BREAK UP every time you have a big problem? Some ppl just aren't made to live together. Perhaps you need to take care of yourself first and give ALL men a break. After a few weeks talking to a licensed therapist I'll bet it all becomes clearer to you. It did for me...that was SEVERAL years ago. Didn't end up with either of them...I'm MUCH happier NOW. Good luck!
2006-12-14 15:02:20 · answer #2 · answered by luv2bake 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, from the information you gave it sounds like you love your soon-to-be ex and he doesn't love you (or something to that effect because you are getting divorced) and you love (or think you love) this new guy. If your divorce is not final, you are in no way ready to start a new relationship. Cool it with the new guy for a while. Just explain to him that you need to be there for son during this hard time--and that you can't have any distractions. If it is meant to be--and you truly love this new guy--then in 6 months or so when things are calmer you can start looking for romance. The important thing here is not put your son in the middle. He needs to understand that he is still loved just as much and that things will be just as good or better than when his parents were married.
2006-12-14 15:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by Heather 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're getting divorced, then obviously you're going to go with the new boyfriend. Maybe you're having a harder time letting go of the past than you thought. Then again, if this boyfriend is the reason you are getting divorced, I would think twice about everything. If you and your husband still love each other, maybe you should let go of the boyfriend, take you and your hubby to marriage counseling, and see if you can't work things out.
2006-12-14 15:03:12 · answer #4 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if your getting divorced then what is the question again? Your ex obviously does not want to be with you so move on and make a life for yourself. You son will have the benefit of two fathers.
2006-12-14 14:56:42 · answer #5 · answered by sweetlaughter434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well....
It is possible to sustain a polyandric relationship (2 males, one female) but it is difficult, especially when they know about each other....It's a male pride thing. If you choose that route, you'll need a whole lot of juggling lessons.
Your priority, of course, is the 9 year old in the middle. Focus on that, and leave everything else fall where it may. We don't choose whom we fall in love with (overtly, anyway)...so, don't beat yourself up over it. Work with what is possible, and you'll be fine.
2006-12-14 15:01:41 · answer #6 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is only one reasonable answer to your question and you already know what it is. Your son is the only important thing in your life right now and you must focus on his needs. Trust me that a love life will always be available to you no matter what your age but your son will not be.
2006-12-14 15:02:18 · answer #7 · answered by Debs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How could you already have a new boyfriend. Do you really think this is in the best interest of your son?
Please have your tubes tied so you no longer can pro-create.
Take care of your son and start thinking about someone besides yourself for once.
2006-12-14 15:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by onlineseeker 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. Why are you getting divorced? His decision? Yours? Something you can fix? If you have moved on and are in the process of a divorce, already have a new boyfriend whom you love, my decision would be to stick with the new one.
2006-12-14 15:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't lead either one of them on. Make a decision, they both need to know where they stand, and kids watch, see, hear everything, he'll do as well as you do through this issue. Good opportunity to role-model and teach him how to work through relationship stuff. You don't have to tell every detail. He may be concerned about how you're doing.
2006-12-14 15:07:12 · answer #10 · answered by Boots4ACowgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will always have a connection with you ex husband, because you have a child. Don't get into a relationship right now. If not for your own sake, for your child's. Give yourself some time.
2006-12-14 15:07:56 · answer #11 · answered by not2bright 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋