it never ends and no matter what i say it goes in one ear and out the other. exp. - honey i am going to Wally world for toothpaste and milk, next day i check the bank account and she spent liek $100, thats some damn good milk, well i need a few other groceries, ok kids have to eat, two days later its another hundy again at wally word along with burger kin, taco bell ... ok my kids are only 2 and 3 that don't eat that much, and if you spent all that money on groceries then eat at home.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
so now its chrismas and i saved up $500 for christmas alone. give it to her to start shoping and still i see the bank account used, you mean christmans decorations, wrapping papper, cards have to come out of the xmas money - well duh i do have to pay bills already short 5 bills this month
sorry about the rant its been going for 6 years now and i have tried everything
2006-12-14 06:45:05 · 12 answers · asked by Acee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't know any other details of your marriage, but some women shop to make themselves feel better. How is her self-esteem? Is your marriage OK? Is she happy with her job? Unfortunately, some women will spend spend spend to get even with their husbands. Is she mad at you? I'm guilty of this myself (not for revenge), but I'm pretty much a tight-wad, so if I go spend 50 bucks on myself for something that's not necessary, I'm a true rebel. Go ahead, laugh at me. I laugh at myself. Anyway, my husband has PTSD (he is a veteran of two wars). Of course, he thinks he's fine. I will not leave him, not even thinking about it. He's a dedicated father and husband and he even helps with some housework, but he so emotionally distant that sometimes it's hard to be home with him. Of course, this comes and goes, but I notice that when he is having a bad time of things and is very distant (and sometimes viciously mean, but never physical), I shop a lot more. Some women just use this as a means of filling a void in their lives. The problem is, this can break the bank. Talk to her, not about the money, but about her job or whatever may be bothering her. Tell her you love her. Do what you can to make her feel better. If she feels like something is missing, try to help her fix it. If she feels bad about her appearance, maybe thinks she's unattractive, take her out for a nice dinner, or get a babysitter and have a quiet dinner at home (if she's spent all your money, maybe this is the option).
2006-12-14 07:00:08 · answer #1 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have several options:
1. Make more money...and allow her to strip you blind.
2. Dissolve all joint accounts, all accounts need to be in your name only, block all credit cards so you can only "pay off" the balances, but no "charges" can be made. Explain that this has to be this way due to her uncontrollable spending (she has a hole in her soul, and tries to fill it with spending highs, to feel better)
3. Request that she work so she can spend how she wants, HER money. She may actually do this, if she does, remind her she must pay for the child care at 50%, you can do the other 50%, but then she can waste her own money without sufferring. Also be sure to NOT open any more joint accounts, she could ruin your credit record if she ever looses complete control and starts opening other accounts behind your back (so get a credit history NOW, and see what is going on)
4. File for a divorce on grounds that she is simply not family-minded, uncooperative, dangerous.
Afterall a family needs to cooperate, teamwork, and she should keep to a budget that is acceptable to the BOTH of you, one that does not burden you financially, one where she still has some money to spend.
2006-12-14 07:03:34 · answer #2 · answered by schnikey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have not tried "everything" which is why you are still so frustrated by it. Here is what you need to do. For a whole month, you do all the shopping - groceries, toiletries, fast food, etc. You will be totally amazed how things add up. At the grocery store, you end up buying laundry detergent and toilet paper, so the groceries aren't really reflected in the total. It's not all food. And at the drugstore, you buy food items, so it's not all toothpaste and tissue.
You need to honestly give this a shot. Because you are not "running" the house (I mean that in a nice way), she will have to give you lists because frankly guys aren't good on planning for the incidentals, like wrapping paper and birthday parties, etc. You will see where all that money goes --- and you will kiss her feet for her doing all that work going all over the place to get things for your family, and you will want to gift her with bling!
2006-12-14 08:23:04 · answer #3 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really like the answer about making sure your wife is okay. When i am not feeling too great about things i tend to shop, and if i am upset with my husband i spend his money to make myself feel better...it doesnt work btw, and its not right at all! But im being honest! I also have a 2 year old and let me tell ya, diapers, wipes, snacks, etc...that stuff adds up and dont last long! Plus, you would be surprised at how much kids that age can eat! And after you spend about an hour in wal mart with two kids and they get hungry, you will drive thru anywhere at almost any cost to put something in their mouths to shut them up! Regardless, bills need to be paid BEFORE christmas crap is bought, and it sounds lik the two of you need to sit and discuss a budget you can stick to otherwise she's gonna get put on an allowence! Ive seen it done on Oprah's debt diet and it does work!
2006-12-14 07:19:14 · answer #4 · answered by Aubrey 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and discuss the budget. Do shopping with your wife, maybe even clip coupons to save money. Make a list of things needed before going to the store so she doesn't impulse shop. Plan on doing all the shopping one day a week and buy everything needed for the week.
2006-12-14 06:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by Jennifer Lu22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One way to solve this is open up another bank account in a different bank and put money into that account and give her an allowance if she just refuses to sit down and talk to you...You need to see what she is doing with this money.....If you don't stop it now, you will not stop it at all.....
2006-12-14 09:12:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take away all her credit cards and give her cash only. Tell her you are putting her on a budget and she can only spend so much a week on herself. Ask her to start buying groceries and cooking if she doesnt have any other responsibilities (like taking care of kids?).
2016-03-29 07:15:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a separate account and put most of the money in there and keep her on a strict allowance until she learns how to manage money better.
2006-12-14 06:49:23 · answer #8 · answered by Ray 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This one is easy,
Close the bank account , cut off her credit cards and give her $50.00 a week.
2006-12-14 06:50:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
cancel all credit cards change debt code. go to cash only though you with receipts. don't worry live pay check to pay check and my wife is over $3500 plus we are going on a trip to aruba $7200 six kids
2006-12-14 09:19:15 · answer #10 · answered by KEVIN D 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋