last year i was feeling really low, i had lost my mother and my husband became ill and my son left the country to work. I noticed in the paper that an old friend of mine had lost her husband so i contacted her, she was really glad to see me at first then each time i called after that it became obvious she didn't want me around. I saw her at the shops and she ran away from me. I feel really bad as we got on so well before. Do i just ignore her or write to her with a christmas card enclosing a letter explaining. Can you help me, please?
2006-12-14 06:42:29 · 21 answers · asked by Audrey L 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Audrey Hello,
This must have been really hard for you. You went through so much trauma in one year.
I think you should move on from this relationship or at least let her come to you. If you send her a card just put best wishes and let the ball be in her court. I know its hard but we can't get on with everyone, it's just not possible. It may be that her bereavement is to much for her to cope with another person in a similar situation. Losing a husband must be awful, and you can understand because you have just lost your mum. There could be loads of explanations for her behaviour towards you. So don't blame your self and don't blame her. Best wishes in this painful situation.
2006-12-14 07:06:23 · answer #1 · answered by : 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, If I were you, I would send her a Christmas card and perhaps a gift just showing her that you still care. It could be that she's just in mourning and she's not acting like her normal self. I imagine if I lost my husband, I would be depressed, and in mourning. I wouldn't want to really socialize and talk with other people. She's mourning over her gone husband, she's trying to find direction and how to adjust after the death of the most precious person in her life. Its pretty hard, I imagine. Just be kind, patient and keep your space for a little while. Its not a personal matter with you, its what she's going through. Hope everything goes well with you and her.
2006-12-14 07:02:00 · answer #2 · answered by ♥Lily♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the others, I dont see where you have done anything wrong, however, for your sake , it sounds like you need some sort of closure. Write that christmas card with the note inside. Explain to your friend about your hard year and about your sorrow for her loss. Let her know how you feel about her and that you in no way meant to crowd her with your company. Let her know that you very much value her friendship. If she responds...great! If she nevers does, you can let her go knowing you did everything possible to be a good friend.
Sorry for your loss.
2006-12-14 06:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by Amanda C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it hurts - but there may be some nasty gossip going around about you and she's got wind of it - true or false. Leave her to it Some times peopels personalities are just so different that we dont 'gel' yiou're unlikey to see Bill gates and steven tyler partying together, maybe its the same with you two??? Peoples actions can be so cruel but thats life, move on - if you can go to a support group maybe she cant deal with the pain
2006-12-14 12:31:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get to the point, you are both adults. Tell her how you feel, that you appreciate your relationship but that it is obvious to you (or that it seems that way) that she does not want to talk to you anymore. Just ask her, "why not?" No matter what the response, at least you will have an answer right? Be brave, you can do it!!
2006-12-14 06:46:35 · answer #5 · answered by nowhere 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hmmm I don't understand. Maybe she is going through so much she is just overwhelmed.. or maybe she had been drinking and didn't want you to know, or she felt bad or something.
Just send her a card withOUT a note, just wish her the best and that way you have kept the door open.. you might say call me sometime, or something light like that.
Good luck.
2006-12-14 06:47:13 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just send her a Christmas card.
Do not send a letter.
Enclose in the card a short line saying, If you feeling like talking,
please give me a call.(enclose your phone number again)
If you dont hear from her, dont pursue the friendship any longer.
I am sorry for your loss.
2006-12-14 06:50:30 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If she is running away from you, don't send her anything. Make new friends, there is a reason she doesn't want to be around you. Later in life if she wants you around, she will contact you.
2006-12-14 06:45:36 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer Lu22 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Send a Christmas card and note. Its then up to her to sort it out for herself. At least you tried.Good luck xx
2006-12-14 07:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by d1ckdeckard 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore her. I think its rude that she ran away from you when you were at the store. If anyone has some explaining to do, its her, not you.
2006-12-14 06:46:25 · answer #10 · answered by bewitching_green_fairy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋