I have decided to leave my boyfriend. I'm taking my son and leaving and haven't told him. My reason for leaving is that he is verbally abusive to me and my son (who is only 4). I just can't take anymore. He also has a drinking problem. I grew up with an alcoholic father and I refuse to put my son in the same situation. I just don't know if I'm suposed to feel bad for not telling him I'm leaving. I just want whats best for my child and I feel that leaving is the best thing to do.
2006-12-14 06:28:19 · 24 answers · asked by Confuzed 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You shouldn't feel bad about it.What you doing is right,who'd want to go through that all over again and with a child this time.Have you atleast given him a chance to change ie.tried telling him that if he continues drinking you'll leave?If you have then go but if not,don't you think you should atleast see if he wants to try?
Goodluck...
2006-12-14 07:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is natural for you to feel babd, but what you are doing is right. Abuse can kill the inner self. You should leave to protect your son and self. I know it will be hard, and it seems to me that he is not a very good man. When you leave make sure you protect yourself and have someone there with you. I also think you should get a lawyer for custody, once he knows you are taking the son away he is going to want to fight back. Get help, and keep evidence. leave and get out,I pray that everything goes well. God Bless. and be careful in the future.
2006-12-14 14:34:14 · answer #2 · answered by old 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what is best for you and your son. Now don't second guess yourself just keep look forward. You may feel negative or a sense of loss but keep on driving and know that eventially the bad feelings you are having will subside. You left for a reason now stick to your guns and try to learn from this mistake. Try not to repeat it with the new people you are going to meet in your life. Try going for the nice guy or nerdy guy. Best wishes to you. Your doing the right thing.
2006-12-14 14:37:08 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO!! You should not feel bad although it is obvious that you do. He gave up the right to your sympathy when he began to verbally abuse you and your child. Your job as a parent is to protect your child AT ALL COSTS!! If the abuser gets hurt in the process so be it, you have to do what is best for you and especially your child. Good Luck!
2006-12-14 14:32:09 · answer #4 · answered by momof3ismeinwv 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I left my boyfriend because he was verbally and physically abusive. Vebal abuse hurts much more than physical. If you have a friend that you can stay with, leave. Abuse does not get better if neither party stands up for themselves. You have to think about ur son and find a safe and healthy place for him. I still feel horrible for leaving my ex, but i would rather be by myself than called names, humilitated, and have things thrown at me.
2006-12-14 14:32:31 · answer #5 · answered by megdbrown10304 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel you Cant tell him you are leaving then you shouldnt feel bad. But if you do decide to tell him that you are make sure you have someone with you when you do, you never know what his reaction will be, and you dont want to take that chance for you or your son
2006-12-14 14:31:59 · answer #6 · answered by ReRe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't "should" on yourself.
Doing what you must to take care of yourelf and your son it important.
Why tell him you are leaving? This will bring unnecessary drama. He is lost in the disease of alcoholism and will only dish out more abuse or promises to change that he is unable to keep.
Find Al-Anon meetings and read Al-Anon literature. I especially benefitted from How Al-Anon Works for Family and Friends of Alcoholics. You will find support and strength to take care of yourself and your son in a healthy way.
PEACE
2006-12-14 14:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should not feel bad about getting yourself and your child out of an abusive situation. Save your energy for raising your son.
2006-12-14 14:37:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jane 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't feel bad. The guy's a drunk abusive prick. Good riddance. Leave him a note saying "see ya", but do NOT tell him where you are going. He will hunt you down and make your life a living hell. You're making the right decision. Now get out and don't look back.
2006-12-14 14:32:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leaving is the best thing to do however you should at least tell him and explain why. After awhile maybe he'll realize he has problems and fix them. You shouldn't have your son not be able to be around his dad either. It'll mess him up when he's older by not having a father around
2006-12-14 14:32:21 · answer #10 · answered by ~Krys~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋