Today, I dawns on me that I have had crushes on guys, all of whom were not availible, had girlfriends etc. I have never had that situation where There was one curious or wanting to try it. That wouldn't work for me anyway, as I am talking about my emotional and love feelings for straight guys. It is my perceptions that due to my interest in mountains, outdoors, wilderness, that when I do cross into urban gay scenes, I feel out of place, and not very attractive to the gay men in that situation. There seems to be a difference between participants of urban based gay outdoor clubs and those like me who make outdoors a way of life. It seems that the guys around me in my every day natural environment are into girls only on a romantic love connection basis. I am now in a the midst of a large crush on a coworker, and at this point I grow tired of this pattern ,and I am aligning my desires to transcend this pattern, to attract AVAILIBLE and KIND love in my beautiful life. HELP!!!!
2006-12-14 05:56:58 · 8 answers · asked by sierraglacier 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You just need to stop spending so much time around straight men. Sorry, but thems the breaks.
You don't seem to like outdoorsy gay men, so why don't you find some other hobby/interest/etc in which to meet them? Plan a pride parade or get involved in political activism. Join a gay book club or try online dating. Take some college classes. Whatever, it doesn't matter. You just need to get out of the woods.
You have to get over your fear of the urban gay scene because most gay men live in urban areas. Unless you are a troll, I guarantee you that urban gay men don't hate you or think you ugly. Urban gay men are hard to stereotype as a group... yeah some twinks may not be interested, but who cares? I am sure there is someone out there who would love to meet you. There are plenty of fish in the city.
And make gay friends, don't just look for gay dates. The best way to meet a partner is through mutual friends... it weeds out the psychos and makes it more likely you will get along with the person. And if you go on some dates and don't click, try to stay friends with the guy, don't just blow him off because he is not your ideal.
The biggest thing is not to loose yourself in the wilderness. I've seen this with some of my pagan friends... you get out in the woods by yourself, and you don't have to face your fears and insecurities. Then everyone else who doesn't live the way you do is just a big poser or doesn't really get you. It has been my experiance that most people are not that hard to figure out, but some people prop themselves up by feeling like they are the only one who is real or unique or true to whatever the interest/cause in question. They like to feel like no one gets them (when almost everyone gets them) because it allows them to keep others at a distance.
Don't be that guy.
2006-12-14 09:41:45 · answer #1 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-05 22:29:55 · answer #2 · answered by Deena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can relate to this. The push/pull game that curious men play can be fun but there comes a point where you just have to say "LOOK. Do you want me or do you not?"
Flirting means nothing if it doesn't go anywhere, it has to be 'set in stone.' Also, if you don't want the drama of a 'gay group' (usually they tend to get political and not very intimate in nature so I know what you mean) You can always start your own or try to hook up one and one with a gay man or a few gay men on a more personal, intimiate level. Clearly specifiy that you're looking for 'something more' but always make sure you leave things open-ended. Don't put pressure on the men that they're required to make any sort of commitment, but make sure you clarify that you're seeking guys that are also single.
There's nothing that a little 'gentle assertiveness' can't fix, believe me. NOTHING. And there's nothing gayer than camping, my friend. That's for sure.
2006-12-14 06:40:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am exactly like you...Will you marry me....I seldom run across guys that are into the very same things I am. You are more than correct about the urban gay thing. See what you like is a MAN..Not a materialistic, swisshy, style concerned, shallow person..Sorry Urban girls, that's a generalization but from my experience, one well earned...I hike everyday and most of my friends are straight. I like MEN. Men with adventure, men who get dirty, men with imagination and most of all, men with spirituality....Ahhhhh, your like a breath of fresh air...Keep your standards and keep your self in God's beautiful, wonderful living Sanctuary out there! BIG LOVE, Kevin
2006-12-14 09:49:48 · answer #4 · answered by sckreet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try finding a gay hiking group or even starting one of your own!
Out where I live there are plenty of outdoorsy types of gay guys, I know they'd love to have friends to hike with!
2006-12-14 06:00:57 · answer #5 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this seems like a pattern,you should go to places that gay men who like the outdoors,go to like walking horses ,rafting mountain climbing,join, you will meet some great guys, outeverywhere.com best of luck
2006-12-14 06:26:46 · answer #6 · answered by lynnemaryireland 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop being outdoorsy!!!
2006-12-14 06:08:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
just do wat u like..
2006-12-14 06:02:22 · answer #8 · answered by hamid 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋