I am really confused, if I should marry or just ask my gf to move in with me.
2006-12-14 05:39:12 · 17 answers · asked by Shiv 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have been with my man for almost five years. We are not married and we have two kids. I get heckled by everybody about it but I don't care what they think. We support ourselves without any help from anyone including the government. My reason for putting it off is that I am still in school and it is cheaper on me if we wait. I say don't rush into it. It all depends on your religion and all that but make it your decision not the government or your peers. People say that kids feel more secure knowing that their parents are married but that just isn't true. Your kids feel secure by the way you feel about each other.I'm not married and my man and love each other very much and express it often...on the other hand if you have a married couple who fight all the time and never show ove those kids are going to feel insecure than mine. No piece of paper can ever guarentee that one or the other won't leave you can just as easily walk out the door married or not. Take your time make sure it will last before you jump in.
2006-12-14 05:45:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you both want a commitment, then I would suggest marriage. When you are just living together you always feel you have an out, or that the other person has an out and there can be insecurities tied to that. If you are wanting to test the waters to see how you will be able to interact as a committed couple, then living together is a good way of accomplishing that, but there are strings attached with this arrangement too. If you don't want strings, don't do either.
2006-12-14 13:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by PDH 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi I'm 42 years old and have been married twice.I divorced both women. My first marriage lasted 14 years and was great we just grew apart and wanted different things in life. We are good friends now and have a wonderful 16 year old daughter. My second marriage was right after my first divorce. We lived together for a year before getting married. I really regret this marriage!!! I've been divorced from my second wife for 3 years now and have have a wonderful lady living with me for the latter two. My girlfriend asks me about marriage sometime and If I ever do marry again it will surely be her. My advice to you is to follow your own heart and if you really love this lady and she is someone you could be around 27-7 and have the same love, then by all means marry her. True mates are hard to find but to find the right one is truly heaven on earth..........good luck
2006-12-14 14:00:10 · answer #3 · answered by wildone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is hourable to the Lord , but please don't rush in to things communicate a lot about what you expect from one another and be honest. If you don't you will wish you had. Everything becomes different when you start living together.Being happy means being real with one another. Lay the line down in the beginning if you both agree to your request then get married. If you ague now you will do more later. That is called verbal abuse on both sides. It's a scary situation please take it very serious you don't want to hurt the one you think you love. Love is action, communication, understanding, patience, enduring, sacrificing, giving, taking, doing without something you want to do to please another,the key is alwaying in the mode of pleasing the spouse. If you both do this you will be fine also accept jesus as your lord and savior and pray together and put God First
2006-12-14 13:50:20 · answer #4 · answered by tellthetruth 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know in your heart of hearts that your not ready for marriage don't do it otherwise you may regret it. Depending on how long the relationship has been going and the feeling's you both feel for each other, you would definitely know what you need to do. If you can't see yourself being with one person for the rest of your life then you need to re-evaluate the situation before making any hasty decisions.
2006-12-14 13:52:33 · answer #5 · answered by Pink~Panther 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how important it is to both of you. Think about the pros/cons and your real feelings of all options.
I'm an all or nothing woman, myself. And I personally haven't seen a "no strings attached" situation when a man and woman are living together.
2006-12-14 13:54:18 · answer #6 · answered by Claire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither is "better", it all depends on the people involved. Marriage works better for me - it makes functioning in the society easier, provides practical benefits to the couple, and introduces a certain measure of accountability in the relationship. But the bottom line is, it all depends on your views and your priorities.
2006-12-14 13:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In either situation, you will have strings attached. You cannot have your cake and eat it too when it comes to this one.
If you love her, marry her, if you don't then don't even let her move in. Why play married if you are not ready to get married?
2006-12-14 13:46:57 · answer #8 · answered by bux_martinfan 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can try living with her first if you'd like. Make sure you are comfortable with eachother. See how she handles stress. Read beween the lines and if it feels like a good time to ask her, Go ahead! Marriage is great- But don't forget...Looook before you leap!!
Merry x-mas!
2006-12-14 13:43:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You could always try the move in thing first and then marriage afterwards if that works out. No need to go straight to marriage if you don't want to.
2006-12-14 13:41:42 · answer #10 · answered by Tedo 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋