She's recently become so unruly, last Thursday she didnt come into the house until 11pm I tried to call her cell she never answered she just sauntered in when she felt like it and gave me a song and dance as to where she was, I went to the school the next day to find out what I knew was the truth that the story she gave me was bogus, she's driving me crazy, she's flunking out of school right now and she's a senior, and today she totally went against what I told her to do {not enough characters left to explain that, plus I'm still boiling over it}; I'm ready to give up my parental rights and send her off somewhere as far away as possible, I'm tired of dealing with her ***, I understand she is coming of age and all that jazz but this is ridiculous, of course this is just a smidgen of what she's been doing for a number of years, today I'm truly fed up, I can take no more, until yesterday I felt like a failure, but I realized I've done the best I knew to do, if its not good enough oh well
2006-12-14 05:36:48 · 14 answers · asked by cranberry_juice33 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
tell her that when she is old enough to so disrespect her parents and authority figures like that then she is old enough to pack her bags and find her own place to live... don't let her take control like that you need to lay the law down and if it comes down to it you won't like it but you will have to do what you say and kick her out or drop her off at a shelter somewhere.... but don't let ehr think you are joking do it and do it fast before she gets worse and you lose your daughter forever...
2006-12-14 05:41:04 · answer #1 · answered by Rika 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, she isn't 18 yet...so you still have power over her (even if it seems like you don't). I really feel for you, I can tell you are at your wits end! I would say that you should take away her cell phone and her car, if she has one. Give her an early curfew and lay out your rules in writing. She is going to hate you for it, but she already seems to have lost respect for you. Tell her if she doesn't obey the rules you will call the police on her. She has got to understand how dis-respectful she is being towards you. You raised her and took care of her, helped her be the person she is today. She is being very selfish and unresponsible, and that will get her nowhere. Maybe make her volunteer somewhere where she can see how less-fortunate people live and maybe give a second thought to her ways. Good Luck! I hope I helped a little...but it's a tough situation. Hopefully, with the extra time she has having to be home early...she will get some much-needed studying done.
2006-12-14 05:45:52 · answer #2 · answered by ANGEL 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can totally understand what you are going through. I went through the same with two of mine when they were teens. It was exasperating to say the least and I thought I was about to lose my mind at the time.
The thing that finally helped me deal and find coping strategies was Tough Love. I was skeptical at first when I went to a meeting, but soon found solace in meeting other parents with similar issues.
When you go to the meetings you are split up into groups and each week you discuss your particular childs problems with the other members of the group. Between you, you set up reasonable goals to meet. They call these goals "bottom lines". It could be something as simple as not giving your child money for the movies and sticking with it, or something a little more complex, such as removing a childs bedroom door, if you feel they up to no good when they lock themselves in their room.
I found it empowered me to do things that I never had the strength to do before. The kids hate it when they know you are now taking control and you have support of other parents. But many times they eventually come around when they realize you mean business and that you won't put up with their nonesense anymore.
You also get a sponsor, and you become a sponsor to someone else. You can call your sponsor for support at any time.
It worked for me and I am eternally grateful to Tough Love. My kids did eventually turn around and now they are responsible adults. Though I am not sure that they would of changed had I not taken such drastic steps. There are Tough Love chapters in most areas. I am posting you a link to their main website. You should be able to find info of chapters in your area there.
2006-12-14 05:56:28 · answer #3 · answered by Janine E 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, aside from beating her and giving up your parental rights you could try taking everything she owns away. Her cell, her car her license, tv, any cloths you don't like the look of, and anything else that could possibly bring her any fun. If she bought it with her own money to bad because you as the parent still have a right to take it away. Take her to and from school if you can. Don't let her leave to house for anything short of school or a fire. Kids really hate it when you do these things and the smart ones will straighten up quickly, the stubborn ones may take awhile but after a few weeks of staring at a blank wall she will smarten up. :) Good luck! Don't let her get you down if you really have tried everything you can think of then you are a good mom. I can't wait for my kids to be teens, my oldest is 10 and quite the handful. I guess my parents will laugh at me :)
2006-12-14 05:42:01 · answer #4 · answered by zara01 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't blame yourself. Your daughter is nearly eighteen and it sounds like she needs a reality check. It's time for her to take some responsibility for her actions. If she is flunking out of school while still living under your roof I would force her to get a job and pay rent. After spending a little time in the labor force at minimum wage she might not think school is such a bad idea and she will finish later. You have done all you can, but in the end it is really her decision to make.
2006-12-14 06:37:33 · answer #5 · answered by M N 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 17, she should know right from wrong, and she knows what she is doing is wrong, and what more can you do than you are doing right now? At that age all my daughter wanted was to be an adult, because in her mind being an adult meant doing whatever you want, but she found out the hard way, and now she is 27 and a single parent living back in our house, but she has a whole different attitude now. It will be the roughest year of your life before she turns 18 or graduates, then cut her loose and let her take her lumps, its the only way.
2006-12-14 05:45:06 · answer #6 · answered by smartypants909 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, I'm sorry for you and her. Not a great time in life. Though it may be late in her childhood, you are still her PARENT! I would suggest taking away privileges like: car, tv, social activity. So, if she wants to go out and cannot give you a location and names of the people she will be with, tell her no. If she goes out anyway, call the cops that she's a runaway. You've GOT to be strong. The next few weeks of being the parent she needs will likely be rough, but you also may be saving her life. Be strong and be the parent she needs. Best wishes.
2006-12-14 05:42:01 · answer #7 · answered by the truth 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can not control her, people do not control people! Your daughter is no longer a child but a young woman. You need to see if you can get her to open up to you as to what is bothering her. Since she is your daughter you can not totally give up on her but perhaps it's time she moves out on her own. There is not allot you can do as she will make her own decisions at this point as she's shown you already, communication is very important and if not established you are dead in the water.
2006-12-14 06:17:01 · answer #8 · answered by badmikey4 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 19 i didnt stay at abode so my mom had no administration over my life. yet now im back abode and im 21 and my mom nonetheless has ordinary rules and that i know them by using fact i do stay in her abode and she or he does help me. If she doesnt like the way her mom is treating her she desires to sit down down and have a severe verbal substitute along with her mom or if its no longer ordinary to have a verbal substitute along with her then she ought to perhaps get her a card and write her a letter. yet in simple terms dont make all of it adverse upload what she does good and what you're taking excitement in her for.
2016-10-14 22:50:38 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As parents we don't get to give up...no matter how unruly she is she stills needs you. It's evident she is looking for something that isn't at home or within reach (so she feels).
The problem with the youth today is most of society tends to give up on them and they know that. Continue to reach out to her the best you know how, continue to set boundaries and ground rules. Be the Captain of the vessel as much as possible - drive her to and from school, walk her on to campus and to classes, sit and do homework with her, take away her cell phone while she is at home and monitor calls used in the house. Express self respect , morals, believes and GOD (as it applies of course).
Please feel free to contact via email - I have a passon for teenagers and their struggles. Please don't give up on your daughter!
2006-12-14 05:50:29 · answer #10 · answered by Million C 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋