will an emotionally abusive man ever change?

Answer 1

If you are involved with an emotionally abusive person than you know the answer to that question. The real question is will you be smart enough and strong enough to end the relationship and live a much happier life.

Answer 2

Sometimes, yes he can change with the right combination of therapy, partner, etc. But it's actually going to be harder to change you.
If someone has been abusing you emotionally, the damage has already been done. It might take years for the scars to fade, and even if he changes a whole new round of issues will arise. He will wonder why you are still so hurt even after he has changed, maybe even doubt if it was all for nothing. You will start to have feelings that you have been repressing surface now that they are under not under constant attack.
My best advice is, if he is willing to take the steps to change, then go for it. Be positive and supportive. But be realistic about the chances of your relationship surviving even if he becomes the perfect man. Be up front with him about how you are feeling all during the process so it doesn't come as a shock to him if it doesn't work out.
It might truly be that you would be better off without each other. This is a no brainer if he refuses to accept the reality of his abuse. But even if he does change, it might be better for both of you to start fresh, you with someone who doesn't have a history of abusing you, and him going into a new relationship as a better person with a clean slate.

Answer 3

An emotionally abusive persons behavior will not change. The sad reality is that their behavior could escalate to other forms of abuse...it may take 1 year or 10 years.
Not all domestic violence is physical. Being abused may include physical violence, but victims may also be abused verbally, emotionally, financially, and psychologically. These forms of abuse can be just as terrifying, and often result in low feelings of self-esteem, depression, and loneliness for the victim.
There might be a Batterer's Intervention Group in your area, however, most abusers are court-ordered into treatment.

Answer 4

I married an abusive man. Divorced less than two years into the marriage. This was 18 years ago. Before the divorce he tried counseling, court ordered programs, and help with his church. Still today, I hear from others that he still is abusive to women and can't hold down a job due to his temper.

I once belonged to a program for abusive women/support group, while married, it was a shame to see these women continue in their abusive relationships. Some would even come to the group with "new" black eyes and horrible stories. Most stayed in the relationship for the kids whom then became abusers themselves even toward the mother.

Best of luck.

They don't change !...................sorry.

Answer 5

Yes, you can make them change themselves. But there is a risk to do that.
You have to let them know that you are dead serious, that you will no longer take the abuse, lay the ground rules out and present them with the ultimatum. You must at all cost stick to the ultimatum. If you say you will leave if they continue, then you must do that. Do it, and then be patient and not to give in.

They will change or they will not change. Either way, your problem is over. The risk is loosing them, but that is the way it has to be if you want the abuse to end. But you also have a good chance of keeping them on much much better terms.

Answer 6

I am a domestic violence counselor. I will tell you what I tell my clients.

A man who is emotionally abusive can change only if he sees the problem and admits to himself that it is entirely his fault. Then and only then can he begin the process to change his pattern of behavior. He will need intensive psycho-therapy to reprogram his behavior and get to the bottom of why he is abusive. This will take lots of hard work on his part, and will take years of therapy. Even after he commits to this, his chances of failing back in to his old habits are extremely high (the abuse recidivism rate is 97%).

So to answer your question, yes an emotionally abusive man can change, but it is extremely difficult, very uncommon, takes intensive work on his part, and very often fails.

Please also note that emotional abuse very often esculates to physical violence (especially when the woman attempts to end the relationship or is pregnant).

Answer 7

It is possible, but only if the man admits it is a problem and he wants to change. I saw this subject on Oprah before. There was a couple on the show, and the husband was extremely abusive (emotionally) - the audience said that she should leave him! But she hung in there, and he got counselling and he did change over time. It was a difficult process, but it worked out and their marriage improved immensely. It took between 1 to 2 years...but the wife said it was worth it.

Answer 8

One thing I learned is you cannot make people change, and people rarely ever do change on their own. And if a man is abusing you in anyway you need to get out as soon as you can because that man is a threat to your mental and physical health.

Answer 9

Yes he will when you have had enough and leave the situation --A person cant hurt you when they aren't there to do so--Stop supplying him with someone to banter--why feed his ego by making him think he is so good that no matter what he says you will stick by his side and take it---you are not his dog you are his wife you deserve to be treated as his Queen --Leave and let him be miserable alone --let him bad mouth the one in the mirror --try recording his hateful comments and then the last thing you do when you go is give it to him and say if you are wondering why I am out of here is this ENJOY your alloneness

Answer 10

Dear Michelle,
He can change , but you can not change him only God can! I know you may feel that you love him , but you must love yourself first. If you are allowing him to tear you down emotionally then you need to go. Do this for you, and especially if children are involved, it can destroy them if Dad is calling Mom names, because one day they will do the same. Please take care of you, and don't worry about what anyone else says about it! It is better to live in a box on the street with peace of mind and joy then in a mansion with strife , bitterness , and misery!

Good luck,(I've been there, but now I'm free)