leadership, and getting people to respond to what you want?

Question

what do you think is the best way to have someone listen to you when you want them to follow the rules?
do you think that being nice, and explaining it over and over again even when they don't listen is best
or do you think harshly telling them, or banning them right away is best. Please give reasons and experiences

Answer 1

First, you can't control others.

Second, if you use your second method, how do you know the person wouldn't have listened?

If you are taking about dealing with a subordinate, then explain to them that not following the rules will have consequences for them -- depending on the importance of the rule they're ignoring (they will be fired, won't get a raise).

But that's after you've made sure that you have pleasantly and politely told them what the rules are and why they are important.

Give people a chance by making it all explicit and clear; then if they ignore you, they suffer the consequences.

Of course, it wouldn't hurt to try to understand WHY they ignore the rule.

If you had given any specifics as to context, or the nature of the behavior, it would be MUCH easier to answer your question with helpful responses.

Answer 2

I think modeling the target behavior is essential. Then, present enforceable statements, like: when everyone is sitting down we can get started. The time spent not sitting down will be deducted from (something fun - movie, free time, a fun project, etc.).

ALWAYS KEEP IN THE FRONT OF YOUR MIND: You treat people how to treat and respond to you.

I LOVE the Love and Logic theory and practice. In my experience, it is effective for all ages - including your parents! My favorite book is: Love and Logic, what to do when kids leave you speechless. Now, it's targeted toward kids, but the thinking and logic is great for adults, too. You can find this book inexpensively at amazon. Good luck!

Answer 3

You need to be very clear about your expectations. You need to explain how these expectations will be met, and what type of help is available (if any). Then you need to explain how they will be held accountable for the work and the specific consequences for failing to comply. You should offer encouragement throughout the process and foster team work when appropriate.

Answer 4

In my experience being polite for the first three times you say it is the best way, and then getting snappish afterwords with them. Otherwise they're going to walk all over you. Of course saying 'please' after you ask them to do something is always a great way to get somebody to do what you want because it's polite.

Answer 5

You have to make them think your idea, was their idea. How?
Just tell them, and expect them to crap on it. And then watch them tell others the same thing you told them the next day! Loose
the pride. Don't expect to get the credit. Just believe in yourself,
and know it's getting put to work for the benefit of others!