How do you come out to your friends and family?

Question

Being gay is new, I guess I have felt this way for about a year or two but am just not getting a girl friend, and I want her to meet my family, its just that I haven't even told them I was gay.

Answer 1

Slowly! Get some information from PFLAG. The book "Always my child" is wonderful to be given to your parents. I know some ultra religious parents that will never accept their son's actions - you know that "love the sinner hate the sin" thing. They pray long and hard but he still won't change - and neither will they. So how open will your parents be? If this a totally alien concept they will need time to adjust. Do you share more with one of your parents than the other? Speak to that parent first if it seems overwhelming to do that "family talk" at the kitchen table. Give them some time and space to talk things out between themselves - then be available to answer ANY questions. If you can give them resources to read or contact they won't feel so alone. Be prepare for rejection. Some parents take this as a real slap in the face. So read up on the subject so you are secure when you make your move.
As for your friends - if they love you it will change nothing, the others will fall away and maybe even ridicule. Just comes with the territory - which our religious leaders are doing nothing to change. Good luck kid - there are other accepting adults out here.

Answer 2

If your family is fairly open-minded and haven't shown any kind of real antagonism to homosexuality in the past, then it should be OK. Sit them down and tell them, when you feel the time is right (you'll know it, trust me) and when they're not distracted. Sometimes it's easier to come out to one family member at a time. My sister was the first to know about me, then I told my mom, and then my dad. It made it easier to be able to tackle them one-on-one, even though I didn't think I'd have that much of a problem with them.

BUT if they have acted really anti-gay in the past, then take things very, very carefully. It's really uncertain how they'd react.

Answer 3

Talk to them alone, without the girlfriend. Give them time to get used of you lifestyle. You dont want to throw the girlfriend in thier face just yet. My sister came out 2 yrs ago, and immediately when she told us, she wanted to introduce us to the girlfriend. I had to explain to her, for my parents it was hard finding out about her homosexuality, so she needed to give them time to get used to her new lifestyle, then introduce her girlfriend later. Homosexuals want to be excepted, but they rush it. You cant tell them you are gay then throw a girlfriend in thier face. They will definately need time to get used to it! Let them decide when they are ready to meet her. When ever things change you have to get used to the change at your own pace. So give them time, and all should work out fine!

Answer 4

well i came out really hard because i wasnt ready to tell but it just so happenes that i did but yeah if u want to tell them then just say it, but i would think because so parents and friends are stupid and judge.... thats what happened to me, the judge me all the time and say crap that doesnt want to be said but anyways i would think 1st b4 i would react, tell ur friends first and see how they react to it, ur true friends will stay w/ u! so good luck at what u do!

Answer 5

Give the points TiggY

Answer 6

IF THEY REALLY LOVE YOU THE WILL UNDERSTAND. JUST BE HONEST WITH THEM. AND YOU HAVE TO HAVE IN MIND THAT IS DIFFICULT AND PAINFUL (FOR YOUR PARENTS) YOU HAVE TO GIVE IT THEM SOME TIME TO REALIZED THAT YOU ARE GAY. IN FRONT OF THEM DO NOT BE TOO "FRIENDLY" WITH YOUR GIRL, RESPECT THEM AND YOU WILL SEE.

GOOD LUCK
OC

Answer 7

tell them in absolutely plain words...without thinking so much