i have a question about child support?

Question

i have no problem with paying support, it is my responcibility, but when a court states what i should pay , it is my half of what it costs to raise that child ? right? my ex has not worked since i started paying so how is she contributing her half? kids are in school all day so its not because shes watching them. dosent sound fair to me , no accountability

Answer 1

OK---first of all I sympathize with you and the way you feel--fathers get short changed all day long when it comes to divorce and custody---but unlike some of the posts here, I can tell you that your CS does not pay half of their care and support and such. That would mean you enough CS to pay your kids' percentace of the house payment, half of the costs if their food, half of their clothes, half of their hygenic needs, half of hair cuts, half of school supplies, lunches, extra curricular activities and the list is endless----I am not sure what state you are in, but in most States CS is based on a percentage of your take home pay. Period. In Arkansas it's 15% for the first child, 21% if there are 2, ect.....in Tennessee it's 21% for the first child, and so on. I think Nevada may be a State that does calulate more of true percent of the actal costs of raising a child, and then adjusting percentages accordingly, but few states do that.

So, the fact that mom, for whatever reason (And for the life of me unless she is remarried I can't figure out why gets to be unemployed) doesn't work really doesn't factor in to anything.

Your CS goes to keep the utilities on and stuff like that. I know many women do abuse the money they get and get their nails done and go tanning while the kids wear hand-me-downs, but most women are like me. I get $75 a week in CS. Daycare is $110/week. So the CS I get doesn't even cover that, much less money for diapers, food, utilities, clothes and stuff.

It sounds like your ex is lazy though and you do have the right to be upset. But it also sounds like you are the bigger person here and will surely do your part to make sure your kids are taken of. Good for you I say! I hope the venting helped even though you didn't get to hear exactly what you wanted to hear.

Answer 2

Let me explain this in terms you can understand. SHE has custody of the kids, right? So she needs a larger home (more expense) than you do. If she didn't have kids, she could live much more inexpensively. Father's pay half of what it costs to clothe, feed and house the kids...but's all those extra expenses SHE gets stuck with because they live with her (supply fees from school, field trip fees, sport camps, piano lessons, hair cuts, dentist bills, doctor visit co-pays, etc.). She has to hire a babysitter to just go out and have dinner with friends. YOU can go anywhere you want without paying for childcare. Her HALF is caring for the kids FULL TIME. (Actually, it's more than half, because it is ALL the work.) The least you can do is pay your monthly child support and be nice about it. It's for your CHILDREN that you made, and you left! If she isn't working during the day, maybe it's because it is very hard to find a job that lets you work 9 -2:30 (school hours). And she has the kids' laundry to do and housework to keep up. You sound like a very bitter, lazy guy, with no compassion. Take some responsibility, sir. Men like you make me sick. Your kids are lucky they don't have to live with you anymore.

Answer 3

I am in a similar boat. My ex is remarried and she hasn't worked now for over 3 years. She claims "imputed income" on the child support worksheet. This means she claims minimum wage since she has no job. The split is not half and half. They add the two incomes together and decide what percentage of that amount you are earning, then they divide the total child support obligation by that percentage to determine your amount. The assumption is that whatever it costs over what you pay is her responsibility. If she is claiming no imcome, you are paying the entire amount to her.

The system doesn't seem balanced when one party can remain unemployed and cause the other party the majority of the financial burden, but if the children are living with her she has some obligations and burdens that you don't have to deal with on a daily basis. The extra responsibilities she carries can't be measured financially.

My advice is to quit worrying about fair and unfair, as long as you are getting to spend time with your children and they are being taken care of by her when they are with her. This is one of the costs of divorce and you just have to deal with it. Make sure your kids know they are loved and they are happy. The kids are the only real victims in any divorce. Don't make them pay even more.

Answer 4

regardless of whether or not it sounds fair to you, it's what is fair to your children. just because she isn't working, doesn't mean your children should go homeless or not have any clothes or food. if she hasn't taken you to court to raise the child support, then i don't see what the real complaint is. if the child support was determined based on her having an income, then by all means don't complain. she could take you back to court and request additional funds to assist her in supporting the children.
if she drops the children off at school, she picks them up everyday that makes her responsible and accountable for the children. she provides a roof over her head. how she is coming up with her half is not really any of your business. she is providing them a home, clothes, and food. she's doing her part.

Answer 5

It is not actually "half" but rather a contribution. My ex pays $375 a month for my 14 y/o. I work F/T as does my new husband. Together he and I pay more than $375 a month. I know the system seems unfair, but your kids need your help and try not to look at it as supporting her, but rather the kids.
Good Luck

Answer 6

Most of the time its based on 1/3 of the non-custodial parents income. To be perfectly honest with u... u need to just worry bout paying ur part, and not what she does. In time, if she cant afford the child, take her to court and request joint custody. Ur payments will go down, and u will then be entitled to request specific information regarding this. As a paying parent myself.. i have learned to just worry bout what i pay, and less bout the matter. If u feel something isn't right and she cant do it... take further action. Unfortunately, we're not entitled to those answers. But keep in mind, that u can take it to the next level.

Answer 7

No it doesn't sound fair, but at least you are paying. My ex doesn't pay anything for our 2 kids and I have to pay everything but hey, they are my kids and I prefer that way. Even though his part would be nice since i am barely making it. As long as you are doing your part, the kids will see that and know it is not because of you that they can't get something. Sounds to me your ex is just lazy and needs a wake up call. Good for you on paying and continue to pay your part and the kids will love you for it. As for her (the Mom) tell her if she doesn't get a job then you will take her back to court for custody and she'll have to pay you child support.

Answer 8

That is an age-old argument you will never ever win.

Sorry. Been there, done that, seen the child support money go towards tanning and nails and vacations.
The best thing to do is to be a good parent. And never to speak ill of mommy/daddy in the child's presence.

Answer 9

It doesn't sound like you have joint custody. Regardless of the fact that they are in school everyday. They still need clothing, school supplies, shoes, breakfast, lunch, and everyday items to get ready for school. Also who takes them there? When they are gone, who cleans up after them, washes the clothes they will wear, the towels, the blankets? What about the utility bills for the house they live in? I think sometimes men forget those things.

Answer 10

This is always a tough situation. If your support pays all her bills that allow her to stay home and not work, you are paying too much. Even as a woman I believe we should pay our 1/2 too. Heck I paid all as my ex never paid.