why does domestic violence occur?

Question

why does the battering of the male or female happen in the relationship what makes the person become abusive

Answer 1

Domestic violence knows to no socioeconomic, racial, geographic or religious boundaries. It occurs in countries where patriarchy is the norm and women's equality is unrealized. Domestic violence is about power and control. It is most often about men's power and control of women. Victims neither cause nor are they to blame in any way for the violence inflicted upon them. Only when men, both individually and as a class, take responsibility for violence and controlling behavior will domestic violence end. Until then, the primary role of participants in the domestic violence movement is to work with abuse victims to ensure their safety and protection and help them to identify ways to live safely apart from their abusers.

http://www.law.indiana.edu/pop/domestic_violence/


It occurs in order to obtain power and control over an intimate partner. Domestic violence is purposeful and instrumental behavior. The abuser's pattern of abusive acts is directed at gaining power and control over the survivor. Domestic violence is caused by learned behavior.

Learned through:

Observation
Experience and reinforcement
Culture
Family
Communities

NOT caused by:

Anger / stress
Illness
Genetics
Alcohol / drugs
Out-of-control behavior
Behavior of the survivor
Problems in the relationship

http://www.cpaf.info/resources/dv.asp

Answer 2

Most of the time, it is a learned behaviour. If you dig into the person's past, you'd probably find a history of abuse of either them, their siblings or one of the parents and the abuse is continuing as a learned cycle. The other possibility is someone who has never been taught to communicate properly and is bottling everything inside until it has to come out explosively and then they have no control over how they act, which makes them abusive. Typically these people feel extremely bad about how they act and are at a loss as to how to fix it. No matter how you look at it, it's a very sad thing- both for the person being abused and the abuser.

Answer 3

Domestic violence or violence in general is about loss of control.
Imagine being in line at a grocery store for a long period of time and to get the line moving faster , you begin punching people. We generally don't even though we may feel like it because we are able to keep control. Unfortunately, the more comfortable you are in a relationship , the less con trol you may seem to need , that,s why marriage violence is so high as so is child abuse.
To stay in control would lead to less physical turmoil!

Answer 4

It a controlling personality. Sometimes it's innate. Sometime it's due to drugs or alcohol. But the batterer is afraid, and lacks self-esteem so has to hold another person hostage and "own" them to feel important. It's a sickness. The batterer needs psychological help to change.

Answer 5

Coming from experience... Men and women don't know how to keep their mouths shut, or their hands to themselves! And for those that cant do either, they even provoke it... or abuse the other. Alot of it the result of upbringing, on one or both sides. To each their own. Neither one themselves would appreciate it happening to themselves, but how dare they learn to control their anger. Man or woman, they should all be reformed.

Answer 6

Frustration, poor upbringing, trying to gain control over your life, makes a man feel like he is a big shot. The real question is why so many women actually seek out these relationships and need to feel like a martyr.

Answer 7

Usually this is what they saw when they were growing up so that's how they solve problems.

Another reason is they never learned to control their anger.

Domestic violence is something that is the result of things happening in childhood.

Answer 8

I believe it to be a variety of reasons. Insecurity of the abuser for one. One who feels the need to be all controlling. And probably a cycle of violence that needs to be broken.

Answer 9

Abuse occurs from unresolved anger. It becomes a power struggle which lead to bullying, physical and verbal abuse. Women in particular have to protect themselves and separate from this monster. It won't stop and can be deadly. Take care and protect yourself and your family.

Answer 10

The way the person was raised has some to do with it. Also the inability to express anger and feelings to another person. They just hold it all in until it explodes from them and they have no control.