those with prior sexual activities,did you disclose them to your husband or future husband,what was his response,does it ever disturb your sex life with your husband,also do you regret doing it with someone else prior to your husband.
2006-12-14 04:20:49 · 27 answers · asked by baffled 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I have had many prior sexual activities before my husband and yes, it does bother him. I think what bothers him the most is that I slept with many more people than he did. When we have fights, he calls me a h***. Yes, I do regret some of my priors, some I don't though. One of my priors resulted in my very wonderful son, so I can't regret that. Well, there was this other really hot guy I don't regret either.
2006-12-14 04:33:03 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very good question. Actually for me it is a real turn on to my husband to know every inch of detail on any sexual relationship I had before him. It used to bother me until I realized it made him feel good to know me so well. We go a step further and discuss my prior sex life during our own lovemaking and it actually began to make me feel better about my bad experiences if I pretended he was the prior guy but this time when it was over there was real love not hurt or pain and I began healing. As a child I was sexually abused so I used this same technique with him about what was done to me and I no longer feel bad at all about what happened to me. It really helped bring us closer and remove skeletons out of the closet and heal lots of hidden pain within me.
Once I realized how loving he was I admit to wishing I'd waited for him before having willing sex. But he is also my second husband and hopefully my last. I am his second wife also but we've felt from the moment of meeting that we were meant to be together. He tells me that the remnants of other men are no longer a part of me because his love has cleansed me and that pretty much took care of any guilt or discomfort I had.
2006-12-14 13:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by Love to Love 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my husband and I were both married prior to marrying each other, so we already knew the other had other lovers. Out of respect for him, I don't mention old boyfriends, and for respect of me, he doesn't mention old girlfriends. When this subject has come up in conversation, it never makes me jealous nor has it disturbed our sex life. I don't regret any prior lovers. I don't dwell on the past, I just try to make the present and future the best I can. That includes concentrating on pleasing my husband when we make love and not on competing with an ex-lovers
2006-12-14 12:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by Rachel M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was not a virgin prior to my marriage, my husband and i even had premarital sex, but he was not the first. I have disclosed some things, but the past is better off in the past. It didnt involve him, he doesnt need to know. And i feel the same way about his past. And, yes, i regret having other lovers, if i would have known then what i know now, i would have waited for my husband to be the first. But, whats done is done, and it cant be changed. So, i dont dwell.
2006-12-14 12:25:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I talked about everything before we were married. I had been in a relationship before, for five years, and entering into the relationship with my now husband, I wanted to make sure that absolutely everything was on the table. I wanted him to know about my past experiences and I wanted to know about his. It was an absolutely fantastic way to open up conversations about likes and dislikes and also make a nice clean slate before we went further. I think it's important to tell each other about everything before marriage because then there are no surprises and no skeletons pop out of the closet by "accident" and it also lets your mate know there is no reason to hide anything and you're willing to be open and honest, no matter the subject. My husband was not only interested in my prior sexual experiences, but thankful that I was willing to share them and that I didn't judge him for any of his past experiences. It didn't disturb our sex life- on the contrary, it heated it up. :) On the last part of your question, I have no regrets about being with anyone that I was with before my husband. It taught me what I liked and did not like, and gave me skills to bring to my marriage bed. No regrets at all.
2006-12-14 12:30:31 · answer #5 · answered by Peace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Think of it this way. Would you want to know all the details about your husbands past sex life? If you do, would want to hang it over his head if you thought his past choices were disgusting or immoral? Is he demanding that you tell him things about yours? Do you think he just wants to know about it to use it against you? It just depends on the couple. If you guys have always been open with each other about things like that or are a pretty liberal or open-minded couple, it's probably fine. But if insecurity has something to do with the want to know, then I wouldn't. If that is the case, just reassure him that you love him and that you are satisfied. Telling him he's "the best ever" wouldn't hurt either. Wink wink. Just trying to make you laugh.
2006-12-14 12:30:20 · answer #6 · answered by Lady in Red 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My experience is the opposite of what youre talking about which might help you more. I hadnt had sex with anyone prior to my husband ( we had sex before we were married but I was a virgin ). He had sex with 2 other girls before me (I knew both of them - yuck ) and it is not a problem for us. I knew everything up front and it never gets brought up unless Im picking on him. Hope this helps!
2006-12-14 12:25:47 · answer #7 · answered by PenguinsWife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have asked each other vague questions about our sexual pasts. We dont really go into detail and it was a one time thing that we asked each other. No I dont have regrets about the past....like someone already said, its all learning experiences.
2006-12-14 12:28:00 · answer #8 · answered by babyj248 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I both were married before, and had sex with others befor that when we were in college, we talk about or use to years ago, about what this one was like or what that one was like. Being open and honest does not hurt a relationship, as long as you are in it for the long haul.
2006-12-14 12:28:26 · answer #9 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husband knew about my relationship right before him but not my previous sexual history I could never tell him besides there is no reason for him to know. I have no regrets about my previous activities they are part of what made me who I am today
2006-12-14 12:24:55 · answer #10 · answered by missindy09 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋