What is the best way to raise a child?

Question

Strict or permissive? How were you raised? Do you raise your kids the same way? I was not desciplined as I should have been as a teenager especially..and I would have been better if I had been.

Answer 1

Children are different and should all be treated that way. Some need more strict lives, others lax. If you use Love and Patience as your guide, You cant go to wrong.

Answer 2

Strict every time - kids need to know what the rules are and where the boundaries are.

I was raised fairly strictly because I was the oldest while my younger sister had a much easier time of things. She has now brought her two kids up in a very permissive way... and is now paying the price... they are rude, insolent, spoilt and unpleasant. They have tantrums when they don't get their own way (not a pleasant characteristic for a 13yr old and a 10yr old) and cause my sister all sorts of problems.

You don't have to beat your kids half to death for every little thing they do wrong, but what you should do is:-
* set rules and stick with them (both parents should support each other's rules). Consistency is vital.
* reward good behaviour with your attention and appreciation
* ignore minor bad behaviour (which is usually just attention-seeking)
* punish major bad behaviour by withdrawing privelidges such as watching TV, videos, having friends round etc.
* choose your battles - some things are just too minor to make a fuss about. If you pick your kids up on every tiny thing then they soon won't be able to tell what is important and what isn't and they will just feel like everything they do is wrong - which means that they will think it won't matter what they do because they'll get told off no matter what
* smacking is optional - I used to... and haven't needed to for a very long time now because they know that if they overstep the mark then I will. Usually all it takes is my tone of voice for them to realise that they're pushing the limits.
* once they're old enough to understand (which is younger than you think) explain why what they did was wrong so they understand.
* don't do like my sister has done and start off being permissive and try to be strict later on - it doesn't work. It's much easier to be strict to start with so that your kids act responsibly and then you can take the pressure off later on and be fairly confident that they won't take advantage.

Answer 3

My parents were in the middle of being strict and permissive. I was rebellious and ran away when I was 18, (for a week). Got pregnant at 21. I am now 38, married with 3 girls. I don't smoke, drink, or do drugs, and I don't hold it against anyone who does. How you were raised does effect the person you become. I am protective of my oldest daughter. She has a curfew and has a time limit on the phone and the net. I hope she grows up to be a responsible adult.

Answer 4

Strict and Permissive! my parents were very strict! we couldn't do anything most people were doing. the street lights came on my block and we were in the house no questions asked. no parties without knowing the parents or people, not clubs, curfew by the parents not the cops, no boys in the room at any age (unless married) no talkin back, swearing, huh, yeah, or wats. grades r a must...etc. but we had good times! we took vacations, great manners, activities, got introduced to special events and resturants or plays. educated... at the same time most kids were getting in stuff, talking back, stayin out late, getting into bad things (drugs,law) school (don't get me started) wasn't prepared for society... i couldn't stand my parents when i was young-matter of fact i hated them. but as an adult iam a better person b/c of them. i do better and i don't regret how i was brought up b/c of who i am. but it all depends on the person! good luck :)

Answer 5

I think it is best to love your children and raise them with love. I also am strict but sometimes I am permissive. You have to pick and choose your battles. Love your children and teach them the tools to be good adults.

Answer 6

I was brought up with the understanding of different things. It's ok to be gay, to like people of different races, to try all things, go into whatever career. As long as I respect myself and my surroundings, abide by the law, stay careful, don't abuse or take anyone's free will for granted, don't be a violent man, I'll be living a decent life. Honor over tradition.

Answer 7

tender, loving care is mandatory. at the same time a child needs:
---fair rules and regulations
---consistent parenting
---to be able to communicate openly with his/her parents
---to know that your love is unconditional
---to feel safe and secure
---to know that he/she will not be criticized (an absoulte MUST)
---to continuously be praised and encouraged
---to spend quality time with mom and dad
---space to grow independently
---be taught morals and values
---be taught that we all make mistakes and grow from them
---that no one is perfect
---to accept other races, religions, etc. without prejudicial views

Answer 8

you can grab him from underneath and raise him or you can lift him by the arms.