should i tell my friend b4 she gets married?

Question

her fiance end up cheating on her. to make it worst it was her friend. who is my cousin. i comforted both fo them. and told them that i'm going to tell. but they promise me that it won't happen again. but lied. they've done it again but now they aren't. the thing is my cousin is pregant with his child. he told my cousin he loves her friend not her. it was a mistake. his still want to be married. what should i do???? my cousin is pregant and my friend is engage. should i tell my friend about this. so she can dump her fiance and be mad at my cousin. or should i just keep it away from her and let her find out on her own.

what would you do if you were in my shoe????

Answer 1

once a cheat always a cheat. tell now before a divorce or children are involved.

Answer 2

So what if she is getting married before you? This isn't a contest. There may be other reasons she's getting married earlier than concerns about your day because, by the way, the months leading up to your wedding are not just all about you. A lot of people, not just you and her, have used the wedding colors you're going to use. If they want to get married then good for them. If they're moving too fast then that's a mistake they'll have to live with. I personally can't imagine getting engaged that early but it's their life and it's not your place to feel like you can tell her what to do. Why does it matter who gets married first? I think they are moving pretty fast but they still have time before the wedding. It's not like they dated two months and had a one week engagement. I think you should just let her alone and stay concerned with your own upcoming wedding. If you don't want to be in her wedding then that's fine but don't be bitter about her wedding. You're both planning all this for a one day event. Just one day. That's all your wedding is. Yes it's a special day but that doesn't mean other people can't get married around the same time or even on the same day. Get over yourself. In the long run no one is going to care about the colors of your wedding and the details of your wedding. In twenty years people aren't going to remember that your friend had the same colors you had. They will look at you and your husband and her and her husband and they will see if you're still happy together and if you even are together. The marriage is what matters, not all these fluffy details that people will forget. Yes it's nice to have a wedding with cute details but no one cares more than you do. In the end, you're both getting married and that's what counts.

Answer 3

Well to be honest I would want to know. No matter what it is going to come out and I think you should tell her. You have already given both your cousin and your friends fiance an option to spill the beans and tell your friend the truth but they lied to you and put you in the middle of their problem. Your friend and cousin's friendship is over. It was over when she slept with the fiance. And apparently the fiance wants his cake and eat it to and now he is going to get caught and wants comfort. Do the right thing. Give them a chance to tell her and if they dont then you need to step up. Be a true friend. Your cousin will still love you and no matter what you're family. Your friend will still be your friend and then she will know that she can count on you and that you;re a true friend. But as far as your cousin and bf friendship that was out the door when she slept with the man she loves. And they shouldnt put you in a situation to which you have to lie to your friend.
My opinion is to tell the truth otherwise you can loose a friend too!

Answer 4

Check the word friend....of course you should tell her and immediately. Why would you allow her to walk down an isle getting married without full knowledge to make an educated decision based on all the true facts. Hiding this from her is so wrong, incensitive, not being a friend. Would you not want to know so you had the right to get married or say goodbye. This siutation will alter her life for the rest of her life. Give her the tools required to make a decision based on facts not lies. And why worry about what he feels or your cousin. They were the ones that cheated so blow them right open in their face. If you do not tell this person you call a friend I hope you rot!!!!!!!!

Answer 5

Your her friend. Your suppose to have her back no matter what. Even if it hurts her now she will thank you in the long fun. Do you prefer for her to get married and find out and be hurt. Tell her before she gets married and its too late. Be a good friend. Especially because you know something that she doesn't Good luck and i hope you make the right decision

Answer 6

You definetly need to tell. This could get really bad. Do you want your friend to have to go through a divorce and everything else because you knew and didn't tell her? You really need to let her know because he is going to have a child she will find out eventually but it will break her heart so much more if she finds out after they are married and she has wasted so much time and the best day of her life on someone that would do that to her. Do you want her to regret ever being married? What would you want? Would you want your friend to tell you or would you want to get stuck with some loser that cheated on you and you have to go through divorce and everything else? WHAT WOULD YOU WANT?

Answer 7

Oh, what a sticky situation. If you tell her, she ends u[p being mad at you and if you don't tell her and she finds out that you knew, she will still be mad at you. So you can't win at this. I would tell her because she needs to know before she marries this guy or the other thing you can give him the opportunity to tell her himself. That would be the better solution. Good luck.

Answer 8

You did the right thing to confront your cousin and your friend's fiance about the situation. I would give the finance a chance to come clean to your friend and if he didn't I would tell her what I knew. I would ask myself if I would have wanted my friend to tell me something about my fiance as serious as what you know. My answer would be YES! I would hope that my friend would care about me enough to stop me from going into a marriage blindly.

Answer 9

TELL!!! If he is doing this now, your friend will have much more heartache later. Life is too short to waste on someone who is really still chasing tail. He is in love with the idea of marriage....not being married. Your cousin will get exactly what she deserves in the end...another woman he will leave her for.

Answer 10

I think that you should tell your friend..if you're as loyal as all friends should be..you should definately tell her...its going to hurt a lot of people...but it'll be best in the long run...and if your friend does find out later..shes going to be like.."you knew this and you didnt tell me???" its all coming back to you... I know its hard to be in your shoes because it involves people that you love and care for... and its not all you cousins fault that they had the affair..it was HIS fault too because he let it go that far..so anyone your friend should be upset at..would be HIM first...your cousin was just at the recieving end.

good luck in whatever you choose to do ;)

Answer 11

Tell Tell Tell

Just have to be ready if she doesn't believe you and holds it against you. But if she gets married and ends up finding out later, and finds out you knew, she will be even more upset. And then they have to deal with divorce if she chooses.
Give her all the information, if she chooses to ignore it, that's her choice. At least she can't say she wasn't warned.
Just make sure you do it with love and compassion.